Set Your Kibr (Pride/Arrogance) Aside

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I could never comprehend why some people think their culture or race is superior to others? Wouldn’t you think if your race or culture was superior compared to everyone else’s, you wouldn’t have to work a single day in your life and you would just lounge all day because you are the “chosen” people? You wouldn’t have to worry about a single thing because you are superior compared to everyone else because you are the “chosen” people? The reality is, you are not superior to anyone, so why are you so full of pride over your skin colour, race or traditions compared to everyone else’s? Do you not see that you live just like everyone else? That you turn for help to the creator like everyone else? That the creator made you nations and tribes so you may recognize one another? Isn’t that what Allah SWT says in the Surah Al-Hujurat? So where do you get this idea that your race, culture or traditions are better? Does a person’s skin colour matter more than their character? Seems so in people’s minds. Someone could have the worst of character but since their skin colour matches theirs or the language is the same, they seem to be better. How illogical is that? Do you not understand that thinking this way, while living in a diverse society makes you look like a fool? How closed minded can people be? They want you to accept them for their skin colour, traditions or race, while at the same time rejecting yours but when you don’t accept theirs, they scream racism and want to seek “justice” against your doing. Hypocritical!

Im fed up with how society treats minorities, when the same minorities are doing what the majority do to others. I thought we got past all the racism? I guess not. People still pride themselves over their skin colour, when x-rays show our bones are white, facts say, we are really the same. So why are you obsessed over your skin colour? Why are you obsessed with your culture? Why are you obsessed with your traditions? These things do make you different but reality is, we are really the same.

Doesn’t Allah say in Surah Al-Hajj

We created you from dust, then from a sperm-drop, then from a clinging clot, and then from a lump of flesh, formed and unformed – that We may show you. And We settle in the wombs whom We will for a specified term, then We bring you out as a child, and then [We develop you] that you may reach your [time of] maturity.

So please tell me, how you are superior to anyone else when you are formed and created the same? Then when you die, you are shrouded and buried the same.

Let go of your pride over your skin colour, culture and traditions. All it does is hurt you and especially your children the most. You are nothing but a soul in a body with an appointed time on this earth. Live it without pride and live with an open mind. It’ll make your life easier.

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Give Precedence To Deen (Religion), Character & Personality – Not Culture & Tribalism

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It’s sad that still this day and age, tribalism and culture still has precedence over deen (religion), character and personality. So many are being turned away for marriage due to ignorance and pride, when it has done nothing for them except hurt their families. They think they are making the best possible decision but for whom? Themselves? It only hurts the children who are actually following the deen and then ending up having to choose between family and the person of their interests, one of the worst ultimatum an individual has to live through. Islam is not about whose culture is the best or whose tribe is the best or whose community is the best but it is about who will lead me to jannah (heaven)? Who will make me a better muslim? Who will help me raise children that will be beneficial for the ummah (nation/community)? But rather, it has become who mahr (payment) is higher for my daughter, who has the best degrees and whose skin is lighter, it is sad but a true reality, when neither of those are needed to make a good spouse.

A degree cannot make a marriage successful but it may make you successful. The colour of a persons skin does not make a person’s character beautiful when it may be rotten. And the mahr (payment) will not cure the problems in the relationship when it will vanish away through spending or left aside and may be forgotten.

We are all made from clay and water, sperm to egg and came out the same way. Raised by a male and female or a single parent, eat the same way, walk the same way and do many things the same way, so how could we see others differently, when we aren’t different at all?

Your skin is brown, theirs is white, underneath is red. Our tears drop the same, our saliva forms the same and only thing different about us is our personality, character, fingerprints and physical features. Other than that, we are the same. So why give precedence over something that really isn’t different?

If your tribe or culture was better, you’d be elevated into the heavens and written about but you aren’t. You live on the earth just as the rest and will be put into the earth just as the rest, that is to rest. Make things easy for others and do not give precedence to culture, skin colour and tribes when neither benefits you. Choose people based on their character and personality, not their culture or skin colour. Skin colour or culture does not develop relationship skills but people whose character and personality are great, do. Think wisely when making a decision for your sons and daughters because you may be guilty choosing something that has no status, when piety, character and personality do.

Just something to think about….

“Is It Because Im Black?”

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This year, I’ve been going through a lot in my life but Alhumdulilah, I do my best to stay in the best of spirits. As you can see from my writing, the title of my blog, “Think & Be Positive.” I like to write things about positivity, motivation because that is the type of person I am, Alhumdulilah. A positive individual. I write things that will help insha’Allah others to be better or go through the situations in their life with positivity in mind.

I’ve been asked a few times by women if I am interested in them and due to the situations in my life I like to stay out of them and just have my own space. Im the type of person who really enjoys talking to everyone I come across. No matter who it is. How old that person is. I am just a really friendly, funny and down to earth to person. Lately, women have approached and I’ve kindly declined that Im not interested. The odd thing is, if it is a coloured woman, a black woman, they would automatically assume or ask “is it because Im black?” I find this hilarious.

Skin colour has never mattered to me, EVER. I don’t care if the person is as blue as Violet Beauregard. Sometimes people need to put down their insecurities and stop thinking everything has to do with skin colour. Not every person is the same. Just because dudes in the past may have turned you down due to your skin colour, does not mean, every guy will. You need to stop being insecure about yourself. Be confident about the qualities you have. Be confident about the way you look. If a person turns you down, it may be for several reasons or several things that person may be going through. Don’t automatically assume it is because of your skin colour. If a person wants to be with you, they’ll want to be with you no matter what it is. No matter what occupation you have. No matter what kind of car you drive or you don’t have a car. Skin colour is just honestly a BS scapegoat in saying, you are not the person for me or Im too much of a wuss and I care too much what others think.

Islam doesn’t teach you about being with someone for their skin colour, their riches, reputation, kings or queens. Islam teaches to be with people with whose character is the best. Who is best in religion. Why does Islam say this? Because character is GOLD. Piety is riches. If you have someone that has good character, it’ll be good for you and it’ll be good for your kids. If you have someone who is best in religion, pious, it’ll be good for you and it’ll be good for your kids.

Don’t always look at things from the deep end and don’t be shallow, thinking about the colour of your skin or your beauty or whatever it may be when things don’t workout. Allah SWT knows best. Just be happy with what comes your way and be optimistic of what will come your way. Hope for the best and think positively.