Why Are You Sad? (Video)

 

 

Link To E-Book (Uploaded With Table Of Contents, Preface & Chapter 1)

https://payhip.com/b/3FdM

Assalamu’alaykum (Peace Be Upon You)

If you are ever finding yourself lost, confused, not encouraged and not inspired to be the best you can, I have written an amazing book that helps motivate and inspires to help you become the best and “The Strongest Version Of Yourself.” I have also used many authentic hadiths and ayahs (verses) from the Qur’an to help show us that Allah SWT has shown us how to deal with whatever we are going through.

Some of the topics covered in the book are:

Accepting Your Blessings
The Past
Dealing With Negative People
A Hard Heart

And many other topics that you may be dealing with on a daily basis and may need answers for. I don’t think you’ll regret reading this book because it can be a life changer for you and help you see life in a very different but very positive perspective and help you overcome many things.

Book Reviews

Review #1

After reading ‘The strongest version of yourself’ I realized that I could be doing much more to reach my full potential. I think it’s a really good book for anyone who is looking for motivation of any kind, particularly those of us who are limiting ourselves. It definitely made me think further about the things I could do to help achieve my goals, and definitely made me appreciate the life that Allah has bestowed upon me. I also appreciate the fact that the author took verses out of the Quran and elaborated on them to suit the chapter and assist in getting the point across.

Derya Keles – Melbourne, Australia

Review #2

I have just finished reading your book. I love this book. I think this is a great inspirational book for anyone needing advice for situations that they have gone through or are currently going through. I don’t have any favorite chapters, as I thought they were all great chapters with great genuine advice. The two chapters that helped me are “The Past” and “A Hard Heart”. I learned to let go of my past and stop reliving the pain and hurt over and over again in my mind. To focus on now and look forward to the future Insha Allah. To not let my past prevent me from having a future. More importantly, I learned to not let my heart become hardened because of the actions of one individual, making me become someone whom I’m not but to continue to possess the attributes that Allah (SWT) has blessed me with. You are a blessing and inspiration to me. You are well on your way to becoming a great writer. May Allah bless you for your efforts and continue to bless you with more success.

Malikah Scott – Evansville, Indiana

Review #3

Woooow!!! just finished reading ur book a while ago. I knew it was going to be good but it turned out to be waaay good. Excellent book, honestly. Especially, as an American Muslim, thinking like us, having knowledge like this MashaAllah. May Allah bless u always. I liked all chapters really, especially using Hadith & using Ayat from Qur’an. Every chapter was different & useful, enjoyed it. It motivated me & how to be optimistic, and wanting to change things in life. And liked ur ending or conclusion.

Lamyaa Kandil – Dubai, United Arab Emirates

Review #4

Since my deen and mental-state have benefitted from your writings, I was very eager to read “the strongest version of yourself” And I must confess that my expectations have been fullfilled…
It’s pretty amazing that Allah (SWT) can change so much in your life through someone you haven’t even seen in real life. I feel like this book has been written for me because the topics touched many of my weaknesses that I have always wanted to change.
Without spoiling anything, all I wanna say is: If you are in a bad state of mind and feel a lack of motivation/inspiration, instead of spending loads of money at the place of a psychologist, first get yourself a hold of “the strongest version of yourself” and see how the buds blosson away. .
I mean after all this book isn’t just some “blah blab blah” by someone who is a stranger to you, but it is written by one of your brothers in Islam who made use of the best of suggestion about how to deal with life that is the Quran…

Fatma Kaganoglu – Wuppertal, Germany

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The Hopeless Dreamers

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The people who we choose to surround ourselves with either trap us in their own demise or push us towards greatness. Each choice leads us towards a better lifestyle or a life that will crumble along with theirs. I once read in “The 48 Laws Of Power” how people can be poison and surrounding yourself with sweetness, greatness, will lead you towards a better life. We often keep people around for benefits, hoping they change, hoping they give us something more, only for them take everything you’ve been given and leave you to dry out in a hot sun with no water. You are dying for thirst, hoping they reach back at you, only for you to get nothing in return, concentrating on themselves and how they can get more.

We often give keys away with no locks on a door, free entry, no payment needed, only for us to regret knowing that locks on a door keep us safe from thieves who will eventually steal your heart and trap your soul in total bitterness, leaving your heart cold, longing for revenge. It is a grave mistake that we take to our beds, hoping to rest comfortably only to be restless all night battling our thoughts, hoping this tossing and turning will stop us dead in our sleep, not literally but peacefully where we no longer feel the poison going through veins making us gasp for air. We only want our fair share of life but who is to say it is deserved anyway? We place ourselves in situations we often believe it’ll better our soul only for our soul to never better but become bitter with “I wish I never” only for nothing to change but lessons to take back to people, to teach our life to those who are as naive as we were. To those who are dreamers like us, who leave hope in humanity, longing for change to come, hoping to be recognized for our potential and not the possessions we own or plan to own. We are only hopeless dreamers, with dreams turned into nightmares that we were once aiming for the sky, reaching for the moon and amongst those stars hoping to land, being a glimmer in someone’s eye watching from earth to know how valuable we really are. Only for them to turn a blind eye to the star gazing back at them by the shining of the street lights, taking the beauty away of what the Creator has created and put in front of them.

The blessings we often overlook trying to impress the ones who see right past us, while those deserving of it are overlooked, left with nothing but despair and a tear for their worries, hoping it would build a river carrying them away, to another island that would appreciate us. With open arms, lots of love, cheerfulness and most important of all, appreciation we often look for, that is given a blind eye, only for those who are truly blind to embrace the genuine nature of our souls, which penetrated their hearts. Eventually, we will arrive at the end knowing what each of these are lessons are for,  to better our souls, no matter how hard your life may be. No sadness lasts forever and no happiness lasts forever but in the remembrance of Allah is where the souls, the heart finds rest. Peace in due time, knowing to never wear your heart on your sleeve and reliance in people is like lighting a cigarette thinking it’ll never harm you. Surround yourself with the harmless but cheerful. The dreamers, not the nightmares and cure not the poison. Positivity attracts positivity and negativity diminishes positivity. Know what you are choosing and who you choose your give your time. They will either help you increase your life or decrease it by leaving you in sorrow and never in remembrance of your blessings and your potential.

I am “unattractive”

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There are no “unattractive” people in the world. Each person’s attractions are different and the only thing that can make a person unattractive is having the belief you are unattractive. As long as you hold onto the belief you are “unattractive” the more you’ll come to acceptance of this false belief, which in turn, turns into the truth only to you but nobody else. The thought often stems from a person not liking us, our physical selves but this does not mean you are unattractive, this just means their taste are different than yours. A person may find purple clothes attractive or whatever it may be but you may not and this is due to us being born with personal preferences. Your “unattractive” self may be attractive to others and you don’t even know but since you hold onto that belief, hold yourself with little confidence, it follows you every where. You are more attractive than you think so believe that and accept it. Just because one or few find you “unattractive” doesn’t mean it is a fact, it’s a personal choice based on personal preference. Hold yourself with confidence and others will hold you to that level. Also, no one else can have the power to tell you are unattractive unless you’ve accepted it already. Only thing that may make a person unattractive is their personality and even that is a personal preference.

The Power Of –

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Many times after helping someone, weeks or months later I’ll receive an email or a message stating how much I’ve helped them overcome something in their life. I just sit back and think, did I really do anything? When I think of what I actually did, I just simply made you believe in yourself which is something you’ stopped doing for a very, very long time. All you needed was reassurance of who you are, what you can become and what you are capable of doing. I didn’t do anything except make you tap into your God given abilities that were hidden all along. I didn’t make you strong. I didn’t make you happy. I didn’t fight your fears. All I did was give you a few or hundreds of words of reassurance and you followed your heart with a strong belief all along. I am not capable of making you do anything. You are capable of all this yourself, with a little push of course.

A lot of times, we forget to look ourselves in the mirror. We often do look in it but we don’t look inside ourselves and see who we really are. Under all of this anger, depression, fear, heartbreak, lust, desires, there is a great person in there all along that has hidden themselves because you’ve allowed another individual to hold power over you. Behind those eyes and the tears falling, there is a strong individual that has allowed another individual to have power over you. You are what you think of yourself. If you think you are a scared individual, that is who you are. If you think you are not a strong individual, that is who you are. If you think you can never move on from your past, that is who you are. Don’t allow yourself to have a negative thought process that begins with a memory of something of the past, which has gone, just like the clothes that you outgrew. Each of those memories, especially a negative one prevents you from tapping into your God given abilities to be who you are supposed to become.

You, especially YOU, prevent yourself from moving on to seeing this potential. From revealing this beautiful gift, this soul, this life to the world and the people around you. That is YOU. I often say, so many people rely on you for happiness and how you make their day but you concentrate on those who suck your life dry, trying to make them happy and make their day, while they destroy your life. People appreciate you but you want to appreciate the one that will never appreciate you. Allah has given you everything in your life, the ability to think, reflect, intelligence, talent, skills, characteristics and so much more that others don’t have but you often forget those, while concentrating on another persons blessings which will never be yours.

You are the person who can make difference in your life by seeing what you have before you. By appreciating those around you and forgiving and moving on from those who hurt you. Who despise you. Who want to destroy your life. It takes strength to do it but believe, it is something you’ve been built with. Don’t say, I don’t have it in me. Don’t think you don’t have it in you but BELIEVE you have it in you. You are indeed a special individual who… no matter what you are going through today, you are going to blossom, grow out of this cocoon that you see yourself trapped in and become even more stronger, more beautiful than you’ve ever been just like that butterfly.

I cannot do anything for you, neither can others. We can only show you who you are, what you are capable of and what your abilities are, after that, it is your choice and a choice is powerful. So make the right one by believing all of this, especially this blessing you call life. Don’t take it for granted. Don’t regret it by allowing another individual to live it for you. You only have one, so protect it, value it, control it as much as possible and let Allah take care of the rest, smile, live, love and most important of all, love who you are and love who you will become. You are capable of anything you put your mind to, so don’t put your mind to those who pay you no mind and will never want to see you succeed. Allah will continue to bless you so accept this blessing called life and live it happily by identifying the person inside and knowing it is the person inside that counts and will measure up with time, while time will erase your looks. Be who you are supposed to become, don’t question it. Just follow your heart, do what you love to do every day of your life and become it. Break out of those cuffs that have you tied up and be free. You are capable of all this. Never stop believing and never stop believing in yourself. It’ll take you along way. Believe in yourself, be confident and let Allah do the rest for you.

Begin, today.

Be Patient, Stay Strong & Smile

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Whatever you are going through, do your best not to cry so much. It’s okay. It is just a test, a trial in your life and you have been through so many. This isn’t any different than the others, it just feels different. Just as you have passed all the other tests in your life, you’ll get past this one too. Your days may feel cloudy with lots of rain but it is temporary. No rain last forever. The downpour is temporary. In your mind, you think it feels like it is an eternity but it is not. Nature changes and people change too and as nature changes, so will you. You’ll be what you are supposed to become and this test is going to make you that person who is already loved by so many. So don’t cry, things will be okay, no matter what you are going through today.

Allah SWT says in Surah Al-Baqara (The Cow): “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear”

And also Allah SWT says in Surah Ash-Sharh (The Relief): “With hardship comes ease”

So be patient, smile, make du’aa (supplication) and know, these days are not here to stay, just as the rain is not here to stay. After every storm, behind the clouds, there is the sun and just as the sun brings ease and happiness in many people’s lives, after this test in your life is over, it’ll do the same for you. You’ll be revised, renewed, a better individual. A wiser, stronger, more patient and blessed individual who conquered the soul and the mind to be where they are supposed to be. Don’t hang your head low but keep it up and be hopeful because there are much better days ahead. It begins with you walking towards a better life with patience, commitment and knowing this is only a test and these days are numbered and it to shall pass and after hardship comes ease.

What Is Love

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Love is about appreciation, patience, care, compromise, sacrifice, understanding, support, positivity, affection, team work.

Love is not about oppression, discouragement, negativity, anger, slavery, physical abuse.

Love is about sweetness in words, actions, a look in the eyes, a kiss, a hug, embracing one another.

Love is not about adultery, cheating, lying or stealing.

So why is it so hard to love one another, when it all so easy? We are all out chasing those who don’t love us but those who love us, don’t get our time and when we lose their time and patience, we hope to have it back. Love whomever you want to love but love them with sincerity and trust. Love them unconditionally. Love them as if tomorrow will never come and make amends to arguments and fights, as those are destructive and making amends heals. Do not delay being affectionate to one another, showing each other “I love you.” Each individual has put in time and effort, hoping to never lose you and understand that time is valuable and could be spent else where. Learn to appreciate them before tomorrow never comes or they want to leave and never want to come back. Show yourself, prove yourself, never be hidden in a glass bottle hoping to escape for air, as that air keeps you tight in your lungs and leaves a tightness in your chest. Be open with who you are and be free from criticism because those who love you will never criticize you for who you are but will rather accept you and help you improve. Love is so vast it is as vast as the ocean deep with beautiful creatures each uniquely created. As beautiful as the coral reef with it’s vivid colours just flowing freely in the waters. Love is so much more than we know but we grow to hate it because our experiences in life make us bitter, as if we tasted the end of it. Love will never end but it ends when you think it’ll end. Everything about love is mental and actions. If you think it, it’ll become it and you can do it, so think positively about love as Allah did put love and mercy between our hearts. Don’t give it away cheaply or freely but give it to those who deserve it because not everyone who comes into our lives are deserving but each individual deserves a chance to prove themselves to you. This also doesn’t mean, each individual deserves your time and if you are not feeling it, then it’s best not to mess with their love which is truly genuine as it will create an experience which will lead to bitter beginnings, as this may not be an ending for them. We all are created to give love and have love but not to be taken advantage of the love given. Be intelligent and never wear your heart on your sleeve. Wearing it on your sleeve is like holding meat in front of a pack of lions and everyone will want a bite of it, while you receive nothing but scars. Love can be taken past mountains and past the stars but the question is, do you want that? How much do you want to prove your love to someone but you never did because you were scared of commitment or scared you’ll never get it back? You can be scared all your life but if you don’t choose to experience life itself, you’ll never know what love and life feels like. And heartbreaks aren’t easy and they never will be, they come with love but those who cherish you, will never intend to break your heart but rather heal it from the form it was left in by those who never appreciated you. Love is not evil and never has been. We have just been in situations that have given a misconception of love and how it should feel. Love should never be defined by those who ruined it and love should always be defined by those who are genuine enough to show it and live it. Each tale of our lives, defines what love should be and what it will be. Love is about better beginnings, never about bitter endings because after the bitterness wears off, we always look for something sweet to repair it. Love with every part of you and never give half of yourself but give yourself fully. Commit, appreciate, show what you mean and be who you are. Love is going to be tears and love is going to be sleepless nights but a love that is meaningful wipes aways those tears and helps you sleep at night. Love can be explained in many different ways but to me, this is what love is and probably more.

Advice: Regarding Your Post on Solutions For a Heartbreak

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(She had allowed me to share her story)

 

Assalamu alaykum Malik Shabazz,

My name is ——- and I would like to thank you for writing “Solutions For a Heartbreak”. Jazakallah khair. It has helped put some things into perspective for me. I was still left with one question however. I’ve tried moving on for about a year now and every time I was able to get back on my feet, he would come into my life and bring me down again. The mistake I made was allowing us to be “friends” after. He would treat me like a friend one day, and more than that on others that it would give me hope. When I saw him pursuing someone else, it hurt me so much that I had to cut off all contact with him for the sake of my sanity. But even now that I’ve done that, I still can’t avoid him. He comes to my university to see her and they hang out at the places where I go to for either class or studying. And if not at university, I see him in downtown with her. I’ve tried to mend the rifts, realize that what we had in the first place was haraam, and let go of everything but I still feel so hurt when I see him. We’ve been together for about three years and I sincerely believed I loved him and I still do. I keep having thoughts like “he’s doing the exact same things with her as he did with me” or “what’s wrong with me that he doesn’t want to marry me?”. I try so hard to be thankful to Allah and seek His forgiveness and accept that this is what was written for me. And every time I feel like I’ve come to terms with it, I see him and these thoughts come back into my mind. I feel so lost and everything in my minds seems so blurry and I don’t know who to turn to after Allah for advice. We have so many mutual friends it’s difficult for me to not run into him. Do you have any advice on how I can avoid him? Or how I can pick myself up more quickly after I see him? If you have time, your advice is very much appreciated.
Thank you so much for sharing your writing. It has helped me in many ways. May Allah reward you and give you the best in this life and the hereafter.
Wa salaam,
———
Walikhum salam, ——-. I clicked on your google+ profile and it says you are from Toronto! WOOHOO! A Torontonian like myself! That’s awesome!!

It’s really good that you let him go and let him stop hurting you. That’ was a huge step and you seen what he was doing to you. You’ve realized the value of yourself and you’ve believed you should not be treated like this anymore and you obviously deserve better. That is huge progress and many women do not do this. Instead, they continue to be treated badly but still pursue the man, hurting themselves over and over again. Be proud of yourself as you overcome a huge obstacle that many fail to see and realize.
In this situation you are going through, you have two options. Only two options. You either leave the university you are going to, avoid downtown and cut off all the mutual friends you have with each other and let him know he controls your affairs. He controls your heart. He controls your mind. He controls the way you live and he is basically in control of everything you do. Basically, he owns you.
Option number two is. You are strong and no matter how many times you see him with that other woman. No matter how many times you see him downtown. No matter how many times you mix with your mutual friends, you are strong because you are in control of how you feel. He does not control of how you feel and he has never have. He may have for that temporary moment in your lives together but he no longer does. People only have a such minor effect on us that we let them control the major parts of our body. That is our brain and our heart. He doesn’t own neither of those things. You can run away from him but running away never solves anyone’s problems. It’s obviously difficult to see him with someone else because you obviously saw a future with him. You planned a lot together and spent a lot of time together but after that, it never progressed. When facing anything in your life, you must face it standing tall and never be afraid of that moment. You are in control of who you are and will always be. The people on the outside, the people that were temporarily there, never controlled you but you allowed them to be this huge, massive, important person who was able to do as they pleased. If they wanted you to be unhappy, you became unhappy. If you wanted to be happy, you became happy. When giving people control of you, this is what happens. You control whether you should be happy or whether you should be sad and not any other individual. You tie your camel and leave the rest to Allah, that’s how life works.
Heartbreak is tough. It’s one of the toughest things I’ve ever dealt with but it builds so much character. It makes you understand the value of yourself. It makes you understand the value of your friends. It makes you love who you are. It makes you see your flaws that you work on them and you love them because it makes you who you are. People take heartbreak as such a terrible thing but it has built so many great people and made them value themselves even more. After this, value yourself like you’ve NEVER valued yourself in your life because you deserve it. Not from anyone else but from yourself. We are in control of minor things in our lives but the major things is in Allah’s hand and will always be. Whatever was meant to come your way was going to come and you would never avoid it. Whatever wasn’t was going to, is going to miss you. This should build you up to be the woman you want to become. The strongest version of yourself. This is what trials do. They build up superior characters from weak individuals that we once thought we were but we never were, we believed that we needed a crutch from someone else to see that value of ourselves when all we needed to do was realize who we were and what Allah SWT has blessed us with.
Insha’Allah, this helps. You are more than welcome to email me back whenever you like with more questions about anything.
————–
Assalamu alaykum,

Jazakallah khair for your response. You have raised many points that have given me strength and optimism when I think about moving forward now. I know it won’t be easy and it will take patience and Insha’Allah I will remember them and apply them to my daily life. I really appreciate the time and effort you took in replying back. I pray Allah will continue to shower His blessings on you in this life and the next. Ameen.

Wa salaam,
———
Solutions For A Heartbreak can be read here

My 4 Keys To Happiness

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4. The Gym

The feeling when you step into the gym and see all those weights, it’s probably one of the most beautiful feelings. You go into a whole different mindset when you step in there. Your mindset is onto your goals and everything that was in your head before you came to the gym is gone. Lifting those dumbbells, pressing that bar, squatting that weight as heavy as you can, feels so good! Pushing your body to the limit. To see what you got. Do you have the will to keep going even after that last rep took everything out of you? Are you going to complain, it’s too heavy? NO! You are going to go there and give EVERYTHING YOU GOT! Your heart is pumping, you are sweating, feeling great and everything just connects and clicks. I don’t think there are many things that can replace this feeling. The gym has you feeling great and looking great. Now, I know I have women that follow my blog and women, read carefully. Lifting weights does not make you big, bulky. Lifting weights and then eating a lot of food makes you big. Those muscular women got to that stage because their intake of calories and macronutrients went way over than what they were usually eating. Lets say for example, she ate 1200 calories a day and she increased that, she would obviously put on size. Lifting weights does not make you big. Eating garbage food, sitting on the couch, lifting the remote to change the channel makes you big. Be active!

3. A Healthy Lifestyle

People in my family like to call me grandpa with the discipline I have over what foods go into my body. Im not a junk food person. Im not a cake person. Im not even a person with a sweet tooth, considering my entire family has one. If I told you, I could eat junk food all day and I’d lose weight, you would say you are lying! but that is the truth, it happens to me. While my siblings will eat something sugary, I’ll be eating fruits. While they eat something high in trans fat, I’ll eat something in good fats, like an avocado, eggs or walnuts. The thing about a healthy lifestyle is, what you put into your body, is what you’ll get out of your body. I remember whenever I ate Popeyes, it taste good but the feeling after in your stomach is not worth it. You also have to understand, your body is an amanah (trust) on to you. Your body has rights over you so why not give it, its proper rights and treat it with goodness. If you want to feel good, eat the right foods and trust me, you’ll feel energetic, happy, positive all day long, insha’Allah! Eat that garbage and you are in for high and then a crash! Don’t take me the wrong way, I love burgers but I want my heart to feel great, so I eat it sometimes. My kids in the future, insha’Allah will hate me lol! Im not writing insha’Allah for them hating me, Im writing insha’Allah for having kids when I am married.

2. Tawakul (Trust) & Qadr (Decree)

Trust in who? Allah SWT! Whatever affairs are happening in your life, know it is from Allah SWT who has decreed this for you and believing in the decree without a doubt in your mind, without a thought of negativity puts all your worries to rest. The moment you start thinking of things going bad or negatively, you start to worry, you start to panic and where do those worries come from? The whispers of shaytaan. He makes you worry about your rizq (sustenance), he makes you worry about things out of your control, as it is says in Surah Al-Baqara: “Satan threatens you with poverty and orders you to immorality while Allah promises you forgiveness from him and bounty. And Allah is all encompassing and knowing” [2:268]

As long as you continue to make an effort in your life, remember that everything is the decree of Allah SWT. The progress you are making, nothing can go wrong . Only thing you’ll have everyday is a smile on your face because you’ve put your trust in the creator of the heavens and the earth.

1. Salah (Prayer)

This is my number 1 key to happiness. Now, I don’t know how anyone can live their life without salah. The moment you hear Allah-Hu Akbar (God Is The Greatest), no it doesn’t mean, someone is coming to kill you, it means Allah Is The Greatest, that is it. You fold your hands and stand attentively in the salah listening to the beautiful recitation of the Quran. I don’t know how many times I’ve stood in salah and my eyes would start watering, my heart would feel the words of the Quran. As soon as the imam recites something I understand, it’s really hard to hold back tears. Salah is vital organ for a believer. I can’t live without it and you shouldn’t either. No matter how much I may struggle at times, salah is something I will ALWAYS turn to in happiness and in sadness.

These are my 4 keys to happiness. Insha’Allah, you benefited from it and you learned something. JazakAllah khair for reading. Have any questions? Feel free to email me: mshabazz33@gmail.com