Asalamwalikhum (Peace Be Upon You). In the name of Allah, the most beneficent, the most merciful.
The topic of discussion that has been lingering my mind for quite a while is “Lust, Love & Marriage.” Many people have a difficult understanding or more so, a misinterpretation of the words lust and love. Some people confuse lust for love. While others confuse love for lust.
At a very young age, we have always been confused on what is actually love and what is actually lust. We also seem to have a difficulty in understanding these two words or emotions. Some just express love carelessly as if, that is actually what they feel at the moment, when it is actually lust. The definition of lust is something you are very tempted for, have an uncontrollable desire for and getting it by any means. So many of us confuse lust for love. We all have lust that eventually leads us to saying those “special” words of “I love you”. When in reality, it was nothing but lust and nothing else. Which misleads our thoughts and emotions. Which leaves us empty. While we believed for every moment, we were in love when it was nothing but lust.
Lust is a bad fire. A bad emotion within us. Some of us will refuse to believe lust is actually bad. Lust is extremely bad and I’ll explain why. Not only does lust mislead us and the next person, it leads to more of an uncontrollable desire, we cannot control. It becomes so out of control, sometimes we are unaware of the act we are actually committing, until it is actually over. It leaves mental scars on our minds that deeply affects us in the long run. Lust is usually replaced by love by all ages. From the time you’ve reached the age of puberty till the time and after you are married, you will always have lust (bad fire) inside of you.
Love some may believe is an ever lasting emotion. Love is a special bond between you and your significant other. A physical and emotional attachment that you cannot let go. In order to feel this love, some people have a misconception that love is only seen and felt through the physical form. Whether it’s holding hands, hugging and kissing. It’s what we have been exposed to. Some people can’t go without love or the physical “role” that is taken when you are in love because it fills a void in their life. That emptiness that was left by lust.
Your love and lust desires can easily be filled with one thing and one thing only. That is marriage. It’s a big step in many peoples lives. Some people ignore it because of their upbringings. Some people hate to speak about it as well. Some people feel, it brings nothing but unnecessary tension that shouldn’t be there. Some people refuse to get married because of has been seen in the court system. Some people just don’t want to get married at all because they have this illusion, that marriage does nothing and is only a title.
Marriage in Islam protects you from lust. All types of lust. It enables you to share a bond between you and your significant other. It also is a sunnah (practice) of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him). It also protects you from natural urges that you may have had before getting married. Now you are free to express those urges with you and your significant other. It’s a blessing to be married and to share your happiness.
These misconceptions of love and lust can easily be fixed. They were only created for you to have an emptiness all the time. An urge, a bad fire. Relationships do nothing but aid to that emptiness you’ve had all along. Relationships are illusions, dreams of what you’ve always wanted it to be but it never was. They leave a void. So if you want real love, don’t engage in these physical forms of “love”. Get to know a person. If you two see eye to eye or your taste and her taste are alike, get married and leave it in the hands of Allah. No body else but in the hands of Allah. Everything happens with the Will of Allah and nobody else.
Inshallah (Will Of Allah), I find a wife real soon, so I can express this love, rather than the fabricated love I was envisioned with it. Inshallah (Will of Allah) you find your significant other as well. May Allah bless your marriage and your kids with lots of love and happiness.