Look Good & Be Good To Each Other

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I’ve noticed that men on the day of the walima (feast, wedding) will dress in the nicest clothing. Look extremely tidy and neat but as soon as that is over, they won’t look neat and tidy. Instead, they’ll become over weight and look like they are either pregnant or they are the ones that actually carried the baby with the weight they’ve gained. When they do look and dress nice, it is very rare but they expect their wives to look beautiful on most occasions.

Abdullah Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “I love that I beautify myself for my wife just like I love that she beautifies herself for me.” {Musannaf li-Ibn Abi Shaybah}

I’ve also noticed women before the wedding will drop a few sizes, lose weight just to beautify themselves for their husband. As soon as that is over, the woman becomes comfortable and lets herself go. Eating is important but eating healthy and taking care of yourself is important too. Your husband may never leave you when you gain weight but your health comes first.

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “Your body has a right over you.” {Shahih Al-Bukhari]

I also feel for the husband who works his butt off trying to provide a better living for his wife and children but his wife is not compassionate or appreciative of what is being done, instead just nags and complains about wanting more, is verbally abusive, making him feel unwanted and unappreciated.

I also feel for the wife who does everything in the household, cleaning, cooking, and looking after and raising the children but her husband is not compassionate or appreciative of what is being done, instead just nags, complains and is verbally abusive, making her feel unwanted and unappreciated.

Both should take time to realize what is being done in order for them to have the best lifestyle and living provided. It is not easy but what will make it easier if you appreciate the effort and give compliments instead of nagging and complaining about the effort being put in.

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “The best of you are the best to their families, and I am the best to my family” [Sunan At-Tirmidhi]

The Prophet Muhammad also never complained about the food that was made. If he didn’t like it, he would leave it. This should be a lesson for those husbands, especially husbands that constantly complain about the wife’s effort in preparing and making the food. Emeril never became great in a day, Chef Ramzi never became great in a day and no one ever did but they continuously put the effort into make the best food possible. If your wife cooks for you, eat it don’t complain. Be patient with her, she is trying and doing it because she cares about you or she would probably poison you (joking).

It is reported by Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him): The Prophet (peace & blessings be upon him) would never complain about the food, but he would eat the food he liked and would leave what he disliked (shahih bukhari)

Question: “I Am Struggling To Practice”

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Someone had emailed me in regards to them struggling to consistently being a practicing Muslim. This is my advice to them and everyone else but more importantly, a reminder to myself first. 

 

Assalamu Alaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatu,

My name is ——-, and I just randomly came across your blog Think & Be Positive, and I just want to say May Allah swt reward you for the kind words and the reminder on how important hijab is.

I wanted to ask you if you had any advice for me. You see, I grew up in America and into a big family alhamdulilah and Islam has always been taught in my home our whole lives; however the more I get older and now that I’m 19 the less I put my focus on this deen. It’s harder for me to pray all my salats and it’s even harder for me to be the person I want to be. Alhamdulillah this Ramadan has taught me a lot and I have become better. However I want to stay like this after Ramadan and only grow better to be the best muslimah. My question to you is what should I do or can I do to be “religious” or pious I should say. I think what I lack is motivation even though entering Jannah should be motivation enough.

If you read this, Jazakallah Khair

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Walikhumsalam, ———-.

JazakAllah khair for your kind words. It has put a smile on my face. Thank you for that. It really means a lot.
I had written two topics about the question you are asking. I will give you the links to them and you can read them whenever you like. I will also, insha’Allah, do my best to advise you.
Firstly, I also live in North America. Toronto that is and I also have a big family alhumdulilah. Just as you have been taught through out your life, I have been taught the same way. I’ve been through ups and downs, hills and mountains just to get where I am and it’s not easy. Even today, my eman goes up and down and so will everyone else’s eman too, so don’t worry about it. Even the companions one day, one by the name of Hanzullah (may Allah be pleased with him) thought he was a hypocrite because when he is with the Messenger of Allah, he feels as if he is in paradise and he is reminded of Allah but when he is with his family, his mind goes else where. So he had approached the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) with this issue and the messenger of Allah told him, if you are the way you are with me all the time, the angels would come down from the heavens and give you salam. Then he said, there is a time for this and there is a time for that. This hadith can be found in Shahih Muslim.
You just have to keep striving every single day. Knowing your end goal is jannah and knowing you are pleasing the creator of the heavens and the earth and nobody else. When you feel down or out of touch with wanting to pray salah, just try to push yourself to pray it. Even if you pray just the obligatory ones, you are making a great deal of effort because you are battling the whispers of the shaytaan and also laziness. Im not perfect and Im just giving you my 26 years of experience on this earth.
Also, surround yourself with the right people. Surround yourself with people who will help you become a better muslim as well. If you listen to music, replace with the Quran and lectures of scholars or sheikhs or imams who are knowledgable in this deen. Ill give you two channels on youtube that has helped me a great deal, alhumdulilah. Cutting off music is difficult but it takes time. I battled with that too.
Just keep making progress everyday. Just as you want to be successful in school or in your work field, the same thought should be in mind. We know with school and work there is a physical prize. A physical accomplishment. You graduate from school and it makes you feel great because the end goal is either 4 or 5 years away. With work, the better you do, the higher your pay becomes and you get promoted. That end goal is there, embedded into your mind. With Islam, the end goal could come anytime and since we don’t see things happen to us physically, we become lazy or we forget about it but it’s beautiful when you think about it. Your family is a blessing but we don’t see it as that often. Our clothes, a warm home, friends, food, intelligence, beauty but we them as very minor things in our lives, so we don’t appreciate them. These are all blessings which many don’t have and many lack appreciation for.
Appreciate what you have. Strive every single day. Know that Allah is bountiful and make duaa for whatever it is you want. It is either answered in three ways. To avert an evil from you, so it protects you. Answered in this life or answered in the hereafter.
I hope this helps, insha’Allah. If you have any other questions or another question that relates to this, please feel free to message me anytime. I always check my inbox, so I will do my best to reply as soon as possible.
Oh yeah, the youtube channels.

How Can You Expect Them To Stay Quiet?

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Before you come to defend Israel, please do it from a logically thinking perspective and put yourself in the shoes of Palestinians. The land of Palestine has been illegally occupied since the 1940′s and here are these people that are supposed to be calm and just accept that everything they’ve ever owned is being taken away, from the land to their children? Their homes being destroyed all because they, the Zionist think the land belongs to them, so they destroy it and build illegal settlements.

You think the Natives were quiet when their land was taken by the British and Americans? You think the Africans were quiet when their land was taken and they were taken as slaves back to America? None of them were quiet and neither are the Palestinians. The Saharis are not quiet either and their land has been taken by the King of Morocco, they still fight for it till this day. And I’m certain, if your land, home or whatever it is you owned and strived for was taken away, you would not keep quiet. If your family was murdered, you would not keep quiet and neither would I or anyone else in the world. We would fight them with our lives on the line but sadly, the IDF has brutally been massacring the people for decades and taking land bit by bit, as much as they can, so they, the Zionist Israeli Regime can claim it as their own.

The Muslims and Jews can live in peace and it has been done centuries ago and it’s happening around the world. So please, bring a discussion that will actually make sense because what the IDF is doing cannot be defended and will never be defended. Killing innocent people, destroying their homes, arresting innocent people, all for what? These aren’t humans, these are animals with no morals and no beliefs because if they did, they would know what they are doing is wrong.

The Coolness Of The Morning

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I would like to share something personal with you all. I’ve been dwelling on this topic for a few days now and I’ve been going back and forth with it in my head. I didn’t want to write it because, I don’t want to seem as if I am a better Muslim than you all or I am showing off but I am writing this because after that morning, something inside of me has told me to write about my experience. Maybe it is the shaytaan that has prevented me from penning, well penning is not the right word but typing my feelings out. It’s still heavy on my chest and on my mind, kind of weighing me down and has only made me want to share my feelings or to say, experience. Here it is…..

I cried like a baby a few days ago. You are probably thinking, that’s it? You cried? You do know, just because you are a man doesn’t mean you can’t cry. Yes, I know but that’s not the reason why Im sharing this with you. Let me tell you…

I had finished my suhoor a few days ago and I was waiting for fajr salah to begin with the congregation at my local masjid. I made my way there through the coolness of the morning, walking quickly hoping I don’t miss a unit of prayer. Joining a brother of African American descent beside me, made me feel great as a Muslim because it shows unity and Islam is not only a religion for Arabs but Islam is a religion for all of mankind. Through out the salah, I kept saying to myself for some odd reason, his recitation is very beautiful how come I won’t cry? But every time he recited certain words which I understood, I got goosebumps and it would instantly hit me.

He had begun the second unit of prayer and Im still standing there, listening to the beautiful recitation of the Quran. As we came out of rukoo, stood up, the imam had started making duaa, as this is the qunoot which is sometimes recited at the times of affliction when the Muslim ummah is affected by a calamity. It was then my heart just shook, my body felt weak and the tears were falling from my eyes. As I write this, tears are forming in my eyes. I don’t speak arabic but a lot of the duaas which were recited, I knew the meanings of them, so it shook me even more. It made me cry even more. The tears were just forming, dripping down my face, while the brother beside me was crying too.

All that i’ve been through in my life. All that I have seen these past couple of weeks with the people of Palestine being afflicted hit me like nothing I’ve ever experienced. The tears just kept on coming down my face. Nothing could have prepared me for crying in front of a crowd of people but it wasn’t a crowd of people that I was crying in front of but it was Allah SWT, the creator of the heavens and the earth. Never in my life had I cried the way I had cried during the duaa in fajr salah. Everything in my life, which Allah SWT had tried me with I accepted knowing it was best for me but it hurt a lot. Sometimes, you can accept the things in your life that keep happening or the tragedies in the world, knowing it is the decree of Allah but deep down, you are hurt from everything.

After the salah had finished, I quickly wiped the last couple of tears off my face, recited Ayatul Kursi and walked out the masjid. A great deal of weight that was on my heart and my mind was removed. I felt so relieved but I was questioning myself as to why I cried? I still ask myself, why did I cry that morning in fajr salah? The only logical reason I could come up with is because Allah had softened my heart in order for me to cry. In order for His words from the Quran to soften my heart. A lot of us have hard hearts and no matter what we do, how we live our lives, we cannot cry but crying, especially in front of your creator, when making duaa or listening to the Quran or reciting it is a mercy from Allah because His words are supposed to change your life, make you a better person.

May Allah SWT softens all our hearts and does not harden our hearts through out our lives and when they are softened, they remain that way.

Ameen.

Masking Your Insecurities

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Wearing make up to mask your insecurities will not mask what you have hidden deep inside. Learn to be confident about yourself and learn that beauty is not defined by the exterior of a person. At the end of the night, that make up is washed off but your insecurities are still there, what have you solved? Learn to see the beauty within yourself and know that Allah SWT has created you beautifully in a unique way. You are blessed. You are attractive and you have what others wish they have in the physical or your characteristic traits but they don’t tell you. Say you are beautiful and believe you are beautiful and nothing less. Battle your insecurities, don’t mask them.

Don’t Be Bothered By What They Say Of You

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Don’t concern yourself with what others say or write about you because that is giving into what they want. Just keep walking and do the best you can every single day of your life. The minute you give in, they’ve won the battle and you’ve lost yourself in anger, concentrating on their words. Pay them no mind and they’ll lose their mind hoping you catch of glimpse of their bitterness, envy, jealousy towards you. They admire your work. They admire your ethic but deep down inside, they can’t deal with what Allah has blessed you with, so they either speak about about you in private, try to destroy what you’ve worked for or create rumours but as long as you have tawakul (trust) in Allah, you tie your camel, trust me don’t worry about a thing. Keep working everyday single day of your life and your rewards and recognition is given to you from Allah and never yourself. Do things for the sake of Allah and be yourself. If they feel you are fake, it is a feeling of bitterness, jealousy and envy, which they created without really knowing the person you really are. At the end of the day, you have your life to live and they have their own but you, concentrate on living yours, while they waste away theirs, concentrating on destroying and wanting yours but never will they be successful because success can never be built on hate.

Don’t Be Discouraged

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Feeling discouraged about your blog?

 

Well, stop!

 

If you are a writer on wordpress, tumblr, blogspot and whatever else exists, please don’t stop writing if a lot of people aren’t visiting your page or liking what you have written. It’s not about likes or a lot of visits but it is how many people are reading your stuff and how it is changing their lives and what they have learned. You have the power to change people’s lives through the words you have written on these pages. Your writing will evolve, people will come, read and learn. Don’t be discouraged because it’s not happening as fast as you want it to. Allah, the creator of the heavens and the earth is in control of who actually comes to your page. People come because it is Allah that led them towards you. Just as people come into your life as lessons or blessings, people are coming to your page for the same reasons. Because you are a blessing for their struggles and a lesson for their struggles or whatever it may be.

Everything takes time and if it this is what you love to do, that is writing, keep going and write as often as you can. I suffer from writers block too, quite often actually but that has never stopped me from sitting here or walking around and then hours later i’ll come up with a topic. I’ll sit here, write something and delete it several times before I actually come up with something. A lot of times, I won’t even enjoy what I’ve written because I am my toughest critique but I still publish it either on WordPress or Facebook.

You are of benefit to others whether you know it or not. That 1 visitor that has read a certain topic on your blog has benefited from it, whether you know it or not. It has left an impression on their mind, their struggle, whatever it is they’ve come looking for. Just because they haven’t told you doesn’t mean you haven’t made an impact. Keep striving and keep writing.

You are changing someone’s life one day at a time. One visit at a time. Once again, it’s not about the amount of visits or likes your posts/entries receive but it is about how that post/entry has changed the person that has read it, in a positive way. Not everyone will agree with what you have written but don’t let that be a reason for you to stop or get intimidated by someone’s opinion. This blog is your world, so control it and write freely, passionately and with tons of positive energy. Even if you are writing something that has taken you years to speak about, write it but don’t expose your sins. Leave impressions on people in a positive way. Also, one important tip, use words everyone can understand. Anyone can use “big”, “fancy” words but if the reader does not understand them, then they are missing the essence. It’s not because they are dumber than you but it is because your words, your work, should reach as many people as possible, so use words that are common. Also, tag your work according to what you have written. Tagging is extremely crucial in reaching out to the viewers you actually want to reach out to.

Now, you’ve made your mark in the blogging world, continue with it. You’ve done what others aren’t courageous enough to do, that is to express themselves in a world where expression seems to be caged behind entertainment and being occupied with less resourceful things. Just tie your camel and leave the rest to Allah. Meaning, you’ve made the effort, now leave the rest to the creator of the heavens and the earth.

I hope this helps and encourages anyone that has not made their mark in the blogging world because they are afraid of what others think. Who cares what others think. Take control of your freedom and express yourself. Change someones life. Change your life by expressing what you’ve hidden inside for so long, that is a beautiful talent, a gift, a rizq (sustenance) Allah SWT has given to you.

Words Of Positivity

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Do what you love and do it everyday of your life. Do it with a smile on your face and never be discouraged by those who see value in materialism rather than their happiness and sanity. Never sacrifice your life for the dollar as you and many others are already being sacrificed for it, look at the world, we are worthless. Become worthwhile to others by inspiring and encouraging a better lifestyle which can not be bought but is taught by learning the value of ourselves. If you knew what you are really worth to others, you would not need to buy friends or luxury but your love, comfort, jokes are more than enough.

Don’t ever look to fit in. Stand out amongst the crowd. You are unique. Allah SWT created us with unique gifts and abilities but you want to be a clone. Don’t settle for that but be better than that. Who cares how others perceive you when you stand alone as you will be standing alone in front your creator one day too. Live to do good but don’t brag about it. Your rewards are with Allah, who cares if they don’t notice it or appreciate it.

Be of benefit to others. Be at service to others. Help people smile. Relieve of them their worries. Advise them, console them, comfort them but don’t get walked over, as you matter too. Life will bring you down, people will walk all over you but don’t let that be a reason you change or stop being who you are. Those people are just inconsiderate and unaware of what will be lost when it is no longer there.

You are a valuable asset to society, to your friends, to your family, to the world but you need to make a progression in how you think and view yourself. You have all this intelligence. You have skills that others don’t hold but you refuse to let it shine because you are afraid of how others will perceive you. You don’t know how others will perceive you and even if you do, it shouldn’t matter because it is your happiness and joy that matters, while being in service to others.

Smile often and smile proudly. Be confident in how you look, how you stand and how you view yourself because others will not do it for you. Accept yourself and let go of your past. You need to live for the present and you need to love yourself before you are ready to love others.

And most important of all, take your time in sujood (prostration) and ask and you will receive. This is a bond, a connection you have directly with Allah, so ask as much as you like and ask for whatever it is you want. Allah SWT is Ar-Rahman (The Most Beneficent), Al-Mujib (The Responsive), Al-Karim (The Generous), Al Razzaq (The Provider) and much more.

Share this positive message with others so they can benefit as well. Don’t just read it and keep it to yourself. Others may need it more than you.

Thank you – JazakAllah khair

Judging Those Striving For The Deen (Religion)

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Before you judge others about how they are striving for the deen (religion) remember, you were at one point where they were too. You know the struggle, you know the effort every single day and your eman (faith) got better each and every single time. Instead of judging others how they are striving, look to give them a hand and support. You didn’t become pious over night, while you were spending most of your nights else where. You didn’t become pious through the day, while you were spending your day else where. Everyone starts some where, just as you did. Make it easy for others as you know how hard it was for you. Give sincere advice, not judgemental criticism. Encouraging them to strive, instead of saying, “It’s only a temporary thing” because those same words were probably uttered to you, while they didn’t know your intention and it hurt you bad. We are all one ummah (nation) so lets help each other get closer to the deen, instead of dragging them away from it, by being judgemental and negative. Just because your actions are pious, doesn’t mean your heart isn’t black with the things you say and think about others.