Parents have a responsibility of at least meeting their children’s potential spouse. The refusal could lead to cutting off ties of kinship (which is not permissible in Islam) and the children running away together simply because you aren’t open minded about their wants and needs. Parents think they are always right in the end and what I want for my children is always best. That may be correct but at the same time, you are only looking into your wants and needs which differ from your children’s, as they are created differently.
Many times children are put into difficult situations, where it is my family or my spouse to be? Eventually, the ego within the refusal of the parents, turns into marriage happening secretly, zina (sex) where the woman ends up getting pregnant or the ties of kinship getting broken.
Parents should be open minded about meeting the individual. This is their future, as you’ have done your best to shape theirs. Not everything will go your way and they will not do everything as you have dreamed of. Islam is more than just skin colour, traditions and cultures. It is firstly, eman (faith) and good character. If that individual, spouse to be has that, allow the marriage to happen by putting your ego aside and being open minded. You have done your best to protect your best investment, which is your children but refusals after refusals and giving you an understanding will led to things that will hurt your children and hurt you.
Don’t ever allow it to lead to that point. Please, be open minded. Meet them, so your children feel as if they are important even though you made them feel that way their whole life. They want to create a future which is fitting for them, so allow them that choice as you can’t protect them their whole life. Tie your camel and leave the rest to Allah SWT.
*This article is only a follow up to another article I’ve written*