It is currently marriage season and many of you know someone within your family or friends getting hitched. It is also probably giving you the urge to find someone as well, who will fulfill half of your deen (religion). We all have had the interventions with our parents whom seem to have found the right prospect for you. You hear he has a good job over and over again. If it’s a female, she can cook and how beautiful she is constantly and they’ll do their best to persuade you to marry them. There is more to marriage than just a good job and someone who can cook. Allah is Ar-Razzaq (the provider) and it is He whom will provide you with the rizq to make things easy for you financially.
As Muslims, our end goal is to meet Allah Subhana wata’ala with good deeds that will benefit us, but what is more beautiful is taking that certain someone along with you on that journey. Allah subhana wata’ala has created us in pairs and each of us has been paired, insha’Allah, with the right individual. As Allah subhana wata’ala says Surah Ar-Rum: “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.” Affection is what we long for and also finding tranquility. We seek calmness in that individual we will spend the rest of our lives with insha’Allah.
We long for a marriage like the Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) and his wives. How beautiful it is. But, after all the dreaming, we seem to forget to practice it ourselves. Finding a practicing Muslim goes out the window because of the money they make or how beautiful or handsome they are. We think “it’s okay. They will change.” Undermining all the other issues that may come with it because we forget the importance of marrying a practicing Muslim. We look directly at the outer image we are presented with and fall in love directly with that.
In many instances, those who look the part, are likely not acting the part. Meaning, people are so easily fooled because that brother has a beard and wears a thobe, so he must be practicing. Or that sister is wearing hijab and an abaya, so she must be practicing too. We definitely all struggle with practicing Islam. Some people are so good at hiding the fact that they don’t pray at all and end up marrying individuals that are practicing and who do pray. But because of this false image they’ve presented themselves with, we are yet again, fooled. Islamically, an individual who doesn’t pray is a kaffir (disbeliever). The Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) said: “The difference between a believer and disbeliever is salaah.” [Abu Dawud] The scholars in Islam have also said, being married to an individual who doesn’t pray at all, the marriage becomes invalid. This is how serious it is!
When looking for a practicing Muslim, it is extremely important to look past the image you are presented with and ask questions based around Islam. Also, ask people around the community they are in to get an outsiders opinion. You will probably not marry a scholar or a student of knowledge but if that individual is practicing they’ll know the three categories of tawheed. They’ll know certain verses of the Qur’an. They’ll know certain ahaadith. They’ll know the basics and fundamentals of Islam. A practicing Muslim develops a habit of wanting to learn to improve themselves and follow the correct aqeeda (beliefs) and footsteps of Prophet Muhamamd (peace & blessings be upon him). They’ll have a zeal for knowledge. A practicing Muslim shows good character, good manners, and is not miserly. They know how important the hereafter is, so the decisions they make will be reflected off of whether or not it would please Allah subhana wata’ala. Decisions other individuals make that are displeasing to Allah should not be used as an excuse to follow along.
My brothers and sisters in Islam, a practicing spouse is your ticket to heaven or hell. You eventually develop the habits of the individual you spend majority of your time with. If they don’t pray, more than likely, you’ll start to develop that habit. If they are involved in haraam (forbidden), more than likely you’ll end up being persuaded into thinking it’s okay. This is why it is so important that the individual you marry IS a practicing Muslim already. Some people say, “well, I’ll marry so and so right now and then they’ll end up practicing, Allah will guide them.” The question was asked to Sheikh Ibn Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy upon him) about an individual changing for the better after marriage in which he responded:
“We are not entrusted with what will happen in the future. As for the future, we don’t know about it. It may be that you marry them while desiring Allah will guide them into your hands, however, it may be that they may change your state to what they are upon!.”
It is definitely a scary thought.
When you do consider marriage proposals, look at them for not solely what they are wearing but how are they practicing their Islam? Are they in tune with the commandments of Allah? If they are not, how do you expect them to treat you? Do they commit shirk? Are they following any innovations? A believing Muslim, a practicing Muslim, takes what they have learned from the Qur’an and Sunnah and lives it, they become it, they speak it and walk with it. The way they treat others is based on the Qur’an and Sunnah. Your marriage will either flourish or diminish. You may even have a successful marriage after all, even if you are not practicing but, you will not be successful with Allah subhana wata’ala. Do not get the false perception that if you have lots of money and your marriage is successful but you don’t pray, Allah is happy with you, when it is not true. How can Allah subhana wata’ala be happy with you, if you fail to show appreciation and follow a pillar of Islam?
Remember, my brothers and sisters in Islam, your hereafter is your main goal. If you fail to show it importance, especially during the selection of your spouse, you will not succeed in front of Allah subhana wata’ala because you failed to prepare. Marrying a practicing Muslim is not a joke and it is not something that can happen after you decide to marry. Again, you are not promised or guaranteed they may even change. Wanting change begins with the progress you put forth now. Look for the individual who is working towards the hereafter and is goal driven. Who shows it importance by learning about it from the correct avenues. Who establishes their salaah, pays their zakaat if it’s in their means to, gives charity, and their manners and characteristics are from the beautiful ahaadith. The lifestyle of the Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) and his companions should be reflected off of this person. If you do this, insha’Allah, you will be successful.
May Allah subhana wata’ala grant us all righteous spouses.
Many of us grew up listening to music. It is the norm in society. If you didn’t listen to it, you were looked at as weird. Some people call it their life. Some people can’t live without it. It needs to be in their ear wherever they go. You can’t even avoid it in the shopping malls because each store you enter, there is music playing to keep us from being “bored” with just walking around. Music has become such a fundamental part of our lives, we feel we can’t exist without it. But, what happens when music itself is affecting your salaah? Your connection with Allah subhana wata’ala? You stand in front of your prayer mat, raising your hands to say Allah Hu Akbar (Allah is the greatest) then within a few seconds, your favourite song that you’ve had on repeat several times this past week keeps popping up. While you are reciting the fatiha, that song keeps popping up in your head. You seem frustrated, aggravated and just wanted to fulfill your obligation to Allah subhana wata’ala without any interruptions but it can’t be done with peace, happiness and calmness. Want to know why?
You are addicted! You can’t let it go!
You want a connection with Allah subhana wata’ala. You want to be at peace while praying but you’ve allowed music to control your life. Your addiction doesn’t allow you to have the connection you need to feel at peace during and after praying.
I’ve had a music addiction, just like you. I took it every where I went. I wouldn’t let it go. I let it be a part of my life! I thought it was everything I was missing in my life. I wanted to be a rapper, that’s how much I loved music. But whenever I stood to pray salaah, to speak to Allah subhana wata’ala, I couldn’t do it properly because the songs that were on repeat, were overpowering the connection. I would finish salaah unsatisfied, moody and within a few minutes, I’d go back to listening to those songs.
Music addiction is real and it is something dangerous as Muslims. I know many people will tell you that music is not haraam and if the songs have meaning, then it is good for you but wallahi, it is not. Only the people of desires, people who refuse to follow the truth will say that. The Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) said: “Among my ummah (nation) there will certainly be people who permit zinaa, silk, alcohol and musical instruments. [Bukhari] He also said in another hadith, music grows hypocrisy in the heart[Bayhaqi]. Ask yourself, really and truly, has music been of any benefit to you Islamically? We all know, music benefits you in the dunya, in the world because it can help us relate to things but Islamically, has it elevated your Islam? Has it helped you pick up the Qur’an? Has it helped you remember Allah subhana wata’ala?. There is no “halal music” that does this either. Music is the calling of the shaytaan and shaytaan will do its best to keep you away from Allah subhana wata’ala. To prevent you from being a better Muslim.
If you truly want peace, happiness, and calmness in your salaah, let music go and see how much better you feel after you pray. It is not an overnight transformation but it can be done. If you do things for the sake of Allah subhana wata’ala, He will replace music or whatever it be with something better. That something better, is peace, happiness and calmness that comes with salaah. No more standing on your prayer mat, in the congregation, having songs stuck in your head. Just the words of the Qur’an, a mercy from Allah subhana wata’ala allowing you to understand it, feel peace, happiness and calmness.
Assalamwalikhum (peace be upon you)
Alhamdulilah (thanks to Allah), we have reached another blessed month of Ramadan. On many of our Ramadan timetables there is a du’aa that has been passed around for years as the correct du’aa to break your fast. I have recited it for years, you have and so have many of our family members and friends. The du’aa, “Allahumma inni laka sumtu wa bika aamantu wa ‘ala rizq-ika aftarthu” (O Allah! I fasted for You and I believe in You and I break my fast with Your sustenance). Did you know this hadith is weak? Yes, the du’aa printed on Ramadan timetables every year, that we recite is actually from a hadith that is weak, which has been graded weak by Sheikh Al-Albaani (may Allah have mercy upon him). I bet you didn’t know there is another du’aa that you recite and you’ve probably never come across before and this du’aa is authentic! The correct du’aa to recite is: Dhahaba al-zama’ wa abtalat al-‘urooq wa thabata al-ajr in sha Allaah (Thirst is gone, the veins are moistened and the reward is certain if Allaah wills).” [Abu Dawood]
May Allah make this Ramadan easy for us and keep us on the straight path
All praise is due to Allah, we praise Him, we seek His help and we ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides, there is none that can misguide him and whoever Allah misguides, there is none that can guide him. There is no God worthy of worship except Allah alone, there is no partner and that Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) is His slave and final Messenger.
1) I start with these words to let my children know, my family know, that there is none, nobody, not a single living thing or single dead thing in this world that has the right to be worshipped except Allah. There is NONE other than Allah that can guide you and there is none other that can misguide you. There is NONE other that can help you in this world other than Allah. I start with the words of tawheed, I start with the words of oneness in Allah because there is only Allah. No other deity in this world can help you except Allah and only He has the right to be worshipped and asked for help.
2) Allah has set commands upon us in this life to help us become successful in the hereafter. The first command is to believe in Allah alone. The second one is to establish your salah. Why your salah? It is what you will be asked about first when you die and stand in front of Allah on the day of judgement. If you want to be successful in this life, be regular with your salah, hold onto it, and do not waver by the illusions of this world. If you want to be successful in this life and the hereafter, establish your salah even if you are amongst a crowd who will make fun of you for it or look at you strangely. The Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) said: “Islam began as something strange and will return to as being strange.” [Muslim]
3) It is your manners that people will look at and not your beard, thobe, abaya, or hijab. Your exterior is just an image, but it is your actions that people will remember. You will see many Muslims today, who wear the Islamic attire but have very bad manners, whether it is online or in person. Improve your manners and work on them. People will remember you by them and come closer to you because of them. If you wish to run people away, be rude to them, speak about their secrets they entrusted you with, and betray others. These actions, I tell you, are not the actions of a believer.
4) Not everyone will be kind to you because you are kind to them. That’s just how some people are. They will use you for your intelligence, for your skills, for your hard work. But don’t ever look for a reward from them, for the reward lies only with Allah. Do things for the sake of Allah alone and you will be rewarded handsomely! The Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) was mocked and hit with stones. His companions were tortured by the disbelievers and yet, they still kept faith in Allah. Patience does good as Allah says in the Qur’an: “Allah is with the As-Sabiroon (the patient).” [2:153]
5) If you want to feel good, serve others. The Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) spent his life worshipping Allah alone and served others. He helped resolved issues, he built communities, he protected people, and continously preached what Allah had revealed to him, so they in return were better people. He didn’t do it for recognition nor to be praised. He did it for Allah first and then to benefit the ummah (nation) today.
6) To my son. Treat women with respect. They are not your servants even though they are commanded to obey you. The Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) was the best of examples. The best of examples is his treatment of women, his wives. The messenger of Allah said: “The best of you are the best to his wives and I am the best to my wives.” [Tirmidhi] He said this as example to follow him in his treatment to his wives. He never hit them, so don’t raise your hand to your wife. Resolve your issues with communication, not with brute and physicality. Be kind, generous, loving, help her with the house chores, spend time together, be as a child with her and love her as I do this with your mother everyday, insha’Allah.
7) To my daughter. Just because you are a Muslim woman doesn’t make you any less of a person. The mothers of the believers, the mothers of this ummah, were strong, intelligent and brave women! Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) was a wealthy merchant who owned her own business. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was teaching the companions about the life of the Prophet. She was an advisor to even the most strongest of companions and she also narrated over thousands of ahadith. Being a woman elevates you in Islam and doesn’t degrade you. Go out and pursue knowledge, get an education, learn and teach just as the Prophet wives educated the companions. Your beauty doesn’t lie in your make up or your clothing but it belongs in your ability to be BEST Muslim woman you can be and your inner faith. Allah says: “The most honourable among you in the sight of Allah is the pious one.” [49:13]
8) Life will be hard. It is not meant to be easy for anybody. The messenger of Allah had many hardships and the prophets before him had many hardships. Each and every single one of them turned to Allah and sought help. They prayed and made supplication to Allah. Each and every single time, Allah had answered, so be patient for the answer. Each answer may not be as you like but will be the BEST for you as Allah is the best of planners. You may not understand why you’ve been “rejected” but know Allah loves you more than your own mother and it is for your own good. One of the salaf used to say: “I make du’aa to Allah for something I want and if He gives it to me, then I am happy once and if he doesn’t, then I am happy ten times because the first was my choice and the second was Allah’s choice.”
9) When you make mistakes, which you will, turn to Allah and ask for forgiveness. Allah is the ONLY one that can forgive your sins. Turn in repentance for every sin you commit, He is forgiving and no matter the type of sin you commit, He will forgive you insha’Allah.
10) Take everyday one day at a time. Don’t stress about things that are not in your control. Go with the flow of life and follow your passion. Don’t worry about money because that is not in your control either. Allah is Ar-Razzaq, the giver of sustenance. Work for it and let it come how Allah has intended for it to come. Not everyone will support you, people will doubt you, but there is no need to give up! Keep your income halal, as it is means for your supplications to get answered. As long as you turn to Allah in every single one of your affairs, you will be tested, guided and rewarded, insha’Allah. This life is temporary so work on both.
11) Lastly and finally, be confident in everything you do. Set your goals and no matter what happens, Allah is always with you. Your mother and I will support you in the things you set out to do as long as it is permissible in Islam. Earning the displeasure of Allah will not guarantee you success. We love you and can’t wait to meet you all, insha’Allah.
Asalamwalikhum my Muslim brothers and sisters. Tonight is supposedly a night. A blessed night where many Muslims from around the world will gather and sit in the remembrance of Allah subhanawatala. Some will fast through out the day. Some will read Qur’an. Some will gather in the masajids and listen to lectures about this blessed night.
Sadly, many Muslims neglect the authentic narrations from the Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) and follow the unauthentic ones. Shab-E-Bharat is one of them. All the hadiths that are mentioned about this night are based on weak hadith. There is not a single, not one authentic narration from the Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) about this night. Even after there is an overwhelming proof from the scholars of Islam, there are those who reject it and continously to follow blindly with these innovations.
I ask you to comp template this. Has the Messenger of Allah left out anything in this religion of Islaam? Has he not told his companions something they don’t know and some how, we are the only ones that know? Of course not because they were with him day in and day out but yet, Muslims still follow their desires, the people whom they are surrounded by and follow many innovations today. Do they not know that Allah subhanawatala told us in the Qur’an that He has completed the religion? That this religion is complete and there is not a single thing left out?
Allah subhanawatala says in Surah Al-Ma’idah:
“This day I have perfected for you your religion and completed my favour upon you (O Muhammad) and have approved for you Islam as religion.”
Oh, Muslims. Why do you choose to follow blindly? Why do you choose to follow people in these innovations? Has what Allah and the Messenger of Allah not enough for you? Do you not know that every single innovation is misguidance and every single of them is in the hell fire? The Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) didn’t say some innovations, he didn’t say a few innovations, he said every single one of them.
Wake up Muslims!!! This religion is complete and to follow it the way the Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him), his companions, we need to revert back to the ways they followed it. Not the way it has been innovated by many people today.
Allah says in Surah Al-An’am:
“If you obey most of those on earth, they will mislead you from the way of Allah. They follow but conjecture and they only lie.”
Ladies – your dowry is important in Islam as it solidifies the marriage but to take it to an extreme and ask for unreasonable amounts makes you greedy. It is definitely your right to ask for whatever you like and however much you like but did you even consider that all that amount your asking for will be paid for and more through out the lives you two will live together, inshaallah.
That $10,000 dowry will be nothing compared to the amount of money your husband will spend on you several years down the line, unless he is stingy and cheap but Islam doesn’t allow that as he has to spend to provide for you. Don’t take advantage of the dowry. Look forward to the years spent together. Money doesn’t equal love and him having a lot money doesn’t equal him loving you more and him having and giving you less, doesn’t equal less love and fun. Love is more than digits in the account, a good job and a shiny ring. These things don’t signify love and understanding of the Quran and sunnah. But morals, respect, appreciation and love do. Because a believing man upholds the sunnah and clings to it and loves you according to it and more.
He doesn’t put you down, treat you like a slave and only comforts you when you beg. Love is unconditional and it shouldn’t have to be forced nor come attached with a massive price tag. Islam has made getting married easy but it is us, family, culture, influence that have made it difficult. If you truly want to get married, make the dowry easy and Allah subhanawatala will make the marriage beautiful. When marriage is made difficult and lots of money is spent towards the wedding itself, statistics say, it fails. Statistics aren’t facts but it’s an eye opener to the current trends of high priced marriages and miserable lives that come after. It is not to say, that your marriage will fail if you spend a lot but it is not from the sunnah. Rather what is from the sunnah is simplicity and making things easy upon the people and not burden them.
Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) said: “The most blessed nikah is the one with the least expenses.” [Bayhaqi]
One of the biggest mistakes of my life has been realized too late. I do believe, I’ve taken a very long time to realize this. It’s been 28 years where I’ve only wanted people to rejoice in my happiness with me. To jump for joy with me when things went right and when things went wrong, I wanted them to share a shoulder. As we all know, life isn’t this way. People you think are close to you, wont rejoice in your happiness with you and those who you think would give you a shoulder when things went wrong are only bringing you down. That is far too unrealistic in this time, especially these days. It shows how far we are from Al-Islam and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him).
When you get people too involved in your personal life and matters, they feel the need to have a say in everything. They feel they have to direct your life according to their imagination. It is not their beliefs but imagination because they are not living as you. They end up draining life out of you because somethings you do are just not enough. As a matter of a fact, nothing you do will be enough. We all think certain individuals are there to bring us up, encourage us, and help us be grateful with the good things that come forth in our lives. But that doesn’t always happen. They always find a hole where they can hammer their nail of negativity in and kill your happiness, as this is from the whispers of shaytaan, and lack of faith and trust in Allah subhanawata’ala.
This is why, I keep my circle of friends, family, very small. Even then, people who are really close to you, if you notice, are destroying the goodness in your life. When a calamity happens, they worsen the situation by adding their own negativity to it. It’s very important to keep your personal matters and life to only those who you truly trust. Those individuals who emulate the lives of the companions of the Messenger of Allah. They are there for you in the time of need and bring positivity when something good happens for you and help you celebrate it. Not everyone needs to know the goodness that is happening in your life and what trial you are going through today. Keep your circle as small as possible. The smaller it is, the easier it is to toss out the ones that drag your life into a hole. The better your life remains and the happier you are. It will allow you to be the director of your movie, your life, instead of others attempting to direct it for you, only for them to potentially screw it up.
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How often in our lives do we come across people who are dream killers? You are over joyed, optimistic, positive about the future, explaining the good things you dream of accomplishing then a person or people say, that’s not possible. Your skills are not good enough. You are not cut out for the work. How could you possibly do it? Then negativity sets in and it sails through the currents that are strong enough to drown your dreams. Eventually, you give up! You throw everything away. Sometimes, even throwing away years of work and progress because someone would rather you be average. A C level player, when you know in your heart, in every breath you take, you are one of a kind, last of a dying breed, who just wants to succeed.
Dream killers come from every aspect of our lives. Sometimes, it is ourselves but many times, it is the people you surround yourself with. Can be your parents, your siblings or your “friends.” Who have aimed low all their life and cannot fathom you ever being able to accomplish your dreams. They’ve never seen such hard work nor have they seen someone who is not able to give up. They lack patience and they would rather results now, instead of them coming to fruition. They wish and I do mean, they wish, they had the same work ethic and drive as you. Soon enough, their envy, their hatred, negativity, failures in life, dreams set so low that it could be stepped over, crush yours.
One thing I’ve learned in life and Islam also teaches is to keep things to yourself. If you have a gift, don’t tell others about it. Don’t speak too highly about it. Keep your success and your goals to yourself. The Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) said: “Resort to secrecy for the fulfillment and success of your needs for, verily, everyone who has a blessing is envied.” [Tabaraani]
Not everyone is going to be overjoyed at your success or your dreams. Sadly, some people have two things these days. Sick hearts because they can’t bare the shine of your optimistic drive and positivity. And two, envy, thus leading to your dreams crashing when you don’t know why. The Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) warned us about envy and how it could it destroy someone and even kill someone, he said: “Don’t be envious of one another.”[Muslim] in another hadith a companion was afflicted with envy by another companion due to admiration and the companion fell to the floor. He did not know what happened and brought over the Messenger of Allah. In order to revive the man, he was told to do wudhu (ablution) and with that water, pour it over him. Amir bin Rabi’ah passed by Sahl bin Hunaif when he was having a bath, and said, “I have never seen such a beautiful skin.” Straight away he (Sahl) fell to the ground. He was brought to the Messenger of Allah and it was said, “Sahl has had a fit.” He said, “Whom do you accuse with regard to him?” They said, “Amir bin Rabi’ah.” He said, “Why would anyone of you kill his brother? If he sees something that he likes, then let him pray for blessing for him.” Then he called for water and told Amir to perform ablution, then he washed his face and his arms up to the elbows, his knees and inside his lower garment, then he told him to pour the water over him (Sahl). [Ibn Majah]
It’s best to keep dreams, success and goals to yourself. Share them with only those whom you trust and are very close to you. Those who have been there for you through thick and thin. Who advise you with sincerity and goodness. Who want you to see you further yourself in life and when it is achieved they celebrate and become overjoyed with you and when failure occurs, they become sad with you and encourage you to keep going. This is what a true friend is and this is what someone who is not a dream killer.