Interested In A Man For 2 Years, We Keep In Touch But (Advice) Pt 3

I have to repeat my sentence: You are totally right, Malik. And yes, it would be odd. I think I just got used to it, talking to him on weekends.
He has a cellphone, but no internet on his cellphone. So no whatsapp..
But I´m really naive,  I think  everybody acts and thinks the way I do,that people always have good intentions and are honest.
I´ve never been in such a situation, and if someone asked me I always immediately rejected in a friendly and honest way (well,to my mind). What´s so difficult in speaking truth?
The quote “ you shouldn´t wait for me, ..” is meant a bit different, as I told him that I would never reject, if my parents want me to get married to someone…to him this was not traceable.Taht´s why, I think he said that to me.
I have to forget him..sounds so easy…
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You are doing your best to defend this relationship which has gone south and decreased. You are still holding onto hope and nothing but hope. When it ends, you will be crushed because he had said from his mouth, it is not working or I am not ready to get married. There is no doubt, you are hurt now but wouldn’t it be better to at least to go while you aren’t hurt really bad?

Ask him, really, ask him, do you want to marry me? If he says, not yet or I don’t know. Then you know the answer is clear once again. Those words he told you, “you shouldn’t wait for me” are by far the most clearest words ever! It clearly states, It doesn’t matter whether I get married to you or not. If I do, then im happy, If I don’t then I am happy. A man will not say that nor a woman. They will say, we will get married, insha’Allah. Lets work it out and be patient.
Nothing is easy but it is better for your heart and better for you psychologically.
—————-
No, I won´t ask him to marry me..in that case I´m old fashioned, I know what you mean.He will never say “yes”.
It sounds like I´m still defending the relationship. But after reading your mails (thank you, thank you thank you) I realised, that I have to change something. I deleted all of his mails and skype of my computer and i have to say it felt really good..don´t know how long this feeling will last. I want to do something to delet everything that reminds me of him. Still thinking about delet my facebook account.. but secretly I´m hoping that he will regret it one day! That won´t happen..
————
Don’t delete your facebook because of him. Keep your social networks going but be careful with it. Don’t get sucked into it because a guy may speak really nice, sweet and sound genuine. Those are only words you are hearing/ready but not actions you are physically seeing, coming to see. Anyone can put words together but not everyone can live within those words and perform them.

Just do your best to stay clear of him and be occupied in other things, that will take your mind off of him. I really doubt, he will contact you because if you didn’t speak to him for 2 months and then, you contacted him 2 months later but he didn’t, then his interest wasn’t entirely there.
You are welcome 🙂 Glad, I could help.
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4 thoughts on “Interested In A Man For 2 Years, We Keep In Touch But (Advice) Pt 3

  1. InShaaAllah she gets over this guy, Its so easy to get attached to someone and then get hurt because the other person didn’t feel the same way. Islam protects us from getting into situtations like this as well as getting over them, so the best thing the sister can do is pray, pray and pray to get this guy out of her mind. May Allah bring a good guy into her life that will complete her deen. Ameen

  2. Masha’Allah brother, you have respectfully explained to her that she’s worth better than that. As our sister, I wish her all the best in life and I hope that she understands when she gives something up for the sake of Allah, he will replace that thing with something better. Even if this man eventually accepts the relationship and marries her it’s pretty clear that he would not be an attentive husband. You must never believe that with marriage a person will change. I don’t understand the ‘searching for a partner’ options of today, as I was blessed to be married at 17. However, sisters we do not need to become ‘friends’ with a man for two years or more before we marry them. If you are at a position to marry then actively search for a GOOD man. As Muslims we normally come from large families where the men should be attending Friday prayers, meeting people. The Mahrems we have, are chosen for us by Allah, so we should put our trust in Allah and search for a husband through halal means. Not a man you cannot trust and know nothing about. I’m sure you’ve all heard of the catfish show, about the dangers and shocks of the internet. It could be that this man is married taking care of his family during the week, whilst speaking with many girls during the weekend. We have been blessed with Islam so we should show our gratitude to Allah by obeying his commands of protecting our dignity and chastity. May Allah give us all the strength to overcome our desires and make easy for us the journey of finding our life long companions through life!

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