Very short but informative khutba. Share with others so Insha’Allah, we change for change to actually happen within the ummah (nation/community)
Very short but informative khutba. Share with others so Insha’Allah, we change for change to actually happen within the ummah (nation/community)
Changing oneself is not easy, it takes a lot of time. People are not like cars where there is a mechanic who is able to piece the broken parts together in a matter of hours or days and give you an improved version. We all have taken years to be who we wanted to become and even then, we are not fully improved in the areas we want to be.
Just as we are taking time to improve who we are, you should expect the same from others. Everyone improves at their own time, through their own experiences, so we should do our best to be patient with them. We should also advise them to the best of our abilities and not grow impatient with their progress. We don’t know what types of battles they have going on within themselves, that we don’t see on the surface. The more you are a thorn in their side, the more battles they face and the longer it may take for them to improve in the areas they want. You may in fact become the hurdle in their process which you want to see so badly.
Change takes time but we should not change or improve what we want when it is too late. The boat will leave the dock and may never return. Just as death may arrive and you may never be prepared. As long as you are making progress and trying to change to the best of your abilities, insha’Allah, it’ll happen. Cities were not built in a day and Arnold never built his physique after one workout. Everything takes time.
Know the value of yourself and never let anyone ever put a value on you. Never let anyone put a value on your success or how you succeed because they are just individuals who are looking in from the outside. They never know what it has taken to be successful and what it’ll take to be successful. You never have anything to prove to anyone except yourself. The competition that you seem to be in, is a competition with yourself. There are no competitors in this race except the mind which you’ll need to overcome when you doubt your ability and where you are going.
It is not about the instant results because they are less satisfying but the results that come from continuous work, a struggle, a hardship, will make you satisfied and proud. Know a hardship is building an efficient, strong minded individual who has endured an experience that has left the mind to grow and mature.
Anything given easy, anything that you didn’t work for, that was just handed to you, will make you lazy, comfortable and will leave you no desire to progress, except to be given more. Comfort is the destroyer of change, so never get too comfortable where you are and always look to where you want to be. The past is building blocks for the present situation you are in and the present itself, will build a future for you, the future you want as long as the belief that whatever comes your way is never perceived as negative to bring you down. To take you away from what you thought was yours.
Always work towards what you want and look to excel in it, no matter what it is. A positive mind, makes for a healthy body and a negative mind will slowly destroy your health and yourself, it will also never let you progress to where you should be in life. Always think positive, no matter the shortcomings in life, no matter the hardships in life. You are being led in a direction that will benefit your life in the near future but you must constantly remind yourself to be positive about what has missed you cause it was going to miss you regardless and what is meant for you, was always going to make its course towards you. This doesn’t mean, you live lifeless with no functions at all but be functional and be functional in a direction of change that you would want in your life. For a life that you will want for the betterment of not only for yourself but for your family as well.
What you think of yourself, is how other will receive you, so think good, be confident and insha’Allah you’ll be received well. Complain less and be thankful more. It’ll take stress off the mind and help you receive the blessings with the fullness they should be received in.
This is just some random thoughts for this evening which I’d thought I’d share with you. Thanks for reading. Insha’Allah, it helps.
We are constantly changing who we are on a day to day basis. No matter the little things you do, the things you learn, they are helping you change into the person you will become. Some people when going through changes, they take everything life has thrown at them and sit in a dark place. They sit in this dark place, concentrating on life’s sorrows which were intended to make them stronger. Depression doesn’t make you weak. It helps strengthen your mind to overcome life’s trials. They are there to help you progress in a way that is unimaginable. There are many things we don’t know about ourselves until we are placed into those circumstances. Some people never want to leave or progress further and some people take it for what is, no matter how tough it is, no matter how draining it is, they battle with their heart and soul to change the situation they are in. Change is going to happen, no matter what your life may look like so when you change, change to overcome situations easier, to be happier, to get to a better place. You are not static, to be in one place, to be in one mind set and to be upset about life’s trials. Overcome and progress. Nothing in life is difficult, it’s just how we shape our attitude when difficulties arise. Everything given has been given by the will of Allah and will always be, especially the strength we possess to overcome whatever it may be. Don’t doubt your ability nor doubt the strength of prayer either. Change always for the better, to improve your life not to go back to the life that held you back or that made you stay in a state of mind that doubted your strength.
We constantly battle ourselves everyday of our simple or busy lives. Our battles lie within several tunnels within our mind, within our heart and our subconscious. At times it eats us away with every little bite taken, sucking out every bit of life out of you. The ones we deal with, we seem to think, it is irregular or because I am not normal because I think this way or feel this way. We constantly think of ourselves to be not of the norm. The problems we are facing in our lives seems to be only our problems and nobody can understand them. At times we say to ourselves, “nobody knows how I feel!” We let out a big sigh and we just want to escape this world through a matrix or live in a dream.
Our battles stem beyond a predisposition which in fact, we’ve injected into our own mind, allowing us to believe our problems will never go away. The battles we face are just terrifying or things we will never overcome never matter the advice given. No matter who is listening and no matter who is giving the advice. The sad fact is, we seem to be comfortable staying there as we’ve constantly embedded this thought of these battles never ending. Whether it has to do with our appearance, the jobs we have, the relationship issues we face with our family or our spouse. The battles seem terrifying to let go, so as the days, months, years go on, we are still in the same predicament. When I mean let go, I do not mean, end these relationships or get plastic surgery.
Rather I mean, be proactive in your battles. Face them head on and don’t look back. Our mind flutters with nervousness, with things that we have not even faced. We are so consumed with the future, that our present is road blocks after road blocks after road blocks preventing the future from happening. I like to say, life does not pause for you so press play on life.
You see, when we have these battles, nothing in our lives remains the same. You know this and I know this. Our smile turns into this big ugly frown. The bags under our eyes have formed because of the tears and the lack of sleep. The relationship between you and your spouse has become distant, even with your parents.
If we were to really think about all this. All the problems we are going through. We would obviously like to put the blame on others. It makes us feel less guilty about the situations we are in. He did this, they did that, I explained, they won’t listen and it goes until the list never ends. When one blame gets countered, we come up with another just so we feel less guilty. This in fact is true. Regardless of the situations you are in or have been in, lets face it, the blame game is the most easiest one to play because it makes us feel as if we are the victims. You may be in fact the victim but you have played a role in becoming the victim in the first place. Knowingly or unknowingly we’ve put ourselves there because of either a lack of communication between family members, between your spouse. When it comes to appearance we constantly compare ourselves to others and this brings down our self-esteem. We are not content with the way we look. We are not content with how our lips, nose, eyes, hands or something we have been blessed with, while it has been taken away from another, we are unhappy with.
The first step in facing our battles is facing them every single day our lives. No matter what it takes. No matter what is in your way. No matter even if takes you to lift up a car as if you are the Incredible Hulk and toss it, you have to be proactive in overcoming your battles. Life is about being proactive. It just doesn’t simply happen. Allah SWT says in the Quran and this should be a reminder for all of us. In Surah Ar’Rad, Allah SWT says: “Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” How true is this verse in the Quran? We all have applied this verse every single day our of lives. You may ask, how? I don’t understand, how? When you and I are feeling hungry, what do we do? We change the condition of our hunger. When we are sleepy, what do we do? We change the condition our tired bodies and rest them. You may say, this is all too simple because it is applied through repetition, as it has become the norm for us.
You see, the solution to your battles is all so simple. You’ve probably answered; it is simple because I do it everyday. Did you read and hear yourself correctly? I do it everyday. It is because you’ve made the effort of attempting to change the condition of hunger, so you eat. It is because you’ve made the effort of attempting change the condition of your tired body, so you sleep. You now understand, it is all about application, for your brain to process what it needs to understand that YOU are in control. You cannot hesitate as you did not hesitate to eat or sleep, even though it is simple and it has become the norm.
In order to face your battles everyday, you must apply a solution and be proactive in finding if that solution will work. With your appearance, you must accept everything about you and also remember, there is someone else with less of the blessings you have but have accepted them and are happy. You can obviously change your weight but you must do it for the correct reasons and not be extreme in it either. You can become fit or whatever it is you want to be. Even the battles you have with your spouse or your family members, your parents, face them. Readily accept them, face them and address them. Most issues in life don’t get addressed because we are afraid to address them, which only sinks our ship of communication which we are supposed to use. We use it with our friends, our co-workers and even with strangers but we are afraid to voice ourselves to people we love. How odd is that?
Today, whatever the battles you face. You must apply a method, a solution, a plan in order to conquer them. The battles need to be addressed, they don’t need to pile up and then it is an odd battle but you have to outnumber them within your mind. Within your voice. Within your understanding that these battles are unnecessary and have only caused a great deal of stress in my life, which has put a short coming to me being successful in my marriage. With me being happy about my appearance. With me having a better relationship with my parents. With me just being happy with myself, no matter the circumstances in my life. You must begin this proactive life in order for you to live a life with happiness. With contentment, with an understanding that these battles are no longer a priority in your life. YOU are the priority in your life. Your happiness is the priority. Learn to accept yourself and everything around you, while being proactive in changing the conditions with a smile on your face. No, really, with a smile on your face. Acceptance is the first step, communicating is second, being proactive is the third and being happy completes it. Do your part, tie your camel and then leave the rest to Allah SWT.
Don’t doubt yourself because your ability is superior to what you’ve assumed about yourself all this time. There are only 3 words you need to know. I can, I will, I must. Apply these words and walk forward, through those doors and accomplish, break down what you’ve always feared, which are your battles in life. You’ve been capable all this time and you know you are capable. So go ahead, do it. Press play on life.
We all have choices in our lives when people began to enter our lives. We have a choice to either let them stay or let them go but in some situations, we let them stay because we have those thoughts and feelings, even when they screw up, they will change. The mistake we seem to be making too often, is allowing those same types of people entering our lives all the time. In hopes, they change. In hopes, that our fantasy of a fairytale ending will come true. In hopes, that things will go over smoothly and life will begin to bloom beautifully like a flower.
Nothing changes, except the condition of our hearts and minds. Each time you cry over this person, your heart aches. Your mind begins to create a scenario where you’ll end up lonely. Those sleepless nights only extend for a much longer period of time as you think of the person, who is not thinking of you. We all are able to control somethings in our lives. Some signs are given through ishtikhara (seeking goodness in Allah) and some signs are there as soon as they become apparent but we become blind over this lust, that we call love.
Walking out of a bad situation, when you know your heart aches, your pillow is wet, and your days become more depressing because that person, is the only one you want and it is their attention you crave. While your attention is only noticed when they want to be noticed and then they get angry, when you dish out what they’ve been offering. Do not be the door in their lives. Rather be the exit that leads you to more doors and more signs. That will allow you to be loved the way you feel, you need to be loved and appreciated .
No one deserves to be taken advantage of. No one deserves to be thrown aside, then picked up and dropped again as the other person pleases. You are in control of certain situations. You are in control of who should exit and enter your life. The person who causes misery, hurt and only needs your comfort when their life is boring or dull, does not deserve to be there. You are better than that and you know you deserve better than that. Don’t give your tears away to a person that does not care. Don’t sacrifice your sleep for a person who doesn’t want to be apart of your life. Don’t chase a person who doesn’t respond, you are not beggar. You are a person built with qualities that are golden in the eyes of so many but you only think being gold in front of one, who doesn’t deserve you. You are a person built with unique gifts that would be accepted and loved by so many but the one you spent your unique gifts on, doesn’t appreciate you.
Be the solution for the problems. Don’t cause them to pile up for someone who doesn’t neatly pile them sort them with you. You deserve better. Walk out of that persons life and be the reason and solution for your happiness which you deserve.
Allah SWT will provide for you. Don’t EVER lose hope because one is lost while billions are waiting to be found and touched by you. You are the cause of hope, happiness, excitement in other people’s life. Don’t lose it all because of one person who doesn’t deserve you and never has appreciated you. Chin up, smile and say you can do it. There is nothing like reassuring yourself when life is falling down and you are staying positive.
Insha’Allah, things will pass over just as rain passes over and then there is sunshine. Behind every cloud. After every night, there is sunshine. Don’t ever lose hope. Love who you are.