Why Are We Struggling To Get Married?



Why are we struggling to get married?

First, our parents put too many expectations on your spouse to be. They expect that individual to be of your origin and from your village. Then, the degree, wealth and career choice. It’s not common for parents to worry about deen because some how it isn’t important.

Second, our expectations. Beautiful, handsome, ethnicity, what type of degree and career choice. Sometimes I absolutely hear really stupid things. like “If they don’t have a degree, how can they have an intellectual conversation?” C’mon, bruh, really? Once again, It’s not common for us to worry about deen.

Want to make getting married easier? Make sure that individual is at least practicing Islam to the best of their ability. Anyone can wear a hijab. Anyone can grow a beard but it is the actions of the limbs and tongue that matter most. If they have that, then look at them. Are they attractive to you? Do you see what you like? OK good, if they do. Next, make sure you are compatible. You two get along. Can make each other laugh and smile. That individual is open minded and understanding. They have goals. Long term and short term.

Money? It is needed but not an excessive amount. Degrees? Cool if you have, cool if you don’t. If that individual doesn’t have deen, then you as a Muslim, they aren’t right for you. Deen is what will run the family and raise the kids. Without it, you are lost. You need that individual to be upon the Quran and Sunnah, not upon misguidance and innovations.

Easy as written? I wish! let’s make it easy then. As parents and spouses to be.

7 thoughts on “Why Are We Struggling To Get Married?

  1. A brother with Deen has become a rarity in this day and age, WAllaahi.

    It has come to a point where I have to turn down brothers with college degrees and big cars because they seem to have everything but the Deen. My parents are beginning to feel that I may be too “picky”, because the sort of person I am looking for just doesn’t exist within my community. Allaahul musta’aan.

    • Both have become a rarity simply because people or parents have put more emphasis on materialistic goals. Degrees and wealth. Those are nice but it doesn’t fulfill the obligations that need to be at the forefront of our lives, you know? It’s tough these days. When you do find someone who has that, the parents then stand in your way because of either your skin colour, your tribe or something extremely ridiculous.

      Im sure he does exist but in time he will show up. Just be patient, he is out there. Don’t give up or be disappointed.

      • Did you just write salafs? You are a salafi? BAD BAD! No, I am joking. I just get that type of response a lot of times lol

        Ameen and you’ll get him. Don’t worry too much about it. Work on you, your relationship with Allah and who knows, that individual may be in another country already written for you. Allah knows best.

      • Oh trust me, I get that a whole lot too. My folks seem to not share the same manhaj, so when I do meet a brother who practises the Deen like our Righteous Predecessors do, some resistance will come in the form of my folks. Allaahul musta’aan. Allaah is sufficient an Aide for us all.

        JazakAllaahu khayr brother. May He grant you the same.

    • Yup! Most don’t know that they follow the way of the Ashari/Maturidi aqeeda, hanafi in fiqh, mixed with sufism but they are too busy to find out the correct manhaj. May Allah make it easy for us.

      Wayak πŸ™‚

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