Before You Get Married Know…..

Jahiliyyah

Some very important advice for those who intend to get married

Know what Islam teaches about marriage extremely well and what is permissible and impermissible in the marriage contract and what you and your spouse can agree to. Some families think that people are ignorant about Islam and they can implement whatever they want in the contract and ask for unrealistic conditions that are obviously from jahiliyaa (pre-islamic) and people will just agree. Some people also put high prices on their daughters for mahr and other things in hopes that one day, there is a divorce and the ex-husband has to pay a lump sum. Some families get their daughters married hoping, a divorce happens one day, so they are entitled to riches due them following something that isn’t even from Islam. It is absolutely sick that parents intend to marry their daughters hoping they get a divorce, so they can leave with money or gold. As if, their daughters are an item and a price tag has to be agreed to either on the mahr or during a divorce period. Whatever you and your spouse agree to in the marriage contract is what you abide by. Your parents can threaten you with a knife, call you disgusting names, hit you but know that Allah is protecting you just as you are protecting your rights in Islam, which He has given. Don’t allow no family, no matter if they are kings, princess, prime ministers, presidents, to walk all over you and ask you to agree to unrealistic and unislamic demands that could never, ever be met. This is why it is so important to know the deen (religion) so when it is time for you to get married, you know what is permissible and what is not. You know your rights and you give each other their rights. And always, always, always, put your spouse first. Fight for them, be with them and don’t allow any man or woman to abuse them, even if it is their own family. Speak up, stand your ground, be firm and be blunt, protect each others honour. Grow to love each other, respect, and spend time with each other in order for you two to adapt to each others likes and dislikes so you can better understand each other. Pay attention to each others needs and don’t expect the marriage to be only about you and then your spouse. Marriage isn’t about yourself but it is about the two of you and Allah has given the husband and wife rights that they must honour. Don’t abuse them, be at peace, make amends, wipe away tears, give hugs, be compassionate, merciful and forgive each other. Don’t hold any grudges either. Most importantly, put Islam first and insha’Allah, you will be successful.

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2 thoughts on “Before You Get Married Know…..

  1. Pingback: Before You Get Married Know….. | MSSN IKEJA AREA COUNCIL

  2. Jazak Allah Khair, nice and useful post. This might be slightly irrelevant but it’s still about marriage practices…My husband and I went back to Bangladesh for the wedding ceremonies and we said to everyone that we will not have music. Sure, we did many other things that we shouldn’t have done at the wedding but we weren’t to that level of imaan yet and we were trying our best with how much we could abide by Islamic practices. But let me tell you, it was so hard to get everyone on board. Our cousins were so annoyed by us and made fun of my mom and I for sticking to our guns. It was really a pain to get music out of the ceremony. But you know what, we stuck to it and after the wedding was over, many people commended us and told us that because we took that difficult first step towards change, it may inspire others and hopefully more people can do the same thing. It’s almost unheard of in Bangladesh to not have music at weddings. We pretty much follow Bollywood nowadays and even the bride and groom and their friends dance Bollywood style at wedding ceremonies nowadays. Not judging, just stating what’s happening nowadays and how much it is looked down on to revert back partially of fully to Islamic ways. Anyways, what I’m trying to say is that our generation needs to make the change now…even though it will be hard to fight the ways of our culture. But it will make it easier for the following generations, In Shaa Allah.

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