Perception, Confidence: Ugly Or Beautiful

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Many times I come across people telling me, they think they are ugly. They aren’t beautiful or handsome enough to get married. No one in this world has the right whether to tell you if you are ugly or beautiful. If others tell you, you are ugly, know it is an opinion but if you tell yourself you are ugly, you end up believing it, then it becomes a fact to no one other than you.

This world is filled with beautiful individuals and even the most “ugliest” people are really beautiful, shining like stars because they have something you are missing and have been missing for a very, very, very, long time, which is confidence. Whenever an individual tells them they are ugly, they brush it off because they know an opinion will do nothing for them and a person’s perception of me, are just merely words, not facts. They go on with their day, full of confidence, believing in themselves, believing they’ve been created beautifully by the creator of the heavens and the earth. They never have a lack of belief because they believe confidently in themselves that Allah subhana wata’ala did not create an ugly person in this world. They wake up feeling beautiful and accepted by their own acceptance and they don’t long for the acceptance of others, as it will vanish, while accepting thyself is by far the most important thing.

What people who feel are ugly do, they long for the acceptance of others. They live off the compliments, making them feel beautiful. While those who have already accepted themselves, appreciate the person in the mirror and are not looking for compliments from others, asking to be accepted and being told, they are beautiful or handsome.

What people who feel are ugly need to do, is have firm belief that Allah subhana wata’ala created them beautifully and there has not been in error in their physical selves. They should not compare their beauty to someone else’s because little do they know, they may want something you have. Instead of longing for acceptance and being told they are beautiful, they need to tell themselves, they are beautiful. It is not egotistical, it is not being a narcissistic or stuck up, it is called confidence. You need to wake up and tell yourself, you are beautiful or handsome and that an opinion from someone else, especially negative, saying Im ugly, are just words that don’t reflect who I am as a person.

Beauty is not only in the physical but it is also about the person you are. So a person that may look beautiful or handsome from the outside, may actually be ugly on the inside, this may in fact, rot their appearance when they speak because of the lack of manners they carry. Instead of constantly working on your physical self, work on the inner part, so when you do become old, wrinkled, your personality will speak for you, which will emanate beauty from your soul and the words you speak.

Being beautiful or handsome is all about perception and the only persons perception that matters, is yours, so make sure it is a good one filled with confidence. You can paint your face on, get a plastic surgery, buy compliments and likes but if you don’t feel beautiful or handsome within yourself, those are only temporary feelings which will disappear. While accepting yourself, believing in yourself and being confident in how you were created will never disappear. It will only strengthen as you get old. Learn to accept yourself and be confident, it will change the world around you and help you feel better every single day, insha’Allah (if Allah wills).

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Food For Thought III

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Think good of yourself and receive your trials in life as a blessing and take things you are turned away from as blessings. Be confident in yourself because no one else can be confident for you. For there are many things about yourself that others love, that you hate but they wish and pray they could have. You are an unlimited potential that limits yourself from the confine of your mind, being trapped and afraid of how the world will react to your intelligence, to the skills and abilities Allah SWT has blessed you with. The ugliness inside of you needs work more than the ugliness on your face because it will disappear in a few years but the ugliness inside of you, on your heart will remain for decades or however long you live, which will ruin the person you are.

No heart turns cold or bitter unless you want it to. Your experiences are nothing but lessons to enable you to grasp the reality of this world and what you are really here for. You strive for this world but Allah says: “This world is nothing but play an amusement.” And there after in the same verse, Allah SWT says: “But far better is the house in the hereafter.” [6:32] Your success will begin with your salah and the hardest things to achieve always give the most joy, so begin with Fajr salah and bring ease to your day.

Your capabilities are boundless but you must remain attached to the success bringer and only is He who can give you success. Never be arrogant with what you have nor feel superior to anybody, as what you may be given as a blessing, may turn into a trial due to how you handle it and show others. Your skin is just a colour, a pigment to the eye, just as your face but that is never telling of the person you are, so be good to others no matter the treatment they put you through.

Never chase anybody in this life because those who are meant to stay, will stay regardless of your downfalls and struggles but those who are meant to leave, will leave because they were never meant to be the piece to complete your life’s puzzle. Be as you say you are and do as you say, do your best to keep your word, so you remain a trustworthy individual. Say the truth even if it is against yourself and against those closest to you, as this is what Muslim is supposed to do.

Don’t wish ill for nobody because wishing ill for others will bring ill to your heart and blacken it. Pray for others, wish them good, just as you have been given good. Don’t take advantage of the vulnerable but give them guidance to show them the way. Don’t say nothing about others they don’t like because your good deeds will be needed on the day it matters the most.

Your time is your most valuable asset, so spend it well and only give to those who will receive and treat it well. Love those who show you endless love and do your best to give it equally, as they show you how valuable you are to them. Life is full of worries and stress but one sujood makes it all better, so keep your salah close and tears for the one who can give you an end to your hardships.

Smile as often as possible because each day you wake up is a blessing others have not received. Eat well, treat your body right and see it give you your rights. In the end, you only have one life and 24/hours, do not waste it worrying and complaining cause you have so much to give and live for. Spend it well, goto towards success (salah) and see your life become easier as you are leaving everything to the one who has given you everything.

You Can Be So Much More

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I want you all to help me understand something. This current trend that is happening around the world today. I just simply can’t understand why people are taking this route? Do people want to be remembered simply because of this?

I am talking about the current trend of women, particularly Muslim women either aspiring to be hijab fashion experts or make up artists. I never understood why there seems to be a growing trend of this? Don’t you women want to be remembered for more than just that? I understand, women love beauty and want look beautiful either for themselves or their husband but ask yourself what are you really teaching these women or young women on the other side watching your videos?

If all they are are seeing is a glamoured up woman or soon to be through out the video, what message are you sending them? They are not learning anything that benefits the soul. Tomorrow when they decide to follow your instructions, all they have fixed is the flaws in the physical, while the eternal is still broken. They have not learned how to fix their self esteem. They have not learned anything about the deen (religion) except to wear the hijab in a more trendy way. They have not learned how to accept the person they are. All they have learned is how to look beautiful and how to fit in with the trendy hijab fashions.

Ask yourself, years from now do you want to be remembered just for that? A woman on youtube along with millions of others on there showing other women how to look beautiful? What about wanting others how to feel beautiful? Is that too much to ask? What about teaching women about their deen (religion)? You do know that Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) one of the prophets wives taught many of the shahabas (companions) about the deen? You can be so much more! I know you can be but for some odd reason you choose to only show women how to be beautiful or how to tie your hijab in a different way.

Ladies. My sisters in Islam, I have nothing against you. I only write this because I am worried of this growing trend, which does not benefit the soul. It does not shape or a mould a positive image. A positive image is not one who looks beautiful but one who accepts themselves and feels beautiful regardless whether they wear make up or not. Teach these women to accept themselves. Teach these women about the Qur’an and Sunnah. Teach these women how to be leaders and not followers. Teach these women how not to fall into the traps of men who just want to dog them. Teach these women how to aspire to be more than just what others tell them to be. Teach them they are capable of anything they put their mind to. Teach them negativity destroys the soul. Teach them that make up will not solve your issues no matter how much of it you put on. Teach them how to find a good husband. Teach them how to be a good wife. Teach them how to be better Muslims. Teach them something that will affect and change their lives forever. Not something that will change the colour of their lips, eyelids and cheeks. All this is temporary because you know once that is washed off, they are still broken eternally and have not learned not to accept themselves.

I know, I’ll get hate for this. I don’t care. You can write hateful comments to me. You can call me a hater. You can call me ugly. You can say, brother, why do you care what women do, lower your gaze. Say it, write it, it comes with the territory I’m walking into. I just wanted to speak my mind about this topic and this growing trend that seems to affect a lot of people but does not change the condition of their souls. Benefit society at the same time. Benefit others at the same time and still show women how to look beautiful. Share a positive message with others, not just how to look beautiful and how to wear the hijab. You can be so much more and you can teach so much more. I know you can. You come from the best lineage of women and you can be amongst and remembered for one of the best of women. Affect the soul, mind and heart because after beauty fades, that is the only thing that will remain.

Masking Your Insecurities

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Wearing make up to mask your insecurities will not mask what you have hidden deep inside. Learn to be confident about yourself and learn that beauty is not defined by the exterior of a person. At the end of the night, that make up is washed off but your insecurities are still there, what have you solved? Learn to see the beauty within yourself and know that Allah SWT has created you beautifully in a unique way. You are blessed. You are attractive and you have what others wish they have in the physical or your characteristic traits but they don’t tell you. Say you are beautiful and believe you are beautiful and nothing less. Battle your insecurities, don’t mask them.

The Power Of –

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Many times after helping someone, weeks or months later I’ll receive an email or a message stating how much I’ve helped them overcome something in their life. I just sit back and think, did I really do anything? When I think of what I actually did, I just simply made you believe in yourself which is something you’ stopped doing for a very, very long time. All you needed was reassurance of who you are, what you can become and what you are capable of doing. I didn’t do anything except make you tap into your God given abilities that were hidden all along. I didn’t make you strong. I didn’t make you happy. I didn’t fight your fears. All I did was give you a few or hundreds of words of reassurance and you followed your heart with a strong belief all along. I am not capable of making you do anything. You are capable of all this yourself, with a little push of course.

A lot of times, we forget to look ourselves in the mirror. We often do look in it but we don’t look inside ourselves and see who we really are. Under all of this anger, depression, fear, heartbreak, lust, desires, there is a great person in there all along that has hidden themselves because you’ve allowed another individual to hold power over you. Behind those eyes and the tears falling, there is a strong individual that has allowed another individual to have power over you. You are what you think of yourself. If you think you are a scared individual, that is who you are. If you think you are not a strong individual, that is who you are. If you think you can never move on from your past, that is who you are. Don’t allow yourself to have a negative thought process that begins with a memory of something of the past, which has gone, just like the clothes that you outgrew. Each of those memories, especially a negative one prevents you from tapping into your God given abilities to be who you are supposed to become.

You, especially YOU, prevent yourself from moving on to seeing this potential. From revealing this beautiful gift, this soul, this life to the world and the people around you. That is YOU. I often say, so many people rely on you for happiness and how you make their day but you concentrate on those who suck your life dry, trying to make them happy and make their day, while they destroy your life. People appreciate you but you want to appreciate the one that will never appreciate you. Allah has given you everything in your life, the ability to think, reflect, intelligence, talent, skills, characteristics and so much more that others don’t have but you often forget those, while concentrating on another persons blessings which will never be yours.

You are the person who can make difference in your life by seeing what you have before you. By appreciating those around you and forgiving and moving on from those who hurt you. Who despise you. Who want to destroy your life. It takes strength to do it but believe, it is something you’ve been built with. Don’t say, I don’t have it in me. Don’t think you don’t have it in you but BELIEVE you have it in you. You are indeed a special individual who… no matter what you are going through today, you are going to blossom, grow out of this cocoon that you see yourself trapped in and become even more stronger, more beautiful than you’ve ever been just like that butterfly.

I cannot do anything for you, neither can others. We can only show you who you are, what you are capable of and what your abilities are, after that, it is your choice and a choice is powerful. So make the right one by believing all of this, especially this blessing you call life. Don’t take it for granted. Don’t regret it by allowing another individual to live it for you. You only have one, so protect it, value it, control it as much as possible and let Allah take care of the rest, smile, live, love and most important of all, love who you are and love who you will become. You are capable of anything you put your mind to, so don’t put your mind to those who pay you no mind and will never want to see you succeed. Allah will continue to bless you so accept this blessing called life and live it happily by identifying the person inside and knowing it is the person inside that counts and will measure up with time, while time will erase your looks. Be who you are supposed to become, don’t question it. Just follow your heart, do what you love to do every day of your life and become it. Break out of those cuffs that have you tied up and be free. You are capable of all this. Never stop believing and never stop believing in yourself. It’ll take you along way. Believe in yourself, be confident and let Allah do the rest for you.

Begin, today.

What Is It That You Look For?

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If you can capture someone with your personality why the need to show off your physical beauty? Is it the confidence that you lack, that you would rather live off of compliments or is your character not enough, that you have to prove to others that your physical beauty should be more than enough? Is it respect you look for or do compliments hold more weight than respect? Well, if it is respect you‘re looking for, why does it have to be earned through showing off your physical beauty? Now, if it is compliments you’re looking for, again why does it have to inflate your self worth, if you know what you are worth? Compliments about your physical beauty, hold as little weight as possible because everyone is just seeing the external. While respect is earned through your character, that is the internal part of you. When someone is able to accept the internal part of you, the external will automatically come.

As long as you feel your external is worth more than your internal, you will be constantly attracting the wrong type of individuals in your life who look and feel only your external. While your internal is as beautiful and powerful as your external, only for it to be forgotten because your external is held at such a high place in their eyes, they would rather forget what you really are in the internal.

Only you can change the view of others by seeking inside yourself, knowing your self worth. When you do realize, it’s not only about the external image but it’s the internal that lasts you a life time and evolves as you evolve but your external image fades as you age.

You Are Unique In Your Own Beautiful Way

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Each of us are beautifully unique in our own way. With our skills, abilities, personality and character and many do not recognize this. We live in a society where everything is compared to other people’s lives as if our own is not unique and blessed itself. Each persons blessings and gifts are different but it is constantly subjected to where what they have, is what we should have and the blessings we have are just not enough or worthy enough to be thankful for. Let’s stop trying to “keep up with the Jones” and keep up with ourselves. If we do that we would be much happier with everything in our lives because we are happy everything Allah has blessed us with. You are different and every person on the planet is different. Blessed with a different lifestyle, character, personality, and it’ll always be that way. If you waste your life comparing and trying to keep up, you’ll fail living your life while trying to compete with people who aren’t even competing with you. You are in your own race, trying to build a life of your own with everything you’ve been blessed with and not with others blessings that never reach your hands. Only do as much as you can and be happy with what you’ve been blessed with. You’ll live a much more happier life.