12 Ways To Make Your Heart Soft

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*This list not compiled by me. What I do a lot of times is when I listen to lectures, I write it all out so it’s easier for me to remember and for me to share with others, so they can benefit and share with others. So this is from a lecture by Sheikh Adnan Abdul Qadir in Arabic and translated by Muhammad Tim Humble.

If we know what causes hardness of the heart then what are the things that causes softness of the heart?

1. Tawheed Of Allah SWT 

You have your heart attached to Allah SWT alone. That you love Allah SWT with the most complete and perfect form of love and you love Him more than any of His creation. You lower yourself before Him completely. Allah SWT says: “Whoever Allah wishes to guide, He opens his chest to Islam and the one who He wishes to misguide he makes his chest constricted and compressed.” And Allah SWT says: “As for the one who Allah SWT expanded his chest to accept Islam He is upon a light from His lord.” So woe to those who are hard hearted from the lack of remembrance of Allah. Therefore the first thing is, you worship Allah SWT alone. That you have complete love for Him and complete humility and submission to Him.

2. Frequently Read The Quran 

You read and listen to the Quran and especially you listen to the Quran with a beautiful voice. Allah SWT says: “And whoever turns away from my remembrance, indeed he will have a hard life.” and Allah SWT says: “Allah sent down the best speech and a book which is similar to others.” The skin of those people who listen to it, tingles from the remembrance of Allah. You ask Allah SWT to make the Quran the spring of your heart and the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) used to make this du’aa (supplication). “O, Allah, I am your slave. The son of your slave. The son of your female slave. My forelock is in your hands. Your decree must apply to it. Your decree to me is just. I ask you by every name that is yours, that you have named yourself or sent down in one of your books or taught to one of your slaves or kept in the knowledge of the unseen with you, that you make the Quran the spring of my heart and the light of my chest and the thing that causes my sadness to go away. The cause of my sadness and worry to go away.” The difference between sadness is what has already passed and worries is of the future, of yet to come. For this reason, you ask Allah SWT to fill your heart with the Quran. Listen to the Quran being recited with a beautiful voice. Pray behind an imam who has a nice voice. At night before you goto sleep, listen to the Quran in a beautiful voice. When you are driving, listen to the Quran with a beautiful voice.

3. Doing A Lot Of Repentance 

Repent to Allah SWT for your sins because this has to cleanse your heart and do a lot of istigfar (seeking Allah’s forgiveness). As Noah (Peace Be Upon Him) said to his people: “Seek the repentance of your Lord, indeed He is oft forgiving. He will send down rain upon the sky time after time and He will make for you gardens. And He will make for you rivers.” What is the matter with you, that you don’t come back and repent to Allah? So by doing a lot of seeking forgiveness from Allah SWT, your heart will become soft again. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) in a single sitting would seek Allah’s forgiveness 70 times. This doesn’t take up any of your time. Say, O Allah, accept my repentance, O Allah, accept my repentance. If you say it 70 times it doesn’t even take you a minute. Say Allah Humma Firli 100 times, you will feel the sweetness of this in your heart.

4. Your Attachment Of Allah SWT

Look for the things that will make you love and make you attached to Allah SWT. Think about the attributes and names of Allah, until you love Him. Come to know who Allah is, so you love Him. Think about the blessings and bounties of Allah SWT, until you come to love Him so there is no doubt, that the more that you do so, the softer your heart will become.

5. A Great Deal Of Remembrance Of Allah

Allah SWT says: “Whoever turns away from my remembrance, he will have a very restricted life.” So try do your azkhar after the prayer, try to do them in the morning and evening. Try to do your zkhir before you goto sleep. Try to do your zkhir when you wake up from your sleep. You will find the sweetness of this in your heart.

6. Being Good To Others

Exactly of the opposite of how your heart becomes hard. Give a lot of charity to people, especially to those in need, the orphan person. Allah SWT mentions in Surah Al-Hadid: “Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth?” Then Allah SWT says: “And who is that will loan Allah a goodly loan?” So you feel like you’ve taken a difficulty away from your brother. For this reason the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) says in the hadith of Bukhari & Muslim. “The example of a stingy person who gives in charity, is like the example of two men. They are both wearing armour made out of metal. Every time the person who intends to give charity, this armour becomes a little wider until it becomes big and goes all over his clothes. Until it gets to a point, where he will be dragging his clothes on the floor. Every time the stingy person intends to give charity, there is no leeway in it, everything stays in its place and it stays constricted. It doesn’t open up for him.”

 7. Seek Knowledge 

Come close to Allah SWT by learning the Shariah (laws of Allah) and Allah SWT will come close to you. Allah SWT says in hadith Al-Qudsi: “Whoever remembers me to himself, I remember him to myself. And whoever remembers me in a gathering, I remember him in a gathering that is better than that. And whoever comes closer to me by a hand span, I come closer to him by a forearm. And whoever comes closer to me by a forearm, I come closer to him by a full hands length. And whoever comes to me walking, I come to him running.

 8. Doing A Lot Of Good Deeds

Do a lot of optional prayers. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) whenever he was upset with something, he would rush to the prayer. Do a lot of Qiyam Al Layl, prayer at night. Trying to make sure you always pray witr. Try to wake up before salatul fajr, 10 mins before, you can pray 2 rakat or even the witr prayer. Try to fast Mondays and Thursdays or even 1 day in the month if your not used to fasting all the time. Do a lot good deeds and obedience towards Allah SWT and Allah SWT will turn to you.

9. Read The Seerah (Biography) Of The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him), The Companions & The Ta’bein

Read about how they used to be and how their hearts were softened so you can see an example ahead of you and achieve it yourself. When you read about it, you’ll do it yourself because whoever reads about them, it’ll be like you are living amongst them.

10. Read About The Bounties & Pleasures Of Paradise & Punishment Of The Hell Fire

You can remind yourself and be attached to paradise and have a fear of the hell fire so yout heart can become soft, insha’Allah.

11. Take Negative Attributes Out Of Your Heart

Get away from having hatred towards people, being jealous, thinking evil of people. Get rid of this idea of wanting bad things happening to people or trying to cause people to trip up. Try to clean your heart to the best degree you can.

12. Abandon Speaking Unnecessarily 

Don’t say things you don’t need to say. Abandon listening things that there is no benefit. Leave the extra sleep you don’t need.

So by this you will have abandoned the things that have made your heart hard and put into practice that makes your heart soft. And all praise is to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

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10 Causes Of A Heedless/Hard Heart

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*This list not compiled by me. What I do a lot of times is when I listen to lectures, I write it all out so it’s easier for me to remember and for me to share with others, so they can benefit and share with others. So this is from a lecture by Sheikh Adnan Abdul Qadir in Arabic and translated by Muhammad Tim Humble.

1. Having a lot of sins and disobedience towards Allah SWT

Sins are the poison of the soul and they cause the heart to die and wither. Allah SWT says: “Do you think we are going to make those people who committed sins like those who believe and do good deeds equal? Are we going to make those equal, those who are alive and those who are dead? Evil is how they judge.” Tirmidhi narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “The believer when he commits a sin a black dot is placed upon his heart.” So if he repents and he stops it, this black dot is wiped away. If he persists in sin, continues to sin, these black dots increase on the heart until they cover the entire heart. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) described this as we read in the Quran, Allah SWT says: “By no means but on their hearts is the stain of the ill which they do!” For this reason Abdullah Mubarak (may Allah have mercy upon him) said: “I saw that sins cause the heart to die and could cause a person to be disgraced and leaving sins brings the heart to life and it is better for the soul to disobey itself, meaning, turn away from desires and leave it.” Allah SWT says: “Corruption has appeared on the land and sea because of what the hands of men have earned.” So sins corrupt the earth, the air, the seas, so do you not think that they don’t corrupt the hearts?

When Imam Shafi (may Allah have mercy upon him) sat as a student in front of Imam Malik (may Allah have mercy upon him) he said he was impressed with Imam Shafi and his depth of understanding. So Imam Malik said to Imam Shafi:“I see that Allah SWT has casted a light into your heart so do not extinguish it by the darkness of sins.” When one of us commits a sin, we feel a kind of a fear, a terror between you and Allah SWT. You feel there is a barrier between you and Allah SWT and your relationship is not what it was. No matter what you do to enjoy the pleasures of this life, it doesn’t go away. You sit with the most beloved of people to you and you make them laugh, they make you laugh but you still feel this feeling has not gone away. You even goto the most beautiful places to visit and you still feel this feeling has not gone away. You drink and eat the foods you like but you still feel this feeling, this barrier has not gone. You feel a darkness that is only in your heart. Even if you sit in the very peak of the day, you still feel this darkness has not gone away.

Abdullah Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “Good deeds are accompanied by a light in the heart and upon the face. It is also an expansion in provision, strength in the body and a love placed in the hearts of the people placed towards you. While bad deeds, evil deeds, have a darkness on the face and a darkness on the heart. It also causes weakness in the body, decrease in provisions and a hatred which is put in the hearts of people towards you.

My brothers, the one who spends his time in sin, has lost. His life is lost. He will say on the day of judgement, “Oh, how I wish I put something forward for this life to experience.” So this heart except for when it turns to Allah SWT and it seeks pleasure from loving Allah SWT. Whoever Allah SWT disgraces, there will be no one to honour him. It is going to get a point where a slave of Allah does a sin till he reaches a level of disgrace in the sight of Allah SWT. Do not be like those people who forgot Allah so Allah caused them to forget themselves. This description is saying, we love you, so you love us. I guess the best way to say this is, when you loved us we loved you and when you abandoned us, we abandoned you. You disobeyed us and we gave you a period of time on this earth and if you come back in this time to us, we will accept this repentance from you. And whoever does good deeds from a believer, we will make them alive and give them a wonderful life.

2. The Trial Of Women

From the greatest of the sins that causes hardness of the heart is the trial of women. For this reason, Allah SWT explains the trail of women in Surah An-Nur (The Light) and he mentions fornication. And he says, “Allah is the light of the heavens and the earth. The example of Allah’s light is like a lamp in which there is a niche” and then Allah SWT says or “is it like a darkness in the depths of the sea.” So being chased and falling into these problems leads to a darkness on the face and a hardness on the heart. One of the pious people used to always go and see Uthman Ibn Afwan (may Allah be pleased with him) when he was in charge of the muslims. He said, one day before I went to go see him, a young girl walked passed and I began to look at her and continued to follow her with my eyes until she went into her house then I went to the chief of the believers, Uthman Ibn Afwan and he looked at me and then lowered his head. He said “what is the matter with some of you that he commits fornication outside and he comes inside to see me?” The pious person said, “has anyone had revelation happen to them after the Messenger Of Allah? How has he come to know this?” And this was because there was a darkness that appeared on his face. So this is the second reason why the hearts become hard and that is the trial of women.

3. To see the sins as insignificant 

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said from a hadith from Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy upon him): “Be careful of those sins that you think that are insignificant for indeed they gather around a person till they destroy him.” From Al-Fuzail (may Allah have mercy upon him) said: “As little as the sins appear in your eyes is as great as it appears in the sight of Allah SWT.” The smaller you think of your sins in your eyes, the greater it is in the sight of Allah. One of the companions (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “You do actions in your eyes that are less insignificance than a hair. We used to consider them in the time of the Messenger of Allah as major sins.” So this is the third reason that leads hardness in the heart.

4. Not engaging with the laws/rules of the shariah and looking for excuses for yourself when committing sins. 

Allah SWT mentions in the story of Musa, in Surah Al-Baqara with regards to the calf that was ordered to be slaughtered by the children of Israel. When Musa (Peace Be Upon Him) said to his people: “Your Lord orders you to slaughter a cow.” They got into a long discussion with him so Allah SWT said after it: “Then your hearts became hard after this.” This is the 4th reason

5. To continue doing sins 

Allah SWT says: “We have sent messages to nations before you and we afflicted them with hardships and difficulties in hopes they would turn in repentance to Allah so only if the hardships had come from us, then only would they have done so but instead their hearts became hard and the shaytaan beautified and adorned what they used to do.” So this the 5th reason and that is to continue doing sins.

6. Not remembering Allah, not reciting the Quran and reflecting upon it

For this reason Allah SWT said: “Woe to those whose hearts are hard because they are not remembering Allah.”  and Allah SWT said: “Do you not see what Allah SWT sent down from the sky rain? And it has flowed into the streams of the earth and Allah takes out of it crops of many colours.” This ayah came and then after it another ayah (verse). Allah SWT sent down the best of speech and it has many meanings close together.

7. Being hard and harsh with people, not over looking their mistakes and demanding your rights all the time

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “May Allah have mercy upon a person who is easy going. Easy going when he sells, easy going when he buys, easy when he takes his rights.” We see a lot in many cases Allah SWT brings these two issues together. Between the issue of eman (faith) and being good to the orphans and the poor. And likewise between disbelief and not being good to the orphans and the poor. And for this reason Allah SWT says: “Do you see the one that belies their religion so this is the one who repels and pushes away the orphans and is not keen to feed the poor.” And when Allah SWT mentions the kufr (disbelievers) in Surah Mudassir. “What caused you to be put into the blazing fire? and they say, it because we did not use to pray and we did not feed the poor and we used to engage with people who were involved in vain and idol talk and we used to bely the day of judgement.” and likewise Allah SWT mentions in Surah Al-Balad: “What will make you know this difficulty you are trying to over come” and then He says “to free a slave or to give food to people on a day when they are hungry, an orphan that is close to you or a poor person and so this person is from those who are patient and believe and advise each other to do this.” So if you want your heart to be soft, sit with the poor and the orphans and wipe over their heads, visit the sick and this will make your heart soft. This is the 7th thing that leads to the hardness of the heart and this is a hardness when dealing with people. Let some of your rights go. Sit with the poor and needy.

8. A person who doesn’t look at their own faults and doesn’t look at what they have done

A person always tries to advise other people. He always tries to teach lessons to other people but he doesn’t come back and look at himself. The soul is in need of self reflection. Likewise the body is in need of food, the soul is in need of self reflection. The soul needs to be fed by the love of Allah SWT and likewise doing a lot of worship to Allah SWT. This is why the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) was attached to the revelation being revealed to him and Jibriel (Peace Be Upon Him) coming with the revelation, waiting for him, until the ayah (verse) came with him and he (Jibriel) would read them to him and teach him the Quran. So even the Messenger Of Allah was waiting for Jibriel so he could take this nutrition for the soul. Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said to one of the tabi’in and his name was Kaab. Umar said “Remind us Kaab.” And Imam Ahmad when he was older, even though he is the Imam of Ahlu-As Sunnah Wal-Jammah, they say he would take his quill, a pen and a paper and he was going to a certain place they would say, “Where are you going, Oh Abdullah.” He said “to attend a lesson.” They would reply, “You are going to a lesson when you are the imam of the people? And you are going to seek knowledge?” Imam Ahmad replied, “We will be in this state, with this pen and paper, until we reach the cemetery, until we are dead.”

9. Not being attached to Allah SWT or being attached to other than Allah SWT 

This is to make your heart busy with the remembrance of other than Allah. If you have filled a glass with some kind of liquid can you keep filling it after it is filled? You can’t fill it up. You can’t put anything else into it. If you have a container filled to the top with food, can you put more food in it? So if your heart is full other than the remembrance of Allah SWT then how is it possible for you to fill it with the remembrance of Allah SWT?

10. Eating food that is haram, wealth that is haram 

All the types of haram. Gambling, riba (interest) and other things. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “Perhaps a person would be in a severe state of poverty and covered in dust from trouble and would raise his hands to the sky and say My Lord! My Lord! My Lord!” He is very weak and in desperate need of Allah SWT and he is asking Allah SWT. Yet the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “The food he eats is haram, the drink that he drinks is haram, if he is being fed with haram then how is Allah going to answer him?” So if a persons food is haram and their wealth is haram, then how is it possible for their heart to be soft?

Men: “I Own You!” Think & Reflect

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*Authors Note* I’ve written an article titled “Women: I am Independent.” I knew when i was writing that article, quite a few people would be offended and in awe and others would be in support of it. I think it is time, I write an article “Men: I Own You!!” So here is the article I was supposed to write a while ago but had other things to write.

To the men who think that your wives can’t live without you, that they need your support, that have to bow down to you or else you’ll threaten them with divorce or you’ll use the hadith which the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “If the woman performs the five daily prayers, fast the month of Ramadan, maintains her chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter paradise through whichever door she chooses.” [Al-Musnad] How dare you use a hadith to take advantage of your wives? The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) also said: “The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.” [Tirmidhi] These hadiths are for you to think, reflect and understand, not there for you to take advantage of them. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) was the best to his family, example his wives. Many men come from a background where they have done absolutely nothing, while their mothers have taken care of them, cooked for them, cleaned for them, basically they’ve been spoiled or they’ve been told “this is not a job for you, this is a woman’s job.” So they’ve formed a belief, a mentality that only their wives are supposed to do these things, the house work. This is far from a culture issue and many people will say, this stems from cultures but it does not. It comes from how they are raised in a home.

Now, you’ll have a man say, “well, in Surah An-Nisa Allah SWT says, I am in the maintainer and protecter of the women, He didn’t say, I have to cook and clean!” This is where you come to the belief that you are only supposed to do as you are told and you are, masha’Allah, if you are maintaining and protecting your women but you also forget, that we as an ummah, men and women, follow also The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him). It was narrated by Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allah used to “sew his own clothes, mend his shoes and do whatever other work men do in their homes.” [Al-Musnad]. So how come you’ve come under the belief that your wives are only to do all the house work and them alone? Isn’t the Messenger of Allah an example for us? Allah SWT says in Surah An-Nisa: “O, Mankind, fear your Lord, who has created you from a single soul and created from it, its mate and from them both, many men and many women and fear Allah through whom you demand your mutual rights and indeed Allah is ever watchful over you.”

But instead what you do is either abuse your wife verbally or physically or never appreciate what is done. Just because you are the maintainer and protecter of your women, your wives, this does not mean you oppress them. Allah SWT did give the men rights over their wives but He also has given rights to the wives over their husband but you often forget these things and only abuse your power for your benefit.

Allah SWT has given you a responsibility for your wife, just as her parents have given you that responsibility and trust that you will love her, take care of her and do your best to keep her happy. Imagine one day, your daughter was to marry a man, you would have the same belief in mind that he is going to love her, take care of her and do his best to keep her happy, right? But instead he didn’t. How much would it hurt you to know that your daughter was being physically and verbally abused, to only be married as a slave for him? You would be hurt to the point where you would want to hurt this man! Allah SWT didn’t create women as slaves, so why speak and order your wife as a slave? Would you allow another man to do that your daughter, of course you wouldn’t. It would anger you to watch that take place or hear about it.

As men being the maintainers, this does not give you the right to abuse your power because you may be the bread winner in the home. None of the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them all) did that. Where did the Companions learn the treatment of the women from? From the book of Allah, the Quran and the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him). Allah SWT also says in Surah An-Nisa “live with them in kindness.” So where did the harsh treatment of women come from? Where did you believe it was right for you to undermine your wife efforts in the home and to not appreciate her? Why be unjust to your wife or your wives, when Allah SWT says also in Surah An-Nisa to “deal with them justly

Men, whatever you do in your home to your wife, your daughters may marry a man who may do the same to her and whatever you do your wife, your sons may do the same to their wives. You are a role model for your children, so shape them, mould them to the way the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) and his treatment to the ummah (nation) and his wives. You will be questioned for your treatment of your wives and how you also raised and took care of your family. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “Beware. every one of you is a shepherd and every one is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs). A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shall be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children). A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it (as to how he safeguarded his trust). Beware, every one of you is a guardian and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust. [Shahih Muslim] So be careful as you will questioned for what you do and their treatment and how you’ve helped raised your kids.

May Allah protect us from these bad manners, ill treatments and guide us to the way The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) treated the ummah, his family and his wives. Ameen.

Being A Muslim Is About…..

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Being a Muslim is about being positive to the upmost, so being a practicing Muslim it means to be positive. If you were to look at Islam in its different aspects, you would find it’s all about empowering the individual, to giving direction in life and to set you in a direction where he knows, no matter what happens he still got hope and he’s got a chance until his last breath. Therefore, since our breaths are numbered we have to make sure they are spent in the right way and every breath is taken in a way that only makes us grow and come closer to our Lord and to be people who contribute in society, who spread a message that truly everyone needs to know the reality of it because truly it comes with solutions in all aspects and specifically we are talking about being positive.

One thing I want to share, The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “If the hour occurs, while in the hand of one of you holds a small plant, let him plant it.” You might ask the question, what is the reason behind that? I’ll tell you cause your duty is to work till the last set and for you is to do and upon Allah is the results but it is about leading hearts to grow. It’s about causing minds to overcome obstacles, to see hope in the midst of darkness. To be that person who just simply inspires, that is what a leader is. A leader is someone who can give that positive impression and look and be the source for that power, for others around them.

I’ll tell you one thing, The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) was the best of leaders and I say this bluntly and openly. I don’t say this with a hype, I say this while believing in him. Why? Because he was a man that did not lead bodies but led hearts and minds to be, the best of people even in the midst of hardships. This is what makes him so special till this day and we say, Alhumdulilah (Thanks To Allah) that we have such a role model that we can follow and we can take him as an example. This model belief that Islam teaches, except that is there to empower you. All beliefs that Islam comes with, is to purify your heart and your mind from all that which is impure and also to give you the strength to be someone who can continue a journey that its end is with Allah.

I like one of the beautiful examples from the Prophets. I recall this was the Prophet Hud (Peace Be Upon Him), when he was someone who turned to Allah and he put his trust in Allah and he made his du’aa. It didn’t matter anymore how many enemies he had. It didn’t matter anymore where he was. He told his enemies that disliked him and hurt him, he tells them bluntly and straight up, “plot against me all of you and don’t give me any time. I have put my trust in my Lord and your Lord” at the end of the day, you cannot hurt me, you cannot do nothing, you cannot affect me with nothing, if it wasn’t for my Lord allowing it. Just take into consideration, that my Lord will not allow it except to increase me in status.

As one of them said, when you find yourself going down because of the pressures that you are faced with and people who don’t want to bring you up. We have people like that who just want to destroy you and they don’t want to see a flourishing nation, you know? They don’t like seeing that at times, unfortunately. I’ll tell you one thing. I like what was said. He said when they push you down, remember the best place to go in, is all the way down in prostration to Allah, ask Him and come back up because they want to bring you down.

By: Sheikh Mustapha Al Majzoub martyred in Syria on the blessed day of Eid [Sunday 20th August 2012]. Allah give him the highest ranks in Jannah. Ameen.

When Do I Know When I Am Ready To Get Married?

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Asalamwalikum (Peace Be Upon You). Many people ask themselves or people the question, “When do I know if I am ready to get married?” The question you have to ask yourself is, why are you pursuing marriage? You have friends that have just gotten married and you are caught in the hype? You are genuinely looking to get married? You are fascinated by marriage? There are a lot of reasons why people intend to get married. Your intention has to be right whether you are young or old. A lot of times, especially with young people, they think they are ready for marriage but they are not and it causes a lot heart ache in the long run and it may or may not affect you psychologically for the next person who may have pure intentions for marriage.

1. Concentrate on yourself and correct your intention. Make sure it is what you want and not just because there are summer weddings you’ve attended or because your friends are getting married and you think you are ready too. We attend weddings and we become fascinated by all the things that happen. We see two couples happy, two families happy and everyone is having a great time. We see the happiness in the face of the couple and it is what we desire, until the feeling wears off. We believe we are ready for marriage but a lot of times, our intention is not correct. We simply have the desire to get married because others are. Another reason is because we have several problems in our lives. Whether it has to do with our eman (faith), not praying salah, emotional and psychological problems and getting married won’t a lot of times solve your issues. You are only looking to get married to solve the issues and share your burden. That is not to say, being married you aren’t allow to share the burden with your spouse but this should not the be sole reason why you are pursuing marriage. Your intention has to be right, you want to get married for the correct reasons.

2. Find someone who is a practicing Muslim and you should at least be practicing to. Im not talking about the companions type of practicing because I highly doubt they exist but someone who is at least practicing because they will be a role model for your children. They’ll pray as he prays and they’ll pray she prays and you two can learn from each other. Your spouse completes half of your religion and what is a better way to complete it by finding someone whom also shares the vision of jannah (heaven)? Whom will help you strive to the straight path? Whom will correct your aqeeda (belief) or fine tune it, if there are things you are doing which you thought was a Sunnah or an act of worship wasn’t. You want your spouse to correct these things because you want to save each other from the hellfire and meet each other in jannah.

3. If you feel and know you are ready, your intention is correct, ask friends if they know someone who they think is compatible for you or even your family. Compatibility is extremely important, not just in an Islamic sense but in ways you get along with each other. Things you dislike and like. You DO NOT want a clone of you. You two have to have chemistry. If you two cannot get along, then leave it alone. They may be extremely good looking or have good manners but if there is nothing there which you find or feel, shut the door because this is now closed. Do not go and try to fix this person to your desires because it won’t work. You are making a very bad move and it’ll hurt you in the long run. People will come as they are and improve, you can either accept it or reject it, don’t be delusional.

The reason why you go to your friends and your family it’s because they know your character, so they have seen every side of you. If they do know someone then you can give that a try but make sure, you two aren’t alone because it leads to several things which you think you are prepared for in your mind but you are not when it gets to that point. Do your BEST to keep it halal. It is hard but you can do it and it is do able.

Now the problem with telling your family that you are looking to get married, it can become an issue. I know with the issues that happen within a lot of homes, we are not as close as we want to be with our parents and instead, we are close to our friends. Our parents have put this kind of fear or kind of hesitation whenever we feel like talking to them about these issues. In order to break these barriers, you must take the first step into breaking them and talking about it. You have to over come your fears. Many parents carry an old age tradition or mentality that is either rough or rugged, that means certain issues cannot be talked about it. Break that barrier. Your parents are everything in your life, so they deserve to be told. It shouldn’t be as if you’ve made a decision and you bring the individual over and your parents are blowing a fuse because you are saying “Hey, mom, dad, I want you to meet a guy/girl I wan to marry, here she/he is, SURPRISE!” I wouldn’t be surprised if you got a smack upside your head, you don’t want that lol. I know parents can be tough to speak to. They can be hard to crack but be patient with them and be courageous. In order to have a relationship with your parents, it must start with you. So break that barrier and speak to them.

4. Know what you are looking for when it comes to a spouse and please don’t be superficial. I think the sole reason why people remain single for a very long time is because they are looking for a superficial, imaginary spouse that will come riding a horse or a luxury car and you’ll be rescued or she will drop a glass slipper and you’ll pursue her. C’mon people, these things aren’t real lol… You have to be realistic and not live in your imagination. Good character, good habits, good manners, goals, ambitions, how they treat their friends and family, how often they pray. All these things have to come into consideration. Being millionaires and having degrees does not make up for the lack of character, lack of eman and respect they’ll give to you in marriage. Money and degrees does not give you a successful marriage but a person who is open minded, caring, loving, hard working, willing to sacrifice and compromise for you will, insha’Allah (if Allah wishes).

5. If you think both of you are right for each other, meaning you’ve both agreed to take the next step and that is to pursue marriage, then pray ishtikhara, it is the guidance salah. You will read a lot of misconceptions about ishtikhara and things that will happen. You will not get a dream. You will not get a dream, I have to write it twice because you don’t know how many times I hear people tell me, “I had a dream!” No, Martin had a dream, you are having an I don’t know what. That is by far the biggest misconception about Ishtikhara is if the person is right or wrong for you, you’ll see a dream with certain colours or that you’ll see a delicious ice cream sandwich that means, they are right for you and this is incorrect. The correct way of knowing if that person is right for you, is you will get a feeling or things will happen where you’ll see things are getting tough for the marriage to take place or things will get easier and the marriage is happening and everyone is happy.

6. Finally this is the most important aspect in the search of marriage and that is being happy with the decree of Allah and patience. The person you will end up marrying is already written for you. So it may not be this person, it may be another or another or another, so be patient in your search. Do not drown yourself in depression or sadness because it did not happen, as there is wisdom behind this. Perhaps if it did happen and they led you to the hellfire because of their actions or they hurt you or abused you or whatever it may be. There are women that verbally and physically abuse their husband and there are men which also do the same thing to their wives, so be happy with the decree of Allah SWT.

And Allah knows best.

If you have any questions, need advice, just email me and I’ll do my best to reply with the best possible advice.

mshabazz33@gmail.com

Also read: https://mshabazz33.wordpress.com/2016/06/21/the-importance-of-marrying-a-practicing-muslim/

Lessons From Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) Marriage Proposal

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Assalamwalikum (peace be upon you). Today someone had asked me “should a woman approach a man for marriage? and if yes or no, what were my thoughts in regards to this?” A lot of women have become accustomed to the traditional way of being approached for marriage, a man should be a man and out right ask her if he is interested in her. Now, if we were to think what tradition this is a lot of us would say, its been the norm since probably the beginning of time.

Lets go back into Islamic history shall we? For those that know about Islam will know that The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) was asked by Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) for marriage. Not exactly in a direct, blunt way but she had sent Nafisa, her servant, her worker to ask The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) if he was married and if not, why not? Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) had hired the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) as a worker and she was extremely impressed with his character and how he worked. She had trusted him with the caravan of goods going back to several places for deliveries. Eventually, she had saw a lot of good characteristics in him and had sent Nafisa to ask if he would want to marry Khadija. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) was thrown off by the approach because a woman, that is in the status of Khadija, wealthy, owned her own business, had turned down several wealthy and noble men, asking me for marriage? He was as confused as any man would be. He did accept and they got married. She is the first woman to accept Islam and one of the mothers of the believers.

Today when women see a good a man or a good practicing muslim and they are like “WOW! Masha’Allah! That is the type of man I want! He is the type of man I want that will help raise a family.” But, of course there is a but. What did you expect? That women just run up to the men and say, “Oh brother, will you marry me?” Of course not. That is the first thing you do not want to do because firstly, it will throw the man completely off. In his mind he is thinking, “who is this crazy woman, just approaching me out of the blue and asking me to marry her? What type of drugs is she on?” Then you’ll realize, “well I just got rejected and now he thinks I am crazy and I’ll NEVER get a chance anymore!” Then you will start crying, tell all your friends how horrible you feel and you’ll probably update your Facebook or Tweet about it in a discrete way, where only people you told know what happened.

Your approach is always going to be everything. When you go to a job interview, do you go to the interviewer and say “GIVE ME THE JOB! I AM QUALIFIED! GIVE ME! GIVE ME! GIVE ME! I BEG YOU! HIRE ME!” No, you don’t because this sounds extremely desperate and again, crazy! You don’t do any of that nor do you even think that way. You dress up nicely, look at yourself in the mirror, think to yourself how are you going to impress the interviewer and how are you going to convince them to hire you. You have all these scenarios in your head playing and telling you say this and smile like this and Insha’Allah (If Allah Wishes), you will get the job.

Your approach will either give you that opportunity for the job that is in place or it won’t, just as your approach to the husband to be, will either give you an opportunity for him to hear you out or not. Women expect the man to do the approaching, to do the talking, to be romantic in marriage, while she won’t possibly do any of it. Im not saying, there aren’t ANY women that aren’t romantic or approach men, I am sure there are but … yeah but means, you probably haven’t heard of any either and if you have, it is quite rare these days. Women need to think outside of the box and not fear rejection, just as men don’t need to fear rejection. In the approach of Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) she did what she had intended to and approached the situation in a respectable manner. She had sent Nafisa out to ask questions to the Messenger Of Allah which had broken the ice. The approach wasn’t direct “Will you marry Khadija?” No, she had asked him several questions. “Why aren’t you married?” and asked him “If there was a woman who was noble, had beauty and wealth, would you be interested?” This entered his mind and he thought about it, confused at first because he didn’t have anything but he accepted. He was her employee, she knew about him and he knew about her.

If your approach is direct, blunt, more than likely, you will scare the man away. You want to spark the curiosity of the man. “Why is she interested in me? What does she want, that I have?” You want him to think about all this and make him curious, spark a bit of interest in you. “Will you marry me!” out right, will scare him but getting someone to say “you know what, I know this sister who is interested in you, her name is Salma, might want to give her a chance if you are looking to get married.” Now if the man is seriously looking to get married, he will consider her and may even ask the person who had introduced Salma about her and what her goals are, ambitions, can she cook and many other things which he wants in a woman. If the man had never seen her, he will obviously want to see if there is a sense of attraction because no man or woman, wants to marry someone whom they are not physically attracted to and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Im not saying, it will work but I am saying, there is room for rejection and you have to handle it, just as you have handled not being hired for jobs you’ve applied for or interviewed for.

You can’t sit there all your life and expect a man to approach you, while you probably stare at this man every single day or whatever it is you do, hopefully, it is not stalking him. You want to set the right tone and at least approach him through someone who may know him. This way, it opens the door of trust and it opens the door for curiosity. Some men have the belief that if a woman approaches him directly, she is desperate and he will probably reject her because he didn’t get to do it first even though she is attractive and he may have been interested in her. It’s an ego thing with men. Not all men but some. There are lessons in Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) approach and how the comfort level between Khadija & The Messenger Of Allah was already set. Allah SWT had already planned this. If the person feels there is no comfort in what is going on, it won’t go anywhere. Remember, your approach is EVERYTHING. Break the ice through someone that knows him, get to know him in a halal way, I did say halal, so you can’t say, this brother said, I can do whatever I want. You may be rejected or you two may end up getting married but remember, you can’t sit there all your life. That man you are interested in probably doesn’t even know you are interested in him because you are too much of a scardy cat, sitting there basing all your assumptions on something you’ve never experienced.

Be like Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her), courageous, brave, comforting, strong and willing to take the first step and control the situation, instead of assuming or fearing rejection. Allah knows best what will happen. Pray ishtikhara (guidance prayer) and Insha’Allah, it’ll happen.

Desires Over What Has Been Established

Asalamwalikum, it is time to for me to start my fast but I have a few things on my mind before I go and get something to eat. Over the past couple of days, I’ve been reading other peoples blogs on Islam and I can say, I was impressed with quite a lot of them and alhumdulilah (thanks to Allah) they have been blessed to tap into people. While the others I have read were not so good and this is not because I think I am a superior writer or better than others, nor am I trying to humble myself for others because the truth of the matter is, I am just an average writer sharing my experiences and questions I get from people.

The reason why I say the others I have read were not so good was because they’ve taken the Quran, verses from the Quran and Hadiths and taking them completely out of context. This itself is misleading to the person who is trying to learn about Islam and secondly I feel it is disrespectful to the scholars who have strived for years, their entire lives to put things into perspective for us and for some people or people to take the Quran & Hadith within their own interpretation and twist it to their own desires is dangerous.

There is nothing wrong with pondering over the Quran nor is there anything wrong with attempting to interpret it yourself because Allah says several times in the Quran for us to either ponder over the verses or asks us to think of these verses which have been revealed. In Surah Saad, Surah Muhammad, Surah Ar-Rahman, Surah Yusuf and many others. It becomes a problem when you attempt to teach others the verses based on your own understanding, while the scholars themselves have put it according to the Sunnah of the Messenger Of Allah and companions and many others, while you put it according to your own desires and according to your own benefit.

A lot of times when someone begins to tell us something, we directly assume what they are trying to say, instead of listening and asking them to clarify what they are saying. There are many verses in the Quran & things from the Hadith, which seem pretty straight forward but the scholars have went into depth and explained these things which could take up to an hour to explain and this is only a few verses. While people sit there and assume these verses mean this, while it means something completely different. Totally the opposite of what has already been established in the Sunnah and what has already been agreed upon by the scholars themselves and this is not just one or a handful of scholars but a majority.

There also people whom taken the lives of scholars themselves and the hardships they’ve went through and were unable to fulfill a sunnah based on their circumstances at the time and have convinced themselves, if such and such scholar was able to avoid a Sunnah, which seems a major part of Islam, then I am too. First of all, you aren’t a scholar, nor are the hardships or trials you’ve went through compared to what they’ve been through. Nor have you put in the time and effort they’ve put into Islam explaining hadiths, making the religion of Islam easier for us to comprehend. For example, people say if Sheikh Ul-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy upon him) didn’t get married and it seems to be a sunnah and half of my religion, then I don’t either. It has been explained by those who have studied the history of Ibn Taymiyah, he was imprisoned for years of his life and even when released, he was imprisoned again. Could he have gotten married in that time? Allah knows best because he is the best of planners. They also say the same about Imam An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy upon him) who has great works in hadith and also responsible for putting together and categorizing Shahih Muslim which is one of the two most authentic books of hadith.

Your life may be miserable. You may have been in relationships where your heart has been torn apart and your trust meter is at an all time low but this does not give you an excuse to not fulfill half of your religion because people, scholars that are above you didn’t. Completely two different circumstances and different scenarios. Allah knows best about your trials but don’t put off a sunnah because you’ve been hurt or because you no longer trust people the way you used to. Put your trust in Allah and go from there.

The Quran & Hadith are very tough subjects and these scholars didn’t just pick up the Quran & Hadith in one night and come to conclusions as to why Allah said this and why The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said this. It has taken them years and the studies in these things are not easy so for us, even including myself, to take a verse or a hadith and put into my own words without fully understanding what the scholars have agreed upon is ignorance and misguidance. The worse is to take the verses and hadiths and to twist them to your own desires because Islam won’t allow certain things which seems to be the norm. You have to understand, Islam is perfect, the religion of Islam has been perfected. Allah SWT says: This day I have perfected your religion for you, completed my favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islaam as your religion.  [Surah Al-Maa’ida Verse 3] Also through the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him). So for us to come and add new things to the religion or fulfill our desires because our of wants and needs is wrong.

Abdullah Ibn Umar & Aisha (my Allah be pleased with them) & The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings be Upon Him) warned against the newly invented matters and also warned against things that were forbidden and then made halal.

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “I warn you of the newly invented-matters (in the religion), and every newly-invented matter is an innovation, and every innovation is misguidance, and every misguidance is in Hellfire.” [an-Nisaa’ee]

Abdullah Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: Every innovation is misguidance, even if the people regard it as good.“[ad- Daarimee]

Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: “whoever invents an act of worship, will have it rejected.” [Shahih Muslim]

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “Among my ummah there will certainly be people who permit zinaa (fornication), silk, alcohol and musical instruments” [Shahih Al-Bukhari]

So be careful of what you are doing and how you are interpreting the hadiths and the verses of the Quran. You may be allowing something which has been established as haram and you may be making it halal. Whatever has already been established, has been established and there is nothing that can be said or you can go around it. Learn from those who are much more knowledgable than you in the religion of Islam or whatever it maybe. There are plenty of Qurans which come from commentary and I’m sure there are ones from the classical scholars such as Ibn Kathir (may Allah have mercy upon him) and plenty others. Learn the religion from those who are on the correct aqeeda (belief) and those who are away from shirk (partners with Allah) and bidah (innovation)

And Allah knows best.

Why I Decided To Stop Listening To Music

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* Authors Note – There are several proofs why music is haram. A lot of people seem to take Ibn Hazm (may Allah have mercy upon him) proof on making it permissible but the scholars have said, it is haram. Even The Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) said, there will be a day where several things people will make them halal and one of them was music. One of the sites I like to use for finding answers for Islam is http://www.islamqa.com .. You can find and research the proofs yourself.

Assalamwalikum (Peace Be Upon You). As I sit here in this extremely hot day in Toronto, Ive been asked quite a lot of times, “why did you stop listening to music and how?” The explanation of someone who does something may sound simple but the struggle as we all know is the hardest part. A majority of us have made music a huge part of our lives. A lot of us wake up to our alarm clocks which are now their favourite songs. Many of us occupy ourselves in our drives or rides to work or wherever we are going with a CD or an iPod filled with music. Music has become such a huge part in our lives that many people cannot live without music.

A lot of times I’ve come across asking myself this question. “If I was to die in a state of doing something which is haram (forbidden) would I want to be raised that way, in front of Allah SWT?” This question would constantly pop up in my head as I would drive to work in the early morning hours or coming back from work. You know the usual, driving in your car, windows down, blasting your music. It was the way to drive, no matter where you are going. I guess we’ve been influenced so much that we think that this is by far the most “coolest” way to drive. If we had someone beside us and they were listening to something of a different genre, we would laugh in our heads. A lot of us are driving dancing, bobbing our head, knowing the lyrics to the songs but again, the question would pop up in my head “do I want to die in this state, reciting lyrics?

Eventually, the more I pondered over the songs I listened to, the more I’d begin to understand. Now, someone may say “music is not the problem, it is you, who has become weak and being influenced by music, Im still normal listening to it!” If you are a non-muslim, that question may fly but if you are a Muslim, that question doesn’t fly. How many times are standing in salah through out the day, whether in congregation or alone and you are doing your best to recite Surah Al-Fatiha which just rolls off the tongue because we’ve grown up reciting it and then the next Surah you are reciting or action attempting to do, there are those lyrics stuck in your head. Or you are standing in salah while the imam is reciting and those lyrics are stuck in your head. You are doing your best to concentrate in your salah and that song you’ve had on repeat is there. It is just becomes hard because the shaytaan is doing his best reminding of things to do through out the day and what you should have done and your missed opportunities and then there are also the lyrics which just dribble in your head.

The music did not just only affect my salah but it affected my speech. Everyone can relate to the speech in the music, as it is profanity or “OMG! HE SAID A BAD WORD!” which we have become accustomed to as it has become the norm now-a-days. It was just not only the profanity, the bad words but how we would speak to one another. Anyone who says, music has not influenced my life in a negative way is down right in denial. You can tell from the way they speak and the way they speak to others and the way they speak about others. If it is about a woman it’s usually the “B” word or hoe or slut or if it is about a male its usually that n-word this and that n-word that. Some people have no problem using these words calling out others but would a brother call his mother, sister or cousin the “B” word or hoe or slut? Obviously not but we easily refer to others who we have no connection with. Many people will say “I don’t mean it in that way” but even then, you are making excuses for your lack of manners. Allah SWT says about saying good and not saying things which are bad, ill, profanity,  in Surah Al-Ahzaab: “O, you who believe! Fear Allah and speak a word that is true and He will correct your deeds and forgive your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger has indeed achieved a great success.” and Allah SWT also says says Surah Al-Mu’minun (The Believers): “And they who turn away from ill speech.” “Ill speech” is all we usually get 75% of the time in the music we listen to now-a-days, so if you say you are are not even affected by what you are listening to or how you speak to others then you are in denial.

Music not only affects your speech but how you act. I won’t say it makes people do anything but it definitely influences people to have different ambitions in life. Achieving things by haram means. In music, most rappers are rapping about the street life and how they make money selling drugs and having a similar lifestyle with cash, clothes and cars. So the youth either see this in the videos or what they hear and they go out and attempt to live in those means. This not only affects their eman (faith) but it also affects the community and if they get caught, it affects them getting a job which would provide for them in a halal way, that itself becomes a struggle.

After years of listening to music and years of struggling to keep away from music, its been years since I stopped listening to music, Alhumdulilah. First and foremost, I don’t want to die reciting lyrics or listening to music but I want to die in a state of eman (faith) as a believer, and die raised in the best manner. So when I am raised in front of my creator, Allah SWT, I will be raised in the best state possible. Secondly, It was affecting my salah. Constant reminders of the songs I’d listen to through the day or songs I’d have on repeat. After I gave up music, Alhumdulilah, I can concentrate better in salah, as there is not a single song stuck in my head. I just decided one day after pondering over these thoughts I’ve shared with you, Ill give it up for good. I had stacks of CDs, not bootleg but ones I purchased and decided to break them all and throw them out. The first thought that entered my mind was don’t break them, sell them and make money off of them but then I thought to myself, I’d only be giving up my haram and giving it to someone else to be involved in haram, so I’d get sins. This was obviously the whisper of shaytaan telling me make money but Alhumdulilah, I did not. Obviously, I am not perfect, I do commit errors and I do sin, just as we all do and I do my best to make my character to the best of my abilities and my best to live according to the Sunnah Of the Messenger Of Allah (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him).

So this is was my struggle, my experience, my escape from music and how it affected me and how it no longer affects me in any type of way. I know many people struggle with music, just as I have struggled over the years and it is definitely hard to give it up but you have to ask yourself the same questions I asked myself. You have to listen to your speech and how you speak to others, how you act, what are your ambitions and what made you have those ambitions? You can be music free and you can be a better believer. If you are able to give up so many things in your life because you know it has affected you and it may be whatever your struggles were, why can you not do the same with music when you know its affecting your eman? It’s affecting your salah and your connection with Allah and the people around you and it being haram (foridden).

May Allah SWT make it easy for you.

Being Hopeful & Positive

A box only stays empty, when you allow it to stay empty. The box will not fill itself up, unless you open it up and put things inside. Never allow the negativity in your life to be apart of your livelihood everyday or as long as possible. Things change as long as you make it possible. Having a negative thought, will only bring negativity in your life and will not change your way of thinking or your mood. Sometimes people can’t accept the decree of Allah, so they drag themselves into this hole of negativity believing it is only bad and bad is it. Allah does say in the Qur’an, in Surah Al-Baqarah: “But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not.” This should empower the believer, the Muslim or Non Muslim, that Allah knows and whatever is decreed by Allah will happen and it will only for the good of humanity and only which is to be good for you. Allah does not want a believer to be in hardship or to struggle but only we perceive these things as bad.

Open the box with hopefulness, with positivity, with such belief that only good can come out of it and only good will prevail and whatever is to happen, will be good. Only to test my eman (faith) as a believer. Am I to go closer to Allah or to go further away? Be positive and go closer to Allah, as the means for everything in our lives, that happen, is to bring us closer to Allah, to worship Him alone. Love can be given but it depends how much of that love and understanding that person has of Qur’an and the Sunnah. How to love according to the Qur’an and how to love according to the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) and how he treated not just his wives but the people around him at the time.

Hold onto the positive in your life, as it will help you climb in the difficult stages in life. A negative thought will only drag you down. You are as powerful as you allow your mind to be. So don’t believe you are not powerful. That you are not able to to fulfill that emptiness or that empty box. Be hopeful and smile. The decree of Allah is always going to be good. Always, always, think positive.

The Decree Of Allah SWT & Being Positive!

All and everything is the qadr (decree) of Allah. No but or if I had done this or done that. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon) said: “Seek the help of Allah and do not succumb to feebleness. An when an affliction strikes you, say ‘Allah has decreed this, and He does as He wills.’ Do not say, ‘Had I done this or that, this or that would have happened’, because ‘if’ opens the door wide for the work of Ash-Shaytan.” – [Shahih Muslim] Always turn to Allah and continuously ask for whatever it is you want. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “The closest that a servant is to his Lord is when he is in prostration.” [Shahih Muslim] So ask Allah as when you are closest to Him in sujood. If it goes your way, it was meant to be no matter what. Nothing would have changed it because that is the decree of Allah and if it didn’t go your way, it won’t and nothing won’t change it either because that is the decree of Allah also.

Maybe what you wanted to happen didn’t and saved you from a calamity or hardship. Be thankful for now. Others may want the position you have now and you aren’t thankful and others have less and are thankful. Alhumdulilah (Thanks to Allah) for everything. Be happy!! Always do what is best and is permissible. InshaAllah… Allah knows best.