Perception, Confidence: Ugly Or Beautiful

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Many times I come across people telling me, they think they are ugly. They aren’t beautiful or handsome enough to get married. No one in this world has the right whether to tell you if you are ugly or beautiful. If others tell you, you are ugly, know it is an opinion but if you tell yourself you are ugly, you end up believing it, then it becomes a fact to no one other than you.

This world is filled with beautiful individuals and even the most “ugliest” people are really beautiful, shining like stars because they have something you are missing and have been missing for a very, very, very, long time, which is confidence. Whenever an individual tells them they are ugly, they brush it off because they know an opinion will do nothing for them and a person’s perception of me, are just merely words, not facts. They go on with their day, full of confidence, believing in themselves, believing they’ve been created beautifully by the creator of the heavens and the earth. They never have a lack of belief because they believe confidently in themselves that Allah subhana wata’ala did not create an ugly person in this world. They wake up feeling beautiful and accepted by their own acceptance and they don’t long for the acceptance of others, as it will vanish, while accepting thyself is by far the most important thing.

What people who feel are ugly do, they long for the acceptance of others. They live off the compliments, making them feel beautiful. While those who have already accepted themselves, appreciate the person in the mirror and are not looking for compliments from others, asking to be accepted and being told, they are beautiful or handsome.

What people who feel are ugly need to do, is have firm belief that Allah subhana wata’ala created them beautifully and there has not been in error in their physical selves. They should not compare their beauty to someone else’s because little do they know, they may want something you have. Instead of longing for acceptance and being told they are beautiful, they need to tell themselves, they are beautiful. It is not egotistical, it is not being a narcissistic or stuck up, it is called confidence. You need to wake up and tell yourself, you are beautiful or handsome and that an opinion from someone else, especially negative, saying Im ugly, are just words that don’t reflect who I am as a person.

Beauty is not only in the physical but it is also about the person you are. So a person that may look beautiful or handsome from the outside, may actually be ugly on the inside, this may in fact, rot their appearance when they speak because of the lack of manners they carry. Instead of constantly working on your physical self, work on the inner part, so when you do become old, wrinkled, your personality will speak for you, which will emanate beauty from your soul and the words you speak.

Being beautiful or handsome is all about perception and the only persons perception that matters, is yours, so make sure it is a good one filled with confidence. You can paint your face on, get a plastic surgery, buy compliments and likes but if you don’t feel beautiful or handsome within yourself, those are only temporary feelings which will disappear. While accepting yourself, believing in yourself and being confident in how you were created will never disappear. It will only strengthen as you get old. Learn to accept yourself and be confident, it will change the world around you and help you feel better every single day, insha’Allah (if Allah wills).

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Food For Thought III

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Think good of yourself and receive your trials in life as a blessing and take things you are turned away from as blessings. Be confident in yourself because no one else can be confident for you. For there are many things about yourself that others love, that you hate but they wish and pray they could have. You are an unlimited potential that limits yourself from the confine of your mind, being trapped and afraid of how the world will react to your intelligence, to the skills and abilities Allah SWT has blessed you with. The ugliness inside of you needs work more than the ugliness on your face because it will disappear in a few years but the ugliness inside of you, on your heart will remain for decades or however long you live, which will ruin the person you are.

No heart turns cold or bitter unless you want it to. Your experiences are nothing but lessons to enable you to grasp the reality of this world and what you are really here for. You strive for this world but Allah says: “This world is nothing but play an amusement.” And there after in the same verse, Allah SWT says: “But far better is the house in the hereafter.” [6:32] Your success will begin with your salah and the hardest things to achieve always give the most joy, so begin with Fajr salah and bring ease to your day.

Your capabilities are boundless but you must remain attached to the success bringer and only is He who can give you success. Never be arrogant with what you have nor feel superior to anybody, as what you may be given as a blessing, may turn into a trial due to how you handle it and show others. Your skin is just a colour, a pigment to the eye, just as your face but that is never telling of the person you are, so be good to others no matter the treatment they put you through.

Never chase anybody in this life because those who are meant to stay, will stay regardless of your downfalls and struggles but those who are meant to leave, will leave because they were never meant to be the piece to complete your life’s puzzle. Be as you say you are and do as you say, do your best to keep your word, so you remain a trustworthy individual. Say the truth even if it is against yourself and against those closest to you, as this is what Muslim is supposed to do.

Don’t wish ill for nobody because wishing ill for others will bring ill to your heart and blacken it. Pray for others, wish them good, just as you have been given good. Don’t take advantage of the vulnerable but give them guidance to show them the way. Don’t say nothing about others they don’t like because your good deeds will be needed on the day it matters the most.

Your time is your most valuable asset, so spend it well and only give to those who will receive and treat it well. Love those who show you endless love and do your best to give it equally, as they show you how valuable you are to them. Life is full of worries and stress but one sujood makes it all better, so keep your salah close and tears for the one who can give you an end to your hardships.

Smile as often as possible because each day you wake up is a blessing others have not received. Eat well, treat your body right and see it give you your rights. In the end, you only have one life and 24/hours, do not waste it worrying and complaining cause you have so much to give and live for. Spend it well, goto towards success (salah) and see your life become easier as you are leaving everything to the one who has given you everything.

I am “unattractive”

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There are no “unattractive” people in the world. Each person’s attractions are different and the only thing that can make a person unattractive is having the belief you are unattractive. As long as you hold onto the belief you are “unattractive” the more you’ll come to acceptance of this false belief, which in turn, turns into the truth only to you but nobody else. The thought often stems from a person not liking us, our physical selves but this does not mean you are unattractive, this just means their taste are different than yours. A person may find purple clothes attractive or whatever it may be but you may not and this is due to us being born with personal preferences. Your “unattractive” self may be attractive to others and you don’t even know but since you hold onto that belief, hold yourself with little confidence, it follows you every where. You are more attractive than you think so believe that and accept it. Just because one or few find you “unattractive” doesn’t mean it is a fact, it’s a personal choice based on personal preference. Hold yourself with confidence and others will hold you to that level. Also, no one else can have the power to tell you are unattractive unless you’ve accepted it already. Only thing that may make a person unattractive is their personality and even that is a personal preference.