Life isn’t going how you hoped and a lot of things didn’t go your way. You worked extremely hard for that test, exam, projects and many other things. You had hoped to marry that individual after having nothing but good feelings and signs, as you thought, Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala was allowing the marriage to happen but it didn’t go your way. Today, you feel like your life is a mess and you can’t seem to understand what is going on or how it happened.
Insha’Allah (if Allah wills), I will give you some solutions on how to get over it
1. Everything is by the permission of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala
You might be thinking in your head, how come? Why did this happen to me? What could I have done to prevent this? As long as you did your best to make things right, you should be proud of yourself not and kick yourself over it. Everything is by the will and permission of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala does say in the Qur’an:
“Not a leaf falls but that He knows it. And no grain is there within the darknesses of the earth and no moist or dry [thing] but that it is [written] in a clear record.” [6:59]
Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala also says:
“Indeed, all things We created with predestination.” [54:49]
This does not mean Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala wants something bad for you but in something not going your way is good and a trial itself. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala tests those whom He loves and He wants you to turn to Him.
The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “The greatest reward comes from the greatest trial. When Allah loves people, He tests, and whoever accepts it gains the pleasure of Allah and whoever complains earns his wrath.” [Tirmidhi]
Take it as a sign that Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala loves you, accept it with gratitude and be humble. You are a chosen in this hardship which you perceive is bad for you but will only increase your ranks in jannah (heaven). Turn to Him and only He will help you out of this situation.
2. What Has Being Sad Done?
You may have been sad for a few days, weeks or months but what has it done for you? Has it helped your situation or made it worse? Did it change the situation you were once in? No, it hasn’t. While accepting the qadr of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala, you need to start being positive about this outcome. You may say, I can’t, my body won’t let me. Im too sad to get over it. This is too hard. You are only saying that because you’ve allowed yourself to believe that. I know you want to get over it and move on with your life but you need to pick yourself up and start moving your feet. You can’t be negative thinking this has been bad for you. Maybe if you moved on with your life and accepted this, good things starting happening? Just because one door closes, doesn’t mean another door isn’t opening. And just because you may have failed in something, doesn’t mean you won’t succeed in something else. Behind every successful person, there’s a lot of unsuccessful years. Everything will take time but it is time for you to move on with your life.
3. Life Is Going On With Or Without You
Tomorrow is going to come, the date is going to change, the sun is going to go up, then go down and the moon is going to appear. A minute goes by without your permission and then an hour, and then a full day. Do you see, life doesn’t need your permission and the universe doesn’t need your permission to change. In a few weeks, months or next year, you will get older without your permission. Every single day is precious and you are wasting it by sulking in something that you cannot no longer change. What you can do though is change the condition you are in now. You can start moving on with your life and start to plan for better things. You can be optimistic about better things to come. Don’t wait until you are 40 or 60 or even close to death, wishing you moved on with your life, instead of being broken up about something that was out of your control. You have the ability to change your condition, your sadness by looking at things in a positive way and moving on with life, just as each day is moving on without you.
4. Say Alhumdulilah (thanks to Allah)
Say Alhumdulilah (thanks to Allah ) for guiding you away from possible harm in which you thought was a blessing. Your life may have even turned for the worse if that particular thing did happen. Maybe it would have led you away from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and instead, it has brought you closer and this is increasing your ranks in jannah every single day you are alive. How beautiful is that you are being rewarded with what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has promised in his glorious Quran? The fruits of jannah, the rivers of jannah and the house in jannah, all because you stayed patient and you thanked Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala for it. There is no better reward in this life ever and the reward in the hereafter is much better so aim for that.
Insha’Allah, this has helped you overcome or even helped you feel a bit better about what you have went through in your life. Take advantage of every breathe, take advantage of every single day you are alive. You aren’t going to be able to press rewind on it, so live it like it is your last. Don’t let life bring you down and don’t allow your failures to prevent you from being successful and don’t allow the hardships of this life, take you away from the blessings you have been given.
If you have any questions or need advice, please feel free to email me at:
Also, I have a written a self-help book titled “The Strongest Version Of Yourself” which covers issues just like this and many more. The PDF version is currently pay whatever you want or download it for free.
https://payhip.com/b/3FdM (Pay What You Want – PDF Version)
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QFUJQHW ($4.99 – Kindle Version)
JazakAllah khair for reading 🙂