*This is not an attack on women. A topic, article had popped up yesterday and it had inspired me to write this.
To the women who feel they’ve accomplished so much that they sit there and brag about their achievements in life compared to others and pass off suitable spouses. Remember, Allah SWT had given you the ability to achieve and accomplish all this in your life and much more. Instead, you sit there with your head held up high, ego boosted up and say, “I accomplished this in my life.” “I will make $80,000 a year and my husband should be making more and if he doesn’t, I will be independent until then.” I really want you to think about this. Allah SWT had given you so much and at the same time, he may be testing you with what He had given you. Perhaps you making more money than your husband is a form of your rizq (sustenance) given to you by Allah. Why do you choose to belittle others who have not chose to tread the same path as you? Just because you had accomplished so many things, Masha’Allah, does that allow you to throw the word “independent” in other people’s face?
Let’s look at the mother of the believers. The first Muslimah, Khadija (May Allah Be Pleased With Her). She had owned her own business. She was making money. She could have been independent and just as many women today throw the word independent in their husband’s face or suitable spouse face, she didn’t. Isn’t this an example there for us to think and reflect? Isn’t she a role model there for us to show that financial support is from both sides of the charts and not only one side? Isn’t there enough to show us, the ummah, that finances don’t mean the world and the taqwa, the deen and eman are so much more?
Instead, you sit there and gloat in your accomplishments, throwing around the word “independent.” No one is independent in this world and no one ever will be. We all rely on Allah for everything, in the good times and bad times. When you needed to be successful, who did you make du’aa to help you achieve those accomplishments? Allah. When you were ready to take a test, who did you turn to help you pass that test? Allah. So where did this word “independent” come from? The western culture has allowed you to shape your mind and allowed you to believe you are independent and the only person you need is yourself. Which is untrue. Your parents depend on one another. Isn’t this an example for you to think and reflect? Has your mother ever thrown the word independent at your father? Has your father thrown the word independent at your mother? Most likely, they haven’t because they understand the value of marriage and relationships. They are also aware of the rights upon one another given to them by Allah.
Don’t boast or brag or think you are independent because you’ve accomplished so much in your life. Everything you may have been given is probably a test on you. Allah provides for everybody. So why do you choose to think you are better off alone? Why do you choose to think, you making more money than your husband makes you better than him and he is much lower than you? Are we not ranked by the piety? Are we not judged by Allah SWT?
Free yourself of this way of thinking, as you may think what you have is good enough and if my husband leaves, my accomplishments, my money, will make a way for me. You are incorrect, Allah SWT always make a way for people. That money, those accomplishments were given to you by Allah SWT. Marriage is about two people, equity, rights over one another. Not about who has more money and who has accomplished more. I just want you to think and reflect. No one is independent, we all are dependent and everything is given and taken away by no one else, other than Allah SWT.