Looking Beyond The Dowry (mahr)

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Ladies – your dowry is important in Islam as it solidifies the marriage but to take it to an extreme and ask for unreasonable amounts makes you greedy. It is definitely your right to ask for whatever you like and however much you like but did you even consider that all that amount your asking for will be paid for and more through out the lives you two will live together, inshaallah.

That $10,000 dowry will be nothing compared to the amount of money your husband will spend on you several years down the line, unless he is stingy and cheap but Islam doesn’t allow that as he has to spend to provide for you. Don’t take advantage of the dowry. Look forward to the years spent together. Money doesn’t equal love and him having a lot money doesn’t equal him loving you more and him having and giving you less, doesn’t equal less love and fun. Love is more than digits in the account, a good job and a shiny ring. These things don’t signify love and understanding of the Quran and sunnah. But morals, respect, appreciation and love do. Because a believing man upholds the sunnah and clings to it and loves you according to it and more.

He doesn’t put you down, treat you like a slave and only comforts you when you beg. Love is unconditional and it shouldn’t have to be forced nor come attached with a massive price tag. Islam has made getting married easy but it is us, family, culture, influence that have made it difficult. If you truly want to get married, make the dowry easy and Allah subhanawatala will make the marriage beautiful. When marriage is made difficult and lots of money is spent towards the wedding itself, statistics say, it fails. Statistics aren’t facts but it’s an eye opener to the current trends of high priced marriages and miserable lives that come after. It is not to say, that your marriage will fail if you spend a lot but it is not from the sunnah. Rather what is from the sunnah is simplicity and making things easy upon the people and not burden them.

Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) said: “The most blessed nikah is the one with the least expenses.” [Bayhaqi]