You have people talking about you? It burns you inside to find out that people are saying things that are untrue? Perhaps the things they are saying are true but they are now in the past? How do you deal with these types of situations?
The first piece of advice I’d like to give is let them. So what if they are talking about you? You seem to be of importance that they’ve taken time out of their day and spoken about you. You must be really popular or you must be doing something they wish they would have done or would be doing now. Sometimes they talk about you simply because they WANT to be like you. You are such an inspiring person that they hate that others look up to you or speak kindly of you or thank you for what you are doing. Obviously, if you are doing something good but they are being “haters”
Secondly, whatever they say about you behind your back falls under backbiting. You like free money don’t you? You like free rewards don’t you? You would like the best of everything wouldn’t you? So how about getting their rewards on the day of judgement when Allah SWT calls them to account. Their good deeds will be transferred over to you.
The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “let who has unjust his brother to purify himself from this sin by asking the forgiveness of that person before he dies. If he did not do so then on Judgment day whereas no Dinar nor Dirham exist, If he has good deeds (Hasanat) then whom he unjust will take from and if he has no good deeds (Hasanat) then whom he unjust will give him from his bad deeds (Say’aat). [Shahih Al-Bukhari]
Meaning, if you have been unjust to someone, you have backbitten about someone, some of your good deeds will goto that person and their bad deeds will be given to you.
If you love giving up rewards or things you’ve worked so hard for to enter paradise, then don’t give them up for free by speaking about someone behind their back.
Thirdly, so what if they are saying things that are true about you. Whatever you have done is between you and Allah SWT and NOBODY else. If you’ve asked for forgiveness and stayed away from whatever you’ve done, Insha’Allah, Allah SWT will forgive you. Why lose sleep or get angry because they’ve brought up things from your past? Do you live in your past? Do you wear the same clothes as you did yesterday? Probably not. Do you wear the same shoe size as you did when you were 6? Obviously not because you’ve grown. You’ve also grown to be a better person that is why, your past is not like your present.
Also Do not expose the sins of other people and do not expose the sins you’ve committed either.
The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim. So he should not oppress him nor should he hand him over to (his satan or to his self which is inclined to evil). Whoever fulfils the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfil his needs; whoever removes the troubles of his brother, Allah will remove one of his troubles on the Day of Resurrection; and whoever covers up the fault of a Muslim, Allah will cover up his fault on the Day of Resurrection.” [Shahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) also said: All of my ummah (nation of followers) will be excused, except for the mujaahireen (those who make their sins known). And verily it is a kind of mujaaharah (exposing one’s sins) that a man does something (sinful) at night, and then in the morning, when Allaah has screened his sin for him, he says, ‘Hey So-and-So! I did such-and-such last night…’ And the night passed with His Lord screening him, and he wakes up casting aside the screen of Allaah from himself.” [Shahih Al-Bukhari]
Fourthly, my last piece of advice, whatever it is you do today, whatever you’ve done yesterday and whatever is you plan to do in the future, know that people will speak about you regardless. Whether you are doing something that is beneficial for society or not, they’ll have something to say. You could be out saving the world and someone will say, “look at so and so, they think they are better than us!” So what? At least you are doing something that benefits people and society, while they are doing nothing of that sort. As long as your intentions are clean and you are doing it for the sake of Allah SWT and not to be praised or as a show off, you will be rewarded for it. Let people talk about you as much as they want. You get FREE rewards. Their good deeds come to you and your sins may goto them. You also don’t live in your past, so let it go. As long as you don’t continue to do it anymore, Insha’Allah, you will be forgiven. Time moves. The weather changes. Night comes into day and day comes into night, things change and you are not the same as you were yesterday or months or years ago. No matter what, stay focused on what you need to be focused on and keep striving. Keep being who you are and keep changing for the better. If you are doing things to help people, continue to do that. Don’t let these people who have nothing better to do than deter you away from what you are doing. You have experience in these things. You have an idea. You have a plan. You have a goal for a better tomorrow, so stick to it. Who cares. Your rewards are with Allah SWT and forgiveness is with Allah SWT and nobody else. Say Alhumdulilah and breathe…