Be The Director Of Your Movie, Your life

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One of the biggest mistakes of my life has been realized too late. I do believe, I’ve taken a very long time to realize this. It’s been 28 years where I’ve only wanted people to rejoice in my happiness with me. To jump for joy with me when things went right and when things went wrong, I wanted them to share a shoulder. As we all know, life isn’t this way. People you think are close to you, wont rejoice in your happiness with you and those who you think would give you a shoulder when things went wrong are only bringing you down. That is far too unrealistic in this time, especially these days. It shows how far we are from Al-Islam and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him).

When you get people too involved in your personal life and matters, they feel the need to have a say in everything. They feel they have to direct your life according to their imagination. It is not their beliefs but imagination because they are not living as you. They end up draining life out of you because somethings you do are just not enough. As a matter of a fact, nothing you do will be enough. We all think certain individuals are there to bring us up, encourage us, and help us be grateful with the good things that come forth in our lives. But that doesn’t always happen. They always find a hole where they can hammer their nail of negativity in and kill your happiness, as this is from the whispers of shaytaan, and lack of faith and trust in Allah subhanawata’ala.

This is why, I keep my circle of friends, family, very small. Even then, people who are really close to you, if you notice, are destroying the goodness in your life. When a calamity happens, they worsen the situation by adding their own negativity to it. It’s very important to keep your personal matters and life to only those who you truly trust. Those individuals who emulate the lives of the companions of the Messenger of Allah. They are there for you in the time of need and bring positivity when something good happens for you and help you celebrate it. Not everyone needs to know the goodness that is happening in your life and what trial you are going through today. Keep your circle as small as possible. The smaller it is, the easier it is to toss out the ones that drag your life into a hole. The better your life remains and the happier you are. It will allow you to be the director of your movie, your life, instead of others attempting to direct it for you, only for them to potentially screw it up.

Your Own Poison

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Unhealthy relationships are a poison we choose to inject ourselves with everyday, simply because we don’t make a decision to get rid of it. We think and want to get rid of this poison inside of us but we do nothing about it, absolutely nothing. Even when it breaks us down everyday. Even when it takes away from our happiness, we allow the poison to remain! What happens when we get sick? We make a choice by visiting the doctor to prescribe us a medicine that can get rid of this sickness, hoping it works, while knowing the cure is from Allah. You see, we made a choice to change something in our lives. Just as you can change the sickness inside of you that weighs you down. That weighs your life down, you can do the same with the poison that you have been hesitant to get rid of for several years! Change is on the horizon, all it takes is for you take make the step to change your life! Unhealthy relationships are not only with people but it is with yourself as well. With your mind. How you perceive yourself. Your unhealthy relationship with your physical self. Overweight, underweight, skinny, fat, whatever it may be. This is a poison that you’ve wanted to change for years but you don’t want to reach out and get the medicine, which is progress! If you really want to change your life, you will consistently make progress in 3 ways. First one is making an effort. Second is making duaa (supplication) and third is hoping for the best by being consistent every single day to change it. Stop injecting yourself with the poison when the cure has been there all along. If you have to walk away, then walk away. If you have to run, then run. If you have to make a sacrifices then make them but know that nothing will change, that poison will not rid itself until YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU want to rid of it by getting up and removing it.

3 Types Of People You Don’t Need In Your Life

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We all have certain individuals in our lives who don’t benefit us but oddly enough we keep them around. Days, months and years go by and these individuals take everything out of us. We eventually become mentally exhausted and drained with them around all the time. Sometimes we know who they are and sometimes we don’t know who they are.

In this article, insha’Allah (if Allah wills), I will give you 3 types of people that you don’t need in your life. Now, you may think, I don’t want to be harsh, I don’t want them to feel bad, I don’t want to get rid of them and many things will pop into your head but seriously, just read

1. The Negative Ones

The negative ones are the type no matter what happens in their life, they will constantly see negativity in it. They could be given a million dollars, a home with no mortgage, no debt and still some how, they’ll find something negative about it. These types of individuals will literally put your life into the ground just by how they think of everything. Not only think but how they express themselves.

Allah subhana wata’ala has given us so much and still continues to give us more but some how these individuals would rather see what they don’t have, instead of what they have in their life and have been given through the years of their life. They often forget, the biggest and most greatest blessings are, one; given the religion of Al-Islam and two being able to live another day.

Allah subhana wata’ala says in the Qur’an:

They consider it a favour to you that they have accepted Islam. Say, “Do not consider your Islam a favour to me. Rather, Allah has conferred favour upon you that He has guided you to the faith, if you should be truthful.” [Surah Al-Hujurat [49:17]

If you are able to live another day, you have had an opportunity someone else has not been given instead, the negative ones will complain about their life. I understand, we all go through problems, our life isn’t how we dreamt but these people don’t give up and bring you down by how often you hear “my life sucks.”

Best thing is, don’t keep these people around for too long. They’ll want your pity, they’ll want your advice, they’ll want you to be there for them but even then, after that, they’ll do nothing with your advice. They’ll constantly look for pity and no matter how often you are there for them, it just seems it is never appreciated, so it brings you down.

Walk away! You’ve done as much as you could. They need to grow on their own, so you can also grow and relax without them.

2. Those Who Take Advantage Of You & Never Appreciate You

We go out of our way to help others because Allah subhana wata’ala created us genuine, kind hearted and lovely souls. We help no matter who comes our way, even if they did us wrong but at times, those people never appreciate what is in front of them. Instead, we get verbally abused, walked over and then at times blackmailed because we refuse to give ourselves to them again.

This is where we go wrong. We think, perhaps they may see what we’ve done for them through the years and they’ll be nicer, more kind, accepting but instead they tare us down every opportunity they get.

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “A believer does not get stung from the same hole twice.” [Bukhari]

Meaning, we never allow things to happen repeatedly.

If an individual does not appreciate you the first time or the second time and walks all over you, make the choice that you aren’t going to allow it to happen again. We are human and we are more than likely to give chances because we want them to see it but you are only causing your own misery while you do this. Don’t cause misery to yourself and don’t allow others to make you miserable. Walk away because they may never appreciate you, while you hope they would.

3. Those Who Don’t Bring You Closer To Allah subhana wata’ala

We all have friends who either are practicing or not practicing. Some are struggling to practice and will give you a reminder or speak about how they are struggling so you can relate. While others, only want to bring you further away with the things they are involved in. These types of individuals, those who bring you further away are not the type you want to keep around or associate yourself with often.

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “The likeness of a righteous friend and an evil friend, is the likeness of a (musk) perfume seller and a blacksmith. As for the perfume seller, he may either bestow something on you, or you may purchase something from him, or you may benefit from his sweet smell. And as for the blacksmith, he may either burn your clothes, or you may be exposed to his awful smell.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

An evil friend will only bring you further away from the remembrance of Allah subhana wata’ala, while a righteous friend, even the one who is struggling, will remind you of Allah subhana wata’ala. Do your best to associate with the righteous and even remind those who have strayed away from the deen (religion). You might be granted jannah (heaven) for it.

********BONUS*********

4. Those Who Want You To Change For Them

Influence is a terrible thing sometimes and many times we end up doing the wrong things because we think changing who we are for others is always the best. This is not necessarily the case. We end up regretting what we did and who we aren’t just so we fit in.

Look, well, read, don’t ever change for anybody unless you want to live the rest of your life uncomfortable in your own skin. Imagine waking up feeling this isn’t really who you are and you are chained with the thought, you could be one day be who you really are? Well you can. Those who want you to change for them either have something wrong with them that they want to change or they want to have power over others. Don’t allow others to have power you, unchain yourself, break free of those chains and be exactly who you are.

If an individual is going to accept you, they will accept you as you are now and in time, whoever you become, they’ll accept that as well, as long as you don’t change for the worse.

In a society full of copy cats and clones, it is hard to stand out on your own but don’t ever follow the crowd nor change for someone who can’t accept you as you are now. Be who you are and become even better than ever. Never change for others, only change for Allah subhana wata’ala.

Insha’Allah, this article has helped you and will allow you to get rid of these types of individuals so you can be the strongest version of yourself.

I have also a written a self-help book covering many topics similar to this. You can purchase it here: https://payhip.com/b/3FdM and read full reviews on the site.

JazakAllah khair for reading. Share it with others

(Also read: https://mshabazz33.wordpress.com/2015/01/11/5-types-of-people-you-need-in-your-life/)