How Problems Are Created In Relationships

You know how problems are created in relationships? it starts from US being too compassionate and loving, too open, too much freedom within the relationship out of fear, that person is going to leave us. So we let them do certain things and then they take advantage of it. Then when we want them to treat us the same way, it doesn’t happen because now, they are relying on you for forgiveness.

To forgive them for being late or not being there or not answering their phone. So they come with the lovey dovey bullshit to cover their tracks. Their muddy foot prints and when they do, we accept it with open arms. Forgetting everything, I mean everything, because you feel that person is there with you, where you wanted them to be and the relationship is perfect. But more so the relationship is a leaky faucet because YOU on the receiving end is wanting the persons love. Eventually it gets to a point where that faucet just ready to burst wide open and you let out all your emotions. You break down and tell it like it is. Sometimes they try to fix it, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they say “lets forget about it” but you can’t.Eventually in your mind, your going to feel guilty about that person, thinking, no no, it’s not them it’s me! That is when you start being taken advantage of.

That is where you fail in the relationship. You allow them to walk all over you, while you express how you feel. While they sit back, soak in everything you’ve given them and live their life. Don’t be the one that is taken advantage of. Take advantage of the signs. Take advantage of what is going on in your life. If your sitting there, wondering why all these things are happening, crying, being emotional, while the signs are you slapping you in the face, blame yourself.

Relationships are not hard work. If you think love is hard work and you think it’s not some what equal, your in for a rude awakening. Relationships don’t revolve around one person. Relationships consist of mirror images. They say opposites attract but really, how many opposites have you met, that have attracted you? That have kept you happy? That have kept you in a stable, comforting relationship? They haven’t.

We as people are always longing for love but we don’t even know what love is. All we’ve ever had was movies and a word defined by a person, explaining what love is. Only you can define what “love” is. Others can’t. Others can only give you their vision of love. What they have envisioned for all this time. Love cannot be defined by a word or words because  words are misinterpreted. They leave a person lingering in their thoughts because the words of “love” have created a mysterious aura in their mind. We are naive so we go along with their words. With their mysterious aura. We are so captured by words, that we forget one important thing. That is expression.

Expression is what we need to be looking for within a relationship. Interest is also another thing we need to be looking for in a relationship. You can’t have a relationship and not express the way you feel. Not express interest in the other. It just doesn’t work like that. When your interested in something, you stick to it. You try all sorts of things to express your interest. Some of us love basketball so much, we wake up early in the morning and practice, so we can be better at something we love. This here, shows that we are interested and it has expressed our interest in something we love. Expression and interest will take you to where you want to be in a relationship. Express yourself and show interest.

Relationships shouldn’t be like a job. Like a chore. When it starts becoming like a regular 9-5 and you got to put up with your boss everyday or people everyday and you hate it, you should know it’s not working out. But some people again, are so naive that they worry about other peoples feelings. Thinking I just got to do it because I have to do it. When you have to do something you hate, your only hurting yourself. Your only creating holes that will affect you mentally. Mentally in the long run because you thought in your mind, what you were doing was right. The only thing you were doing was creating false hopes because it’s just wasn’t meant to be anymore. Your body wasn’t yearning it for anymore.

Don’t become the object of trial and error. It will only affect you mentally in the long run. What  I mean by trial and error, you allow people to try several things on you, that have been done to you in the past. You hold onto false hopes because you think love will take over your life and you’ll live in this fantasy world with this person because, you think again, they love you or you love them. Your only doing this because of your past. Your past is going to be your past. Those were trials and errors. Now it’s about learning from those trials and errors and not making the same trials and errors. You must learn to overcome your past and not expect things to bubble out the same way. Your only digging yourself a bigger hole for you to crawl into.

Live with an open mind. Love with an interest and expression and most important of them all. Don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Read the signs, they are clear. They will lead you to the right moments of happiness.

Asalamwalikhum (Peace Be Upon You)

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