Why Men & Women Cannot Be Friends

Image

Can Women & Men Be Friends? I will list 5 reasons below why women and men cannot be friends. In my belief, I don’t think a man and woman can EVER be friends. You see how EVER is in capitals? You must be crazy, especially if you are a man or woman, thinking “well, she/he is just my friend.” Eh, WRONG lol! Now, why have I come to accept this belief? Well there are several reasons why.

Reason #1

This is a simple one and I’m sure everyone knows this and if you don’t, then you haven’t been paying much attention to your interactions with the opposite sex, that is if you do. Im sure, we all have had interactions with the opposite sex on many occasions. If you are going to nod your head and say, “no, no, no, no, not me.”

Image

If you are a man or woman and you have friends of the opposite sex, there is a very, very, very high chance that one of them likes you. It doesn’t matter whether they want to tell you or not or they are in a relationship, there is something about YOU that they like. It could be your personality, how you two have great chemistry and get along with each other, you are very attractive. All this is in their mind but you don’t know.

Reason #2

Often at times when Reason #1 comes into play and they’ve admitted to you and you wonder, well…. what do I do now? Do I tell them I like them too? Do I not say anything? Do I keep my mouth shut? Do I say, we are just friends? Most people know the song by an artist which takes me back to my rap days… “OH BABBBY YOOOOU!! YOU GOT WHAT I NEEEEED! BUT YOU SAY IM JUST A FRIEND! BUT YOU SAY IM JUST A FRIEND!!” Yeah, that’s right, she/he says you are just a friend. You really like the person for who they are. You’ve heard about their past experiences with the opposite sex and how they’ve been hurt and you just want to give best of you to this person but you are just a friend. No matter how nice of a person you are, no matter how much attention you get from this person, you are JUST A FRIEND.

Reason #3

You are just a shoulder for that person worries, woes, and filling in a boring, gap in their life. After that, GOODBYE TO YOU!!!!! Yes, you are being used by the opposite sex because you are an absolute PERFECT shoulder, that anytime anything happens you get the call as if you are Batman/Wonder Woman ready to rescue them from their woes, worries and boring life. They may even be in a relationship but you are the one that listens to their problems. You give the advice and everything but when it is time for you… it’s “Oh, I’ve been busy” or “I am busy.” If you want to continue being that shoulder for that person, then you are more than welcome to. Oh yeah, you are like that welcome mat on people’s front door step, everyone gets to step on it whenever they want to come in and leave. Do not become that individual. Stand your ground and say “LEAVE ME ALONE!” Be blunt!

Reason #4

After giving you Reasons 1-3, which seem negative, well there is more negativity to come. Let’s say, Reasons 1-3 are working great, you two are happily in “love” and ready to get married. Due to the decree of Allah SWT, is not happening. No matter how much you try convincing the parents, the cultural barriers aren’t an issue, it just isn’t happening. You’ve done ishtikhara and things are just falling apart. What happens now? You are heart broken and can’t move on with your life. Depression kicks in, more worries, you can’t accept the decree of Allah SWT.

Reason #5

Don’t become friends with the opposite sex. Either you are in it for a gain and benefit or the other person is. One person wants something, the other doesn’t. You want to further the progression in the friendship, get married, live a great life, the other doesn’t. NO MATTER WHAT, feelings are always going to get attached. Denial, denial, denial only because they fear of being rejected by the person they like and want. So stay away from the opposite sex to guard yourself from falling for them and then getting heart broken or used. You may say, this does not happen then you haven’t seen nothing yet or it is just hard for you to believe. Trust me, it does happen and it will happen as long as you are friends with someone who is attractive with a great personality or even a crappy, a-hole personality. You are ugly, she is beautiful. You are beautiful, he is ugly. You are attracted to her, she isn’t attracted to you and vice versa. If she doesn’t want you move on and stop being such a sucka. There will be someone for you, just not her or him. Don’t get used. Be smart and steer clear of the signs they give, especially if you aren’t interested. No point in playing them and affecting them, which will turn out bad for them. Do to others what you want done for yourself.

And if you are Muslim, you already know what it is. Non-mahram. If you aren’t serious about each other, cut the line playa!!!

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Why Men & Women Cannot Be Friends

  1. I disagree with you. You can be just friends! Of course it’s not possible with everyone but it’s not impossible either. I find I get on better with males because they are more black and white, no gossiping, no bitching, no playing games or girly chats. The only other females I get along with are those which generally work around men so have similar personality and traits and aren’t interested in make-up or hairstyles or shopping!

    • You more than likely have a male “friend” who likes you but is afraid to tell you. I still to stick to what I’ve written and I agree with it completely just based on life experiences.

      • Perhaps your life experiences are painting a very biased picture? From my experiences I it easier tomaintain ffriendships with non Muslims than Muslims because Muslim males do get the wrong idea unfortunately.
        Of course my friends like me. Regardless of gender you wouldn’t befriend someone you disliked. As humans we can confuse the feelings of admiration for the opposite gender as something more (and in some cases the same gender). Besides regardless of feelings, it’s whether you act upon them that really counts. I have friends who are married, old enough to be my father/grandfather to young my university colleagues and we’ve been able to maintain a level of friendship. I think it’s very unhealthy to completely distance yourself from the opposite gender because there will be times in your life when you will probably have to work closely with someone and then everything will get complicated because you’ll think you’ve fallen for the first man that treats you well.
        That’s my opinion anyhow.
        I think I’ve hijacked all your posts – sorry!

      • This isn’t only from my perspective though. It is from many others I’ve spoken to and their experiences have been the same. There is also a video on youtube where over 90% of women say, they cannot simply be friends with men and vice versa, so it is true. Now, if someone does keep it just as friends, it is because they are afraid or have been rejected already by you without even verbally hearing it.

        There is a complete difference from working with the opposite gender and being friends with them and even then, the law of attraction happens. It is an avoidable thing but unless you are gay, have no confidence at all, then it is avoidable.

        And it’s cool. Feel free to comment whenever you like.

      • Just because 90% of women have said (from what will probably be a small sample in the first place! ), that doesn’t equate it to “true” for everyone. Perhaps those 90% of women are the really girly girly females and don’t often befriend or work with men? Lot’s of factors contribute.

        People spend most of their waking day at work. Friendships naturally develop from work or school or uni from the opposite gender. You can’t help that unless the environment is all of one gender.

        You are making assumptions that people who are able to maintain friendships do so due to lack of confidence or the other reasons you mention. What about the fact they are strong willed? I agree if both are single and attracted to each other than there’s a disaster waiting to happen UNLESS one is determined that nothing will.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s