Be The Director Of Your Movie, Your life

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One of the biggest mistakes of my life has been realized too late. I do believe, I’ve taken a very long time to realize this. It’s been 28 years where I’ve only wanted people to rejoice in my happiness with me. To jump for joy with me when things went right and when things went wrong, I wanted them to share a shoulder. As we all know, life isn’t this way. People you think are close to you, wont rejoice in your happiness with you and those who you think would give you a shoulder when things went wrong are only bringing you down. That is far too unrealistic in this time, especially these days. It shows how far we are from Al-Islam and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him).

When you get people too involved in your personal life and matters, they feel the need to have a say in everything. They feel they have to direct your life according to their imagination. It is not their beliefs but imagination because they are not living as you. They end up draining life out of you because somethings you do are just not enough. As a matter of a fact, nothing you do will be enough. We all think certain individuals are there to bring us up, encourage us, and help us be grateful with the good things that come forth in our lives. But that doesn’t always happen. They always find a hole where they can hammer their nail of negativity in and kill your happiness, as this is from the whispers of shaytaan, and lack of faith and trust in Allah subhanawata’ala.

This is why, I keep my circle of friends, family, very small. Even then, people who are really close to you, if you notice, are destroying the goodness in your life. When a calamity happens, they worsen the situation by adding their own negativity to it. It’s very important to keep your personal matters and life to only those who you truly trust. Those individuals who emulate the lives of the companions of the Messenger of Allah. They are there for you in the time of need and bring positivity when something good happens for you and help you celebrate it. Not everyone needs to know the goodness that is happening in your life and what trial you are going through today. Keep your circle as small as possible. The smaller it is, the easier it is to toss out the ones that drag your life into a hole. The better your life remains and the happier you are. It will allow you to be the director of your movie, your life, instead of others attempting to direct it for you, only for them to potentially screw it up.

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Your Mind Is Too Expensive For Negative Thoughts

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You are going to come across negative people in all aspects of your life, no matter where you go, your career aspirations, school, in the work place but the most disheartening place to find negative people is in your home. Home, we feel it is a place where everyone feels welcome. Your family encourages you to be better and to overcome obstacles in your life, instead, we run into family members who end up being the obstacles in life, holding us back from so much. We express our feelings, we are deemed as weak. We share our goals, we are showing off. We share our happiness, they think you are better than them. All we ever look for is support, encouragement and motivation to get further in life, instead we get the total opposite and it breaks us down eventually. Sometimes, we come to ask ourselves, how come those who are closest to us, end up breaking us down? Why don’t they encourage us? Some say, they are using reverse psychology on you, to encourage you. Some will say, they are jealous of what you will be able to accomplish with your skills. No matter what it is, these people, family members are not really an important aspect of your life if they hold you back, if they hold you down.

Look to encourage yourself from their negativity and accomplish what you’ve dreamed. Look to move on with your life with their words and use it as coal to fuel your fire, to build a fortress high enough, so they can see you standing tall. Don’t allow negative people to occupy a vacant space that is too expensive to rent in your head. The only thing should occupy your mind, to occupy that space, is your goals and aspirations and how you want to accomplish it in life. Your family is always going to say negative things to you. They will always look to bring you down but you are neither what they say of you or what they think of you. You are everything you think you will be and what you think you will be, is someone who is relevant in what matters most. You are everything Allah subhana wata’ala has created you for and gifted to you, talents and abilities. Negative people, no matter who it be, family, friends, enemies, are only a minor set back for a major come back in life. If they have brought you down, tore you down from going towards your goals and dreams, it has only been a temporary phase which developed a much stronger version of yourself, that is it, nothing more.

Negative people, those who say things to bring you down, only say things because it is a reflection of themselves. They are afraid of you. A strong minded, capable individual, who they wish they could become. Deep down, they envy everything you are today and everything you will become. You are what they wish they could be, so take it as a compliment and don’t let it affect your way of life.

Judging Those Striving For The Deen (Religion)

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Before you judge others about how they are striving for the deen (religion) remember, you were at one point where they were too. You know the struggle, you know the effort every single day and your eman (faith) got better each and every single time. Instead of judging others how they are striving, look to give them a hand and support. You didn’t become pious over night, while you were spending most of your nights else where. You didn’t become pious through the day, while you were spending your day else where. Everyone starts some where, just as you did. Make it easy for others as you know how hard it was for you. Give sincere advice, not judgemental criticism. Encouraging them to strive, instead of saying, “It’s only a temporary thing” because those same words were probably uttered to you, while they didn’t know your intention and it hurt you bad. We are all one ummah (nation) so lets help each other get closer to the deen, instead of dragging them away from it, by being judgemental and negative. Just because your actions are pious, doesn’t mean your heart isn’t black with the things you say and think about others.

Substituting Your Thoughts

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The mind can only carry one thought at a time. Whether that thought you are thinking of is negative or positive, you choose it. So whenever you come across a negative thought, you will substitute that thought with something positive in order for you to reinforce and reiterate the positive thought to wash the negative thought away. If you choose the negative thought, you will more than likely carry this as a burden which eventually cause a break down in your happiness and well being. Would you rather have a garden full of flowers or weeds? The weeds represent the negative thoughts and the flowers represent your positive thoughts. The weeds are destructive to the garden, just as a negative thought is destructive to the mind and the flowers are beautiful for the garden, just as a positive thought is beautiful for the mind. It is always encouraged to substitute your negative thoughts with your positive thoughts, as this will enable you to be happy and lead you to a more successful lifestyle.

Explanatory Style

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95% of your emotions are determined by the way you talk to yourself. This is called “explanatory style.” Whatever events have taken place in your life and how you speak to yourself about them, whether negative or positive, will determine how you feel about them. It is always BEST, BEST, BEST, to speak to yourself about the events that have unfolded and are unfolding in a positive light, to help you have a positive mindset, in order to set yourself up to be the strongest version of yourself. The more you speak to yourself in a positive light, the more you will feel better about what has transpired and what will transpire in the future. It will help you progress and walk towards what you want without holding you back by regretting what has already happened. The more you speak to yourself in a negative light, how you feel about yourself over what has transpired and what will transpire in the future, the worse you will feel and the more you will bring yourself down. The more you will hold yourself back from being the strongest version of yourself. It is essential to think positively about yourself, the events in your life, no matter how bad they seem to have a healthy mind and a healthy body.