Don’t Be Sad

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Why are you sad if the best thing happening to you right now is that you’ve been given a chance to live another day? You are able to breath and live to make things right. To make things better for you. Don’t be sad because certain things aren’t going your way. Sometimes we only plan and see things in a direction where everything is blooming but we don’t realize a lot of times, even if it doesn’t go your way, things are going to bloom regardless. Look at all the things that didn’t go your way in your life and yet, you’ve accomplished so much without it and you are happy without it. You know what contentment is, you know what it feels like but you downplay it by looking at it in a very minuscule point of view, forgetting everything you’ve been blessed with. Know that Allah SWT is the BEST of planners. All you have to do is smile, make an effort and say Alhumdulilah (thanks to Allah) for everything.

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Go Easy On Yourself

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At times in our lives we have everything going for us. We have just graduated from school, we have a job, we are about to get married, we have a car and everything just seems so perfect! We have imagined days like this for months or even years, where everything just feels so right. All the years of being patient, all that hard work has finally come to close and a new chapter in our lives has begun. In these moments we are so happy, that we can’t even imagine things going wrong because everything is in the right place and we accept them with open arms. We begin to celebrate and even imagine all the things we will do in years to come with the new found blessings in our lives.

We also seem to forget that Allah SWT says in Surah Al-Baqara V:155: “Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives and the fruits.” So how come when things are taken away or things don’t seem to go the way we imagined, we become impatient with the test in our lives? We seem to withdraw ourselves from the closest people in our lives and close all the doors that were once open. The things that we imagined that were to be is no longer happening. We crawl into this hole of misery and constantly ponder over these things that have been taken away or have never come to be. We hold onto these moments that have just passed or directly in the past and never let them go.

In these moments of our lives, we seem to find these moments the most precious moments in our lives. They seem to be golden moments or opportunities that have just slipped our hands. We can’t seem to wrap our minds around what has happened. We continue to doubt everything that we worked for and everything we put effort into. Everything we sacrificed and everything our blood and tears were shed for.

The reason why we concentrate on only these things it is because we have made these particular things a crutch in our lives. We have for so long depended on that person or that car or whatever it may have been. We have expected so much from things that we can only work and plan for but only our Creator knows what is to be. As Allah SWT says in the Surah Yasin: “Be! And It Is.” No matter what we do and how we do it, if it is not decreed by Allah SWT, it will never happen. So why is it that we can’t accept these trials and test that continue to happen in our lives? Why do we continue to put ourselves in misery out of things that are out of our control? We can only do our best each day and that is all we can do. We can constantly make duaa (supplication) to better our lives but it is Allah SWT that allows your duaas to be fulfilled at His given time and not ours. I do recall Adam (Peace be Upon Him) made duaa for 300 years before his duaa was accepted and forgiveness was accepted. But the moment our duaas are not answered within our time frame or things don’t go as planned, some of us leave our salah (obligatory prayers), some of us doubt Allah SWT and some of us sadly do consider suicide.

Never get to a point in your life where you except everything to go as planned because even you and I from a logically thinking perspective, nothing will ever go as planned every single time. That person we are seeking to marry, whom we dream about, think about and can’t live without may not end up marrying them. That job we had dreamed about after graduating and getting your masters degree may not be there after you graduate nor that car you expected to buy with that money you were going to make. We can plan every single day our lives, we can even take initiative in those plans but If Allah SWT had not decreed it for you, it won’t happen.

We need to learn to accept the good and the bad as it happens. As the bad happens at first our reaction is, “it is horrible! My life is over! I was not able to marry the person I wanted to or I was not able to get the job I wanted, I had asked Allah SWT every single day and it has not happened, why?” I remember a woman who had made du’aa every single day, hoping and praying that she would have a baby girl after she had already had given birth to a boy. She had hoped Allah SWT would answer her prayers with a baby girl but Allah SWT had planned for her to have another boy. Allah SWT had tried her with that baby boy she had and even then, she pondered as to why Allah SWT had given her boy and not a girl she had made duaa for constantly? Perhaps that son of hers will enter them into Jannah (Heaven) or provide for them when they are old in age or assit them with things they need help with as he gets older or provides them wisdom and experience.  Allah SWT blesses us in so many ways and Allah SWT protects us in so many ways. Just because our duaas have not been answered the way we wanted them to be answered, it does not mean, Allah SWT had intended something bad for us. There is always wisdom behind what Allah SWT creates and there is always going to be wisdom behind everything He does. It is for you and I to accept and understand these things as they transpire over the years.

That person you wanted to marry was not meant to be because there was someone better for you and if you had happened to marry that person, they may have mistreated you or hurt you and Allah SWT always wants to best for you. Now, some may ask, well I’ve been married to this person for so long and if Allah SWT wanted the best for me, why did I marry such a bad person? You may have not done ishtikhara (guidance prayer) or the person you had married is a trial for you itself. There may also be communication issues or things you two may not be doing to please each other for the Sake Of Allah SWT or also you two may not be praying your salah, it is a very broad issue. Allah SWT did make divorce halal for you but this does not mean, when things get tough for the first few times or whatever it is, you file for a divorce. Even that job you had attempted to get numerous times can be applied with the same logic and understanding.

Do not think bad as soon as it happens. Think of all the scenarios that could have been and think of all things that are still going to happen in your favour, in so many forms of blessings that you are yet to see in this life or the next life. We have grown accustomed to thinking negative with everything that doesn’t go our way but we don’t sit and think of all the things that have may have been prevented from what we have wanted. Always do your best to think positive in every situation and always think and know Allah SWT knows best and what is to happen is either maybe a trial for you or a blessing.

Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (May Allah Be Pleased With Him) said: “No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah’s decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from it you cannot flee.”

The Unmarried: Why Women Hesitate On Getting Married

Im really into psychology and philosophy and just studying the actions of others. How people react, why they react a certain way. Their body language and all that. I love it! I think it’s extremely interesting, which is one of the reasons why I enjoy helping others and giving advice. I read this book a few years ago by Theodore Reik who was physcoanalyst. I came across quite a lot of interesting things in that book and one of them was, why women hesitate on getting married. From everything I’ve learned, from all my experiences in this 25 years of life of mine, I agree with what he has written.

Theodore Reik in his book says

You have to live with yourself at least reasonably well before you are able to live with a mate. There must be a certain self-esteem before you can expect that other people will value you highly. A woman is often in danger of depending entirely upon the opinion of the man with whom she is in love with. Nobody should be dependent to such an extent upon another’s opinion of him. Men take women according to their self-evaluation. A woman who does not consider herself worthwhile is not worth a man’s while. You can only accept love when you are sure you have something to give. Women are unconsciously aware of this. They know that they do not appear attractive when they do not like themselves – and it needs courage to be oneself. On the other hand the feeling being loved increases a woman’s self-esteem. She does not need a man because she wants someone to love but because she needs to be needed, wants to be loved. Women want to be proud of their men because they represent for them an extension of their own personality. On the other hand, women often reject a man because they think they cannot live up to the man’s idea or ideal of them.

Modern women’s deflated idea about their own sex leads not only to their over-appreciation of the male as a sex but, sometimes, by a strange detour, to contempt of the particular male who appears as a suitor. It as if he cannot be worth much if he considers a woman so highly. Not to be satisfied with one’s own sex – that is the tragedy of many young women, the more tragic because the situation cannot be changed. Hated of men is an expression of inferiority feeling in women. It is the result of a displacement of self-dislike by dislike of the other sex. Another badge of women’s insecurity is the excessive emphasis on appearance, the exaggeration of the value of good looks, of dress, of adornment, in our culture pattern. It would seem as if, in the mind of women, beauty is the only attraction which appeals to men and as if charm, kindness, grace, intuition and delicacy of feeling were of no avail. Women are admired for beauty, it is true, but rarely married for it. How often we see that men prefer girls with other qualities than their conspicuously beautiful sisters. Many women consider themselves not beautiful and are over-aware of certain physical shortcomings which appear to be fatal. Conspicuous beauty is a curse. The most beautiful women do not arouse on the third day the same admiration on the first; it seems that their beauty prevents, in some way or other, the process of crystallization. Stendhal said: “The more generally one is admired, the more feeling is the admiration.” Women who are not beautiful but have the attraction called “charm” make an impression which is not as intense, perhaps, but more profound and longer lasting. Many a woman is ridden by a superstition that it is wrong to show a man she cares for him. There is an unconscious or conscious fear that as soon as men are shown affection they desert. But extreme restraint causes many women to lose their naturalness and spontaneity with men. They fear that the man will not stay with her when she dares to be herself haunts too many mistaken girls. He would, she thinks, wake up as from a dream and find out that she is mediocre, dull, insignificant. he would realize “how stupid and small I really am.” He would, she thinks, lose respect for her because he would recognize that she has nothing special to offer – and go off in search of a more attractive girl. The fear of being found out later on-or found wanting-is experienced by many women, but an assumed front of overconfidence and self-assurance is a poor cover for a frail ego. The fear concerns almost all qualities, physical and mental, and prevents women from being themselves in the company of men whom they want to attract. Often such woman gets panicky when she becomes aware of her real or imaginary shortcomings. She thinks, then, that her social charm is a miserable substitute for a real warm, her conversation shallow, her personality superficial and insignificant. She fears that the man will laugh at her or lose interest when he discovers she is “a failure as a woman.” “I am not pretty and I am not intelligent. I am afraid to talk about serious matters with him because I would expose myself and be would find out that I am an impostor. A false front is the best I can put up.” There is the hope that the man will love her not on the account of herself but in the spite of herself. She feels that she is not good enough for him and that she ends her pathetic confession with the words, “I have no redeeming feature to my name.” Such a self-abasement of course makes a defense necessary. The will to fail, especially in their relation with men- to destroy their own chances and to become frustrated-is evident in many women in our civilization. Self-doubt in a womans displacement to the man are not only his qualities devaluated. She begins to doubt her love for him. She questions whether she can be happy with the man who wants to marry her. She criticizes his manners and character, finds faults with him in other ways and ask herself whether she really cares for him. Often enough, haunted by uncertainty about the genuine character of her own affection, she begins to test it and subjects the man to subtle mental torture. She withdraws suddenly and seems possessed with all kinds of scruples and hesitations. Of course, there many cases in which doubt regarding the man is justified, but every experienced psychoanalyst can spot an excessive doubt. In one of my cases the unconscious projection became especially clear. A young girl began suddenly to question whether the man to whom she was engaged would b too old for her, whether she would be bored, whether she could remain faithful to him, whether he could compete with other men, and so and and on and on. In a short time, while we analyzed the nature of these doubts, they change their direction: she began now to ask herself whether she was not too immature for the man, whether she had enough interesting things to say to him, whether he would not prefer other girls to her later on. She was afraid she would endanger her independence. Analysis revealed that this girl was justifiably afraid of her own possessiveness, of tendencies in herself to restrict the free decisions and movements of the man. The person who is very afraid of a danger which she wants to avoid becomes so frantic that she does just what she is most afraid to do.

Why Are Video Games Better Than Relationships?

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Why are video games better than relationships? Many couples have this dispute when their significant other takes the attention away from them and puts it into a controller and the images on the screen. They nag and nag and nag and nag, not realizing video games are entertaining. Why are they better than relationships? Plenty of reasons.

When you and your significant other are arguing, there isn’t much you can do at that time, except listen to the argument and get pissed off to the point, where you want to do something stupid. Sometimes the arguments are so stupid, you don’t even know what you’re arguing about. Then one of you goes to sleep unhappy and the rest of the day goes bad.

With video games, when you’re having such great difficulty with the game. You can simply go to options and put it to easy mode. You can fly through the game without getting frustrated. No need to yell at the TV, no need to go to sleep unhappy. You just breeze through the game,lay back and smile. You may feel like you didn’t accomplish what you wanted to accomplish or feel exactly good about it but, it made you happy. Others want a challenge but you wanted things easy.

Another reason why video games are better than relationships, is when an idiot is talking smack on the other side of the microphone, you can either mute them or send them a threatening message. It’s easy and simple. They get rattled up, you laugh and you just enjoy yourself. When they get annoying, you can simply press block.

Now with relationships, you can’t even do that. You got to consider the other persons feelings. You can’t press select and mute them. You can’t say threatening things because they’ll call the cops or worse, break up with you. So you have to consider all of that. It just becomes a constant battle which you can’t do much about it because you’re thinking of the other persons feelings.

When video games become a challenge, it makes your blood boil, you want to throw your controller at the screen. You just get up, quit your game and take out the disc, turn it off and blow some steam. Very easy and very relaxing. You come back a couple minutes or hours later and you try it again.

With relationships you have to sit through the whole blood boiling phase. If you attempt to get up and leave, they think you’re weak. They think you don’t care but all you want to do is not make things worse but still, they refuse to let you go and let you blow off some steam. So you sit there, trading words with your significant other, making things worse for yourselves. It’s not worth it.

Once again, video games are better than relationships. When you get tired of a video game. You can pick it up, make sure it’s clean, has value and sell it. You can take it to Gamestop and get value for it and put it towards another game. Get cash for it and get some food or whatever else your planning on getting.

Relationships don’t allow you to do that. You can’t simply get up and just trade your significant other in because your tired of them. It’s not easy. If it was easy, everyone would be lining up at stores waiting to trade their significant other in for a better one. Again, you have to consider their feelings, you’re looking at how far in you’re in the relationship , whether it is good or bad but shoot, you don’t even care, you just want to try and make it work. When it doesn’t, you’re stuck grieving over a broken heart.

Video games will always be better than relationships. You can buy them at a price of maybe $60 brand new. If you dislike it, you can sell it. If you dislike the difficulty level, you can change it to something easier. If you are dealing with an idiot online, you can mute them. With relationships you can’t do any of that and it just becomes a pain in the ass and a lot of times, you do wish, you could trade them in along with your crappy game.

So next time you are considering getting into a relationship, think of video games. Think of how much joy it is to be in power. To be able to eject the disc and blow off steam. To be able to trade it in for something else. To be able to break it in half. To be able to turn it off when it gets you mad. Most important of all, trade insults with someone online that you don’t even know and probably will never find you, while you laugh at their stupidity.

How I Remain Positive, Content & Motivated

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People might think why or how do you remain positive through all that, that goes on in your life? First and foremost, to me, in my eyes, every single thing that happens to me is nothing but an opportunity. Everything that has happened, has always been an opportunity. I lost a job, that right there is an opportunity for me to grow into another area. It doesn’t mean it is the end or begin to question how or why I lost the job but Allah SWT has not placed an obstacle in my way. Rather he has placed something better along the way. If I lost a loved one in my family, there is time you mourn and you feel weak but you remind yourself, your end is coming soon so this should motivate you to be a better person. To help leave your foot prints into something that your mark in society or even people’s mind is left there. This is an opportunity for you to contemplate what are you going to leave behind? Who are you going to please? What are you aiming to achieve? What is important to you? Is it in this world or the hereafter?

Some people go over board and just concentrate on the hereafter or just work on this world. They just concentrate on attaining materialistic things and nothing more but at the end of the day, when you sit down 30 or 40 years from now, do you want to be remembered as a person who just worked? No, you don’t want to be remembered for that. You want to be remembered for something positive. For something people will sit down and speak about and speak good of you after you are gone. Money is not the means to everything but it is the means to attaining what you want but it doesn’t solve the problems. It pays the bills, clothes you, feeds you but doesn’t solve the issues in your life.

You want contentment? We all do but where are you placing contentment? Who are you placing contentment with? Where are you leaving your mind at? Who are you surrounded with? These are all things you have to answer in order to find contentment. Im telling you, it is not easy to attain and it is not something which is grown on trees or from food you eat because all that is temporary. Some people will say it is in this plant that I smoke or in this liquor I drink but when you really think of it, it is something that is really temporary. It last for a few minutes or hours and even then, you don’t feel right or it is something you regret down the line or even the next day. You want contentment and so do I.

I’ve found it, Alhumdulilah (Praise be to Allah) and the days where Im lacking in my eman (faith), I miss it dearly and it bugs me so much that it makes me sad that I missed one or two. That is my salah! This is where I find my contentment and this is how one of the ways I remain positive and motivated day to day.

It’s also always has to be tawakul (trust) in Allah SWT with ALL your affairs. How long are you going to moan and cry over something that has passed? How long are you going to doubt everything that has happened when in reality, everything that has happened has been an OPPORTUNITY for you. An opportunity to get better. To be better. To get closer to Allah SWT. To open your eyes to live another day. This is an opportunity! To dry your tears after a heart break or depression. This is an opportunity for you! To be something others have doubted. To be something influential. To be motivational. When you leave it ALL, every single affair you go through in your life. Every single struggle. You turn to Allah SWT and leave everything with Him and no one else, this is what you call tawakul (trust) in Allah SWT. This is where you sit back, relax after tying your camel, meaning making that effort in whatever it is and breathing a sigh of relief. This is where you’ll feel contentment in your life. Whatever happens after that, you say Alhumdulilah (Praise be to Allah) and you smile! This is how you remain positive.

Allah SWT will constantly test you with so many things but it is how you make the MOST of those opportunities. Nothing in life is “bad.” Bad is perceived with so many negative connotations but in reality, nothing is ever bad. Everything is always an opportunity. If you constantly think like this. Thinking positively of every outcome instead of thinking “how come it happened to me? I’ve been good all my life! I don’t deserve this!” You will be content with your life. Leaving your affairs with Allah SWT. You will be content with your life because you’ve learned to accept nothing as bad. Began to perceive things as opportunities rather than I’ve failed. Began to see positivity in everything you do. In every single effort you put fort, it is through positivity, an opportunity given and trust in Allah SWT.

This is how I’ve found true contentment in my life. I never look back at life and say; “what if I’ve done things differently at this time?” No, never with that belief in my mind. Allah SWT has allowed things to be a certain way and I look at life, gleaming, beaming with opportunities to improve myself after every so called failure. After every so called missed opportunity. After every heart break. After a phase where I feel like I can’t get up no more. I grab that rope of Allah SWT and I hang onto it and never let it go.

Look at things positively. Be content with the affairs in your life and have full trust in Allah SWT that everything in your life is for Him and Him alone and everything that is going to happen and will happen, has shaped you to be who you are today. You are a strong individual because of those moments in life. You are a much better, wiser individual because of those moments in life. You are not failure. No! Because every failure calls for an opportunity and if you are at that moment in life now, this is YOUR opportunity to get up and keep going and never look back but look back for the lessons you’ve learned ,Insha’Allah. This how I perceive my life and live it. Allah praise is due to Allah SWT.

May Allah SWT guide you and keep you strong.

Asalamwalikhum (Peace Be Upon You)

This is for those who have been following my blog all these months and those who have been reading it and for everyone else. I just want to let you all know, if you need someone to talk to about something, if you need advice on whatever it may be, don’t be afraid to send me a message. Don’t be afraid to ask me if you are unsure of something you’ve read on my blog. I don’t primarily write for myself. I write for the betterment of everyone else. Allah SWT has given me the ability to write to help others, so I am here to help you. Im sure you have a lot of unanswered questions. Im sure you are doubtful about certain things in your life, get the advice you need that will insha’Allah, help push you in a better direction. In a positive direction. That will insha’Allah enable you to be a better individual. There is nothing wrong with getting advice or help. There is nothing wrong with asking a question. Don’t let those doubts barricade you. Don’t build your mind on assumptions but build your mind based on something that will insha’Allah help you progress, that will clear those doubts and assumptions you have. Im here, so take the opportunity to use it to your advantage.

Why Women Get Played (Be Wanted, Not Needed)

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For many years, I have helped many people resolve issues in their lives. A lot of the issues I have helped address, have been relationship issues. Many of them pertaining women and how they have been treated by men. A lot of them seem to be left in a state of confusion with “men” who attempt to take the role of men, only ending up to be boys. Women who are easily swayed by words are usually the ones getting left and abused by these so called “men.” Saying all the right types of words they want to hear. I will explain below, as best as I can to address this issue and why women, nice women, get treated like dirt. Inshallah

The issue always begin with the woman always choosing and chasing the wrong type of guy. Every time I have talked to a woman, they usually end up with a douche bag, who has no idea how to treat his woman. They are easily swayed by words and this itself creates the problem in the first place. Words are manipulative and they are usually meaningless, unless there is a right intention behind it, which usually isn’t in this case.

It leads them down a dark road, which seems bright, with an imagination filled with love and romance. Which they believe is love and romance, which is nothing but an easy score for the guy. They wear their heart on the sleeve and continue to play through this charade the guy has put up, while the woman, believing everything the guy says and does. It leads to heartache and heart break, with so much to lose because usually they begin to lose their trust towards men in the future.

Again, words are manipulative and women are easily victim to these things. They continue to believe in this act of love and romance, which again, is nothing but their imagination coming into play. Women love to be loved and want to be loved. They want romance, well some do because it plays to their imagination which they have created for themselves. Most men easily understand these things because they know, a woman wants to be needed and they loved to be pampered. These things don’t come in the form of words now, they come in the form of gifts, which they believe is love now, is romance being portrayed.

Women will show they love their significant other, they will want attention in return because it’s what they believe is needed. It’s what women want, is the attention and the need to be loved because if they aren’t getting it in return, they feel torn apart because it is what they feel deserve. Men, again take advantage of this, creating distance, creating separation and only creating a mental and trust issue in the long run. When creating distance between each other, the woman craves the man more and shows more affection towards him because she feels she isn’t loving him enough. So she does all sorts of things to get his attention. Some do whatever the man says, just because they believe they are in love and want the love in return.

This is definitely a wrong way to handle yourself because you aren’t benefiting from the situation. You are only giving into their demand and charade which they acted out quite carefully. In the end, the man ends up leaving because he got what he needed. Now, the woman is left confused for many months. When it comes to men and women, women are not the type to get over a heart break easily. They will carry through this heart break for months. Not forgetting the things happening to them. They will drag themselves through the day and destroying relationships and friendships between those who are close them. It also destroys trust and love, for those who actually want to give it in return to them.

If only women were aware of these words and the actions that may come into play. If women only learned from their mistakes and did not destroy the trust lost between the past and the present. What happens in the past, should only be a lesson to be learned for the present and the future. I believe, women should definitely stand their ground when it comes to men and not give in so easily. Lay down the law and let men know that come into your life, if you aren’t marrying me, you aren’t having me in any shape, way or form.

This way, it lets the man know, what she actually wants from the relationship. Those who intend to stay, usually act out their words and not leave them as words. Let the boys play the games with the girls, who refuse to listen and only want to give a piece of action in return. Let the women, the strong, the powerful, the believing in love and real romance type, to find the ideal guy, who shows what she is worth.

Stop trying to be easy targets and stop trying to create unnecessary attention. It is what places you in these situations which leave you heart broken and seem think you were worthless. Love yourself before you seek to love others. Men love those types of strong, powerful, standing their ground type women. Intelligent women. Be wanted, not needed. Being wanted creates more of an attraction and being needed only puts you on the shelf where I know, you don’t want to belong.

6 Rights Of A Muslim Upon Another Muslim – The Sixth Right: And if he dies, follow him (his funeral).

The sixth and final right:
His statement, “And if he dies, follow him (his funeral).” For verily whoever follows the funeral until the deceased’s body is prayed over, then he will receive a Qeeraat of reward. (Translator’s note: A Qeeraat is an amount equivalent to the size of the Mountain of Uhud in Madinah.) And if he follows the funeral procession until the body is buried, then he will receive two Qeeraats of reward. And following the funeral procession contains (fulfillment of) a right for Allaah, a right for the deceased, and a right for the living relatives of the deceased. Ash-Shaikh ‘Abdur-Rahmaan bin Naasir As-Sa`dee (Rahimahullaah)

Being A Better You (Self Reflection)

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I remember a couple of years ago, my life was a mess. I could honestly tell you, I was at a bottomless pit with no guidance what so ever. You could almost say, I lived a life with really no purpose or direction. I did what I wanted to do and I could careless what you thought of me but seeing yourself going in a direction with an empty feeling everyday, mind just clouded with all the things you either go through or put people through, just takes a toll on you. You eventually realize, there is a purpose to life and there is a purpose of you being here. Every one of us chooses a direction, a path we want to go in and those paths in life opens doors to either more hardships and trials or ease and patience with trials you go through.

I realized if you want to change your life, YOU must take control of your life. Your friends, your family, can only do so much for you and instil a great deal of confidence and positivity in you but if YOU don’t have that belief, you aren’t going no where except staying at the bottom, where you are trying so hard to get out of.

Life is going to be tough and your life is not going to change over night or over a period of weeks. You are still going to be dealing with the thoughts of you doing the same things you were doing before because of the comfort zone you were in, despite the way you feel on a day to day basis. There is going to be peer pressure. There is going to be all sorts of influence of you going back to the life you hate deep down inside and want to get away from but you feel like you can’t.

Don’t be that person that loses hope in becoming a better person, in looking for change because change is in you. It starts with being positive about yourself. It starts with removing all the barriers that are directly in front of you and continue to progress in life and making it more meaningful. You must ask yourself, is the position I am in today making me happy on a day to day basis or is my happiness temporary then I go back to this empty feeling? Ask yourself several questions about your character, about your day to day actions and then establish a mindset and do your best to stick to it.

A gourmet meal isn’t made in seconds. It takes time to prepare that meal, to marinate whatever you are making and then putting that effort into making it, trial and error to ensure it is a 5 star meal. You must have that mindset of always progressing in life. Your past may be however it is. Just as there may be a scar on your face or body from an accident or stitches, you can’t go back and remove that scar, just as you can’t go back and remove your past. You make peace, ask forgiveness, make amends with your past and move on. Just as there is darkness, there is always going to be light, no matter where you go. So don’t give up hope on yourself. Allah SWT will NEVER give up hope on you. Others may have given up on you but don’t give up on yourself. Life is beautiful but you must beautify yourself and it starts with making an agreement with yourself, that tomorrow is going to be better and make tomorrow better and the days and months and years after that.

Always, always remember, Allah SWT will never give us something which we can’t handle. The burden in our lives is something we can deal with, so deal with it accordingly and make your life better by being a better, positive, you. Don’t just say I will do my best, be the proof you will do your best. Make a continuous effort in your life to be the change. A car does not drive itself, a phone does not dial itself, unless you didn’t lock it and food does not magically appear in a plate for you to eat, to satisfy your hunger. You must make that effort by not only saying it but by being it. Insha’Allah (If Allah Wills). All praise and credit is due to Allah because without Him, my life would have never changed. I constantly make an effort to strive to be a better person everyday, I battle just as you battle but I’ve learned that I can control my battles better now because I’ve made better decisions to not live in my past, to not live fearing what others will perceive of me, to not put “what if” in everything I do. I trust Allah SWT and I do it. This is what it is called putting tawakul (trust) in Allah SWT. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “If only you relied on Allah a true reliance, He would provide sustenance for you just as He does for the birds: They fly out in the morning empty and return in the afternoon with full stomachs” [Tirmidhi]

Allah SWT says in the Quran: “Indeed Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.” Surah Ar-Ra’d, [13:11]

6 Rights Of A Muslim Upon Another Muslim – The Fifth Right: And when he becomes ill, visit him

The Fifth Right:
His statement, “And when he becomes ill, visit him.” Visiting the sick is from the rights of the Muslim, and especially for the person who has a highly stressed and emphasized right upon you, like the relative, and the friend, and so forth. It is from the best of the righteous deeds. And whoever visits his Muslim brother, he remains engulfed in the mercy (of Allaah), and when he sits with him the mercy (of Allaah) covers him. And whoever visits the sick Muslim at the beginning of the day, the Angels send prayers of blessing upon him until evening comes, and whoever visits him at the end of the day, the Angels send prayers of blessing upon him until morning comes. It is desired for the person who visits the sick to supplicate for him to be cured and to make him feel at ease. He should ease his worries by giving him glad tidings of well-being and recovery (i.e. be positive). He should remind him of repentance and turning to Allaah, and he should give him beneficial admonition. He should not sit with him too long (i.e. over staying his welcome), rather he should o­nly sit with him long enough fulfill the right of visiting, unless the sick person is positively effected by many people coming in to see him and many people coming to sit with him. Thus, for each situation there is a different statement (i.e. advice o­n how to deal with it).