Marriage is a blessing and it takes two of you to work together. You cannot have one on lunch break all the time, while the other is slaving away. It creates distance and frustration. It creates a challenge within the persons heart, as they believe, where does my love stand with my significant other. Do not let it get to that point, where your significant other is doubting the relationship because Allah has blessed you two. He has put you two in a position where you two are meant to be together. You have been showered with blessings, so carry those blessings and also live together and love together as the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) did with his wives. Do not think for a moment that since you are the bread winner, they will be there because they need you. Money will always be there because everyone is provided with rizq (sustenance) on a daily basis and also the power of du’ah is powerful. Do not become a person of material value but be a person that is valued for what is in the heart and what is expressed. You can be replaced at anytime, so do not put business over family or your spouse. What your spouse does not receive from you, in terms of comfort, they will seek out other places and people to find that comfort.
Divorces are at an all time high and the percentage keeps climbing and one of the main reasons is because couples are incompatible with each other. You can be compatible but it takes time and interest in your significant other to know what is exactly going on. You have to continuously mesh and adjust with your significant other, as they are always going to be different from you in many ways but also similar in many ways. If you believe you can get through marriage by being tough and think you are on top of the world and my way or no way, then your way is only creating a heavy barrier within your significant others heart, which in time will create more problems and more silence in the marriage. Learn to adjust and learn to communicate on several different levels. Learn to develop a better understanding of your spouse, so when their time in need comes you are there for them. Marriage is not easy but can be made easy, if you two work together. Learn to adjust, learn to compromise, learn to give space and learn to be honest at any given moment because a lie will hurt more than the truth. Always, always, always, give your best effort, no matter the circumstance and remain positive and know that Allah will test you within your marriage with afflictions and calamities, so that you may turn to him with your hearts and in time, your marriage will grow through patience and Insha’Allah (If Allah Wills) the love between you two will never fade. Remember, Allah is knower of all things and the best of planners but we also have a choice, our own intentions whether we do good or do bad, so don’t sit around expecting things to change, be the change and make du’ah with sincere intentions, that you want things to change!
“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put Love and mercy between your (hearts), verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” – Surah – Al-Rum: Verse 21
It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with her (in love).} Surah – AI-Araf: Verse 189
If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things]” (Surah Al-Nisa – Verse 35)