Children, Their Naturalness & How We Lost Ours

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When we look at kids, we see how they are not self-conscious of themselves. They don’t care how their hair looks, their nose, the size of their body or anything of that sort. They stay active through out the day, utilizing their bodies as tools or toys to toss around the living room or in the park. They are care free to what others around them are saying. Their level of self-conscious does not exist at such a high level and everything seems to revolve around “fun”, being adventurous and courageous. Eventually, the child grows and that level of self-conscious kicks in. My nose is shaped this way, my body is too skinny or too big, I need to fix or colour my hair. Their youth, courageousness, adventurous selves becomes lost along the way because they’ve developed this self-conscious thinking and the perception of others.

Everything now becomes about perception. What will others think? What will others say if I do a certain thing like this? Will I lose my friends if they think I am weird? This level of thinking never existed as children because what mattered was to please ourselves and nobody else around.

As parents, they are also a building force behind how a child perceives themselves and grows into the best version of themselves or a parent is the destruction force behind their children’s confidence and the ability to tap their own God given talents.

Is it to say, we as adults have lost our way? Lost our own naturalness because pleasing the people is more important in the long term? The short term effects makes us feel great but deep down inside, we know this not genuine and eventually, the feeling fades. We’ve become extremely self-conscious of ourselves that we don’t know at times what is like to be ourselves because we are trying to be everybody else.

The child that was adventurous and brave, becomes entrapped into a society, a way of thinking what will others think, so they close off themselves to being adventurous or brave. The child inside of us becomes caged into a cycle of life based around perception. What is beautiful and what is not? What is rich and what is poor? What fashionable and what is not? As Islam teaches, it is about piety, level of connection with Allah SWT.

If we continue to please everyone around us and never please ourselves, when will we ever become ourselves? When will we ever see the naturalness we have lost and let it escape? We’ve grown into this wild idea that if others are doing a certain thing this way, then it must be correct but as children, we always found a different way. We always invented new things to explore or create. Now, we don’t even think on that level because we have become too busy with things that matter more to others than it matters to us. We’ve surrounded ourselves, our brains to be exact in other peoples ideas or minds. Not to be selfish of course because there is no need to be selfish but the need to be constantly self-conscious in a way that all we think about is the perception of others or how we will fit in.

Parents who are reading or uncles or aunts who have nieces or nephews and parents that are expecting, groom your child into the best version of themselves by allowing them to be natural. Helping them tap their God given abilities and never let them lose their naturalness as we have. Just look at a child in any room and how the only thing matters is happiness of themselves, while we are so worried about the happiness of others and what others will think. There is nothing wrong with having a level of self-consciousness because we will be questioned about our health and our actions but concentrate on being you. It’s important to be yourself and to please yourself more than it is to constantly please other people, while we drown in misery attempting to please them. Most importantly, pleasing Allah SWT matters more than anything in the world. Be you. Don’t worry what others think. Have fun. As long as it is permissible in Islam, then do it and love it!

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I’ve Come To Realize Something

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You know what? I’ve realized something in this almost 26 years of life of mine that… Im not a type of person to be confined to something. Im not the type of person who likes to be told what to do and just follow what is being told, except of course, what is already established in Islam. Im the type of person who likes to experience life first hand. I like to go out and explore things, whether I succeed or I fail. Whether I come out on top with the best trophies or I come out with nothing. I like to experience life for what is given at that moment. I noticed that, I don’t fear much in my life, except Allah SWT. I like to go out and do things with confidence. With the belief that what I am about to do, I am going to do it to the best of my abilities. I am going to go there and give everything I have. Thinking that I failed is not an option because I believe experience is the best type of “schooling”, learning a person can receive. A lot of people in my opinion would rather just learn through memorization and say, “I am smart!” or “i’ve learned such and such.” Im not that type of person. I’ve noticed through out my life, I am a person who starts something, an idea, a goal and do my best to at least give it a shot or finish it, whether I succeed or not. I make sure I go through everything that has been put there before I say, “hold up! this isn’t for me.” The most I can come out with is experience.  It’s something I can live to tell others about. It’s something I can go back years from now and say, I did such and such. Of course there are things in my life which I am not proud of and may Allah SWT forgive me but it has shaped me into the individual I am today. Am I pleased with who I am today? Alhumdulilah, I can say proudly, I am pleased with who I am today but there is so much more that needs to be worked on. There is so much more that needs to be shaped and formed until the day I am put 6ft deep and meeting Allah SWT.

Nobody can live your life for you. Nobody can tell you how to live, except of course again, what has already been established by Allah SWT already and the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him). I love to experience life! I love to be put out there and just be who I am. Im a very social person and anybody, literally anybody I come across I will start a conversation with them. I don’t have a massive circle of friends but I’m a very social person. I LOVE EXPERIENCE! Which is why I guess, i got fed up with school and never finished college. This does not mean, I am not an “educated” person. People often at times misuse the word educate as if, the only people who are educated are those given a certificate and spent hundreds and thousands of hours in school, sitting in front of someone telling them what to do and how to learn. You and I know this is incorrect because there are floods of people who are successful without the degrees and diplomas. You know why? It’s because they didn’t fear what they were about to do. They would rather have experienced life, instead of being told they weren’t going to be successful. They never jailed their mind to a person telling them, they will NEVER, rather they already made a pledge, an agreement in their mind, “I will do, might fail and then live to tell it and succeed!” This is how I view myself. In always a positive light. In always a way of experience, rather than “well this person told me this and this person told me that!” No, that is never me! I like to put be put on the spot. I like to feel, touch, taste. Now don’t get any perverted thoughts by those words you sickos! Get your mind out of the gutter!

My philosophy is experience life. Do your best to keep things in a halal manner but this does not mean, go out commit zina, get a woman pregnant or get pregnant and then say “well… this was definitely a bad experience.” No, that was a dumb one because you already knew what Allah SWT had already told you but you went even further. Experience life! There is soooooo much to do but you disable that program you call brain and just fear for your life because you are afraid of failing! You are afraid of being embarrassed. You are afraid of being told, you are weird or crazy or different. Why don’t you do what others do? No one can live for you! They will talk about you even if you didn’t do it and if you did do it, they’ll criticize you for it but who cares! You are living for yourself and living to attain jannah! Never for others.

I live for me and I live to experience life! Not through anyone else. Not through a television set or books but first hand experience with myself in the picture. Never confined but free and able to use my mind as I please. Allah SWT has blessed me in a unique way, just as He has be blessed you in a unique way. Why want to be like others, when everyone else is trying to be like them too? Be unique! Stand out but be smart with your actions. Live for experiences not for what ifs and what is that person going to say. It doesn’t matter! Love who you are because no one except Allah SWT is going to love you as much as you do. That’s the way I see it. I might sound like a narcissist but eh, again, who cares! Im proud to love myself and I always will. I’ll never allow another person to lock me in a box and think like them. I am a FREE person, just as you are! I think outside the box, not in it. Thinking inside the box is thinking just like others. Thinking outside the box, is broadening your horizon. Pushing the limits which you’ve set or what others have set for you. Not being comfortable. Not being afraid to fail. Not being afraid to be criticized by others. Not being afraid to stand up for yourself when you don’t believe in something but others do and follow it blindly.

This who I am and this what I’ve come to realize this after all these years. Maybe I do change but insha’Allah it is for the better! I only and always want to change for the better and never for the worse. The purpose of change is to go for something better, never worse. You come out of poverty to live in middle class and then to luxury if Allah wills. You move up in life. You go from McDonalds that makes you feel like crap to something that makes you feel extremely energetic and happy. Be proud of you!!!!!! Alhumdulilah (Praise be to Allah) I am….