It’s All In The Mind, Baby!!

I never knew education was linked to ambition and drive, well lets not say educate per say but attaining a degree or Phd nor did I know, people who have low ambitions don’t attain these achievements. So only people who have high ambitions in life attain degrees, Phd’s and diplomas. It’s fascinating how people have become so entranced into societies standards as someone has stated above (from another page), rather than having their own standards. 

Entering into a university or college doesn’t again, I will write again, elevate a person’s status in society. Maybe in the community or within your family but whose opinion do we hold? If society viewed people who didn’t enter into post secondary institutions as not being successful, everyone else who did enter it, would be rich in knowledge or rich in finances? Is a person who is able to attain such certificates or invest time able to attain such an elevated status in society? I will use a cliche example such as Bill Gates. He didn’t enter into a college or university to build a computer but he did it with parts in his garage. Was his drive, ambition, passion linked to the influence of his teachers or parents or a text book? No, it was linked to his mindset being able to achieve, being able to hold onto a belief of being successful. 

Success is not guaranteed or linked to a degree but it is always, always, always linked to a person’s mindset and belief. If a person wants it, they’ll overcome obstacles in life and go and get it. If a person doesn’t, they’ll continue to make excuses and not achieve whatever it is. It’s great people want to get a degree or Phd or whatever it maybe and people themselves and hold such a standard regarding a potential spouse to hold such an achievement but does that achievement, success, finances guarantee their love for you? Guarantee their deen (religion), eman (faith), taqwa, in the eyes of Allah? We hold such a high standard towards this materialistic demand and it is a sole reason why, people are struggling to get married. Woman want a man who holds certain degrees or Phd’s. It’s not even certain ones, whether that person holds a bachelor degree or whatever, it’s beyond that. They need an achievement which was not a mindset, a goal in mind before they achieved it. Then they come across a road block from a woman who wants more in return. It’s the parents as well. 

I understand, a woman wants security, she wants a man that is going to provide for her but how do you know what type of life you will live if you continue to fear, continue to make road blocks, and continue to increase your standards which may not even be able to be attained by some or anyone? Through marriage, barakah (blessings) are given. If a person is struggling to attain a job, Allah provides a job through that person’s effort, through completing a sunnah. A person may even have a job and own a business. Before getting married that business could be struggling but after getting married, that business increases and that person becomes successful because Allah had provided more barakah (blessings) for that person through the process of getting married. 

People fear and it’s the truth, what other people will think all the time. What others will say. What type of occupation does your spouse have? What type of car does your spouse drive? What type of house, living accommodation has he provided? Is it like the Kardashians? Is it like billionaire or millionaire Bill Gates? Is it like Doctor Apu? Stop comparing your life to other peoples life. Stop comparing your dreams to other people’s fulfilled dreams, in regards to having a spouse. Being realistic and not extravagant, being optimistic and hopeful, rather than strangling this standard of an achievement which another person does not want or did not want to attain, does not lower that persons blessings or finances. If a man wants to provide for his family and he really does, with a degree or without one, he will go and provide for that family. Whether it is getting 1 job or 2 jobs. Whether it is working night and day or working half of the day. It is always going to be about sacrifice but again, I’d like to ask the reader. Will this degree or phd you are looking for in the list of standards you hold, guarantee that person’s love for you? Will it guarantee you being even a better Muslim after getting married? Will this person help you attain jannah because his passion is more in touch with attaining jannah, rather than the dunya? Will him holding a Phd or degree guarantee your happiness through being loved in a materialistic mean? If you can answer that and say, you know what, it does not guarantee all of this, then you’ve set your standards too high.

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