Change Takes Time

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Changing oneself is not easy, it takes a lot of time. People are not like cars where there is a mechanic who is able to piece the broken parts together in a matter of hours or days and give you an improved version. We all have taken years to be who we wanted to become and even then, we are not fully improved in the areas we want to be.

Just as we are taking time to improve who we are, you should expect the same from others. Everyone improves at their own time, through their own experiences, so we should do our best to be patient with them. We should also advise them to the best of our abilities and not grow impatient with their progress. We don’t know what types of battles they have going on within themselves, that we don’t see on the surface. The more you are a thorn in their side, the more battles they face and the longer it may take for them to improve in the areas they want. You may in fact become the hurdle in their process which you want to see so badly.

Change takes time but we should not change or improve what we want when it is too late. The boat will leave the dock and may never return. Just as death may arrive and you may never be prepared. As long as you are making progress and trying to change to the best of your abilities, insha’Allah, it’ll happen. Cities were not built in a day and Arnold never built his physique after one workout. Everything takes time.

Eid Innovations (Bidahs)

Since Eid is tomorrow, I want ALL of you to read this through carefully. If any of you are participating in ANY of these things or have to do things which are listed, then complete them and avoid the ones you need to avoid.

Mistakes related to Eid-ul-Fitr

By Asma bint Shameem

In the name of Allah, the Most-Merciful, the All-Compassionate

Mistake#1: Spending the night of Eid in worship.

Some people think that it is prescribed to spend the night of Eid in worship based on a WEAK hadeeth which says, “Whoever stays up on the night of Eid, his heart will not die on the day when hearts die.” This hadeeth is NOT saheeh. (Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth al-Da’eefah wa’l-Mawdoo’ah by Sheikh al-Albaani)

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: “The ahaadeeth in which the nights before the two Eids are mentioned are falsely attributed to the Prophet (pbuh).”

So DO NOT single out the night of Eid for Ibaadah, as this is a kind of bidah that is NOT proven from the Prophet (pbuh), unless it is part of you NORMAL nightly routine.

Mistake#2: Celebrating “Chand Raat”

Some people do the exact opposite of the above and spend the night before Eid, singing, dancing , listening to music, with free mixing of men and women, lack of hijaab and Hayaa’. They forget the promise they made to Allaah to stay away from haraam. Do you really want to throw away all your hard work and effort you put in worship during Ramadaan for just a few hours of utterly useless waste of time?

Mistake#3: Fasting on the Day of Eid

It is haraam to fast on the Day of Eid “He [the Prophet (pbuh)] forbade fasting on the day of (Eid) al-Fitr and the day of al-Nahr (Eid al-Adha).” (Bukhaari, Muslim)

Mistake#4: Visiting graves specifically on the day of Eid

Do not make it a point to visit graves on this day only. To do so is bid‘ah as it goes against the teaching of the Prophet (pbuh). It comes under the general meaning of the Prophet’s prohibition on visiting graves on a specific day and making that like a festival. (Ahkaam al-Janaa’iz wa Bidauha by al-Albaani)

However, if one visits the graves throughout the year, there is no harm.

Mistake#5: Women mixing with men in the prayer area and elsewhere

It is haraam for women and men to mix and mingle with each other if they are not mahrams, whether throughout the year or during Eid.

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what do you think about the brother-in-law?” he said: “The brother in law is death.” (Bukhaari, Muslim).

Mistake#6: Women going out wearing perfume and makeup, and without hijaab

This is a problem which is widespread, and many people take this matter lightly, although it is FARD for an adult Muslim woman to wear hijaab and cover herself and her hair. Remember sisters, you will be asked about this on the Day you stand in front of Allaah.

“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the believing women to draw their cloaks all over their bodies. That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Ahzaab:59]..

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Any woman who puts on perfume and passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, is an adulteress.” (al-Nasaa’i, al-Tirmidhi-hasan )

Mistake#7: Listening to music and attending Eid parties with haraam things.

It is haraam to listen to music, yet people take this matter very lightly. It is on TV and radio, in cars, homes and marketplaces, and even cell phones. This confirms the words of the Prophet (pbuh), “There will be among my ummah people who will regard adultery, silk, alcohol and musical instruments as permissible.” (Bukhaari)

One should always observe the limits prescribed by Islam. Although it is from the Sunnah to enjoy the celebration of Eid, one should avoid parties that contain free mixing, and flirting, instruments of the devil, or staying up late to the point of missing Salatul Fajr, etc.

Mistake#8: Shaking hands with non-Mahrams

It is haraam to shake hands of non-mahrams, EVEN if it is Eid!

read more: Ruling on shaking hands with the opposite sex Here

Mistake#9: Not praying the Eid prayer.

Some people think it is not a big deal if they don’t pray Salatul Eid. However, it is unanimously agreed that the Eid prayer is prescribed in Islam. So much so that some Ulama say that it is fard ‘ayn (an individual obligation), and that not doing it is a sin. The Prophet (pbuh) commanded even the virgins and women in seclusion, i.e., those who did not ordinarily come out, to attend the Eid prayer place.

Mistake#10: Not saying the Takbeeraat out loud (for men) or at the right time

Saying the takbeeraat out loud is one of the greatest Sunnahs on the day of Eid because Allaah says: “(He wants that you) must complete the same number (of days), and that you must magnify Allaah [i.e. to say Takbeer (Allaahu Akbar: Allaah is the Most Great)] for having guided you so that you may be grateful to Him” [al-Baqarah:185]

The time for takbeer begins when it is proven that the new moon of Shawwaal has been sighted or thirty days of Ramadaan have been completed. And it ends when the Eid prayer begins. (Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen)

One of the most common forms of takbeer used by the Prophet (pbuh)was:
Allaahu akbar, Allaahu akbar, Allaahu akbar,
laa ilaaha ill-Allaah,
Allaahu akbar, Allaahu akbar, Allaahu akbar,
wa Lillaahi’l-hamd

(Allaah is Most Great, Allaah is Most Great, Allaah is Most Great,
there is no god except Allaah,
Allaah is Most Great, Allaah is Most Great , Allaah is Most Great,
and all praise be to Allaah).

Men should raise their voices reciting this dhikr in the marketplaces, mosques and homes, but women should not raise their voices.

Mistake#11: Thinking that one is released from the “Prison of Ramadaan”

Once Ramadaan ends, one is not “free” to go back to his old sinful ways, free from the constraints of Ramadan. Rather, we celebrate Eid because Allaah blessed us with the opportunity to worship Him and ask for forgiveness. Also, we celebrate with the hope that we are from the ones that will be freed from Hellfire and rewarded with Jannah.

Mistake#12: Delaying Zakaat al-Fitr

One of the rulings on the day of Eid al-Fitr is that Zakaat al-Fitr is due on this day. The Prophet (pbuh) enjoined that it should be paid before the Eid prayer or one or two days before that. Ibn ‘Umar said: “They used to give it one or two days before (Eid) al-Fitr.” (Bukhaari)

If it is paid AFTER the Eid prayer, it DOES NOT as Zakaat al-Fitr.
“Whoever pays it before the prayer, it is Zakaat al-Fitr, and whoever pays it after the prayer, it is ordinary charity.”

Look Good & Be Good To Each Other

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I’ve noticed that men on the day of the walima (feast, wedding) will dress in the nicest clothing. Look extremely tidy and neat but as soon as that is over, they won’t look neat and tidy. Instead, they’ll become over weight and look like they are either pregnant or they are the ones that actually carried the baby with the weight they’ve gained. When they do look and dress nice, it is very rare but they expect their wives to look beautiful on most occasions.

Abdullah Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “I love that I beautify myself for my wife just like I love that she beautifies herself for me.” {Musannaf li-Ibn Abi Shaybah}

I’ve also noticed women before the wedding will drop a few sizes, lose weight just to beautify themselves for their husband. As soon as that is over, the woman becomes comfortable and lets herself go. Eating is important but eating healthy and taking care of yourself is important too. Your husband may never leave you when you gain weight but your health comes first.

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “Your body has a right over you.” {Shahih Al-Bukhari]

I also feel for the husband who works his butt off trying to provide a better living for his wife and children but his wife is not compassionate or appreciative of what is being done, instead just nags and complains about wanting more, is verbally abusive, making him feel unwanted and unappreciated.

I also feel for the wife who does everything in the household, cleaning, cooking, and looking after and raising the children but her husband is not compassionate or appreciative of what is being done, instead just nags, complains and is verbally abusive, making her feel unwanted and unappreciated.

Both should take time to realize what is being done in order for them to have the best lifestyle and living provided. It is not easy but what will make it easier if you appreciate the effort and give compliments instead of nagging and complaining about the effort being put in.

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) said: “The best of you are the best to their families, and I am the best to my family” [Sunan At-Tirmidhi]

The Prophet Muhammad also never complained about the food that was made. If he didn’t like it, he would leave it. This should be a lesson for those husbands, especially husbands that constantly complain about the wife’s effort in preparing and making the food. Emeril never became great in a day, Chef Ramzi never became great in a day and no one ever did but they continuously put the effort into make the best food possible. If your wife cooks for you, eat it don’t complain. Be patient with her, she is trying and doing it because she cares about you or she would probably poison you (joking).

It is reported by Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him): The Prophet (peace & blessings be upon him) would never complain about the food, but he would eat the food he liked and would leave what he disliked (shahih bukhari)

Question: “I Am Struggling To Practice”

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Someone had emailed me in regards to them struggling to consistently being a practicing Muslim. This is my advice to them and everyone else but more importantly, a reminder to myself first. 

 

Assalamu Alaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatu,

My name is ——-, and I just randomly came across your blog Think & Be Positive, and I just want to say May Allah swt reward you for the kind words and the reminder on how important hijab is.

I wanted to ask you if you had any advice for me. You see, I grew up in America and into a big family alhamdulilah and Islam has always been taught in my home our whole lives; however the more I get older and now that I’m 19 the less I put my focus on this deen. It’s harder for me to pray all my salats and it’s even harder for me to be the person I want to be. Alhamdulillah this Ramadan has taught me a lot and I have become better. However I want to stay like this after Ramadan and only grow better to be the best muslimah. My question to you is what should I do or can I do to be “religious” or pious I should say. I think what I lack is motivation even though entering Jannah should be motivation enough.

If you read this, Jazakallah Khair

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Walikhumsalam, ———-.

JazakAllah khair for your kind words. It has put a smile on my face. Thank you for that. It really means a lot.
I had written two topics about the question you are asking. I will give you the links to them and you can read them whenever you like. I will also, insha’Allah, do my best to advise you.
Firstly, I also live in North America. Toronto that is and I also have a big family alhumdulilah. Just as you have been taught through out your life, I have been taught the same way. I’ve been through ups and downs, hills and mountains just to get where I am and it’s not easy. Even today, my eman goes up and down and so will everyone else’s eman too, so don’t worry about it. Even the companions one day, one by the name of Hanzullah (may Allah be pleased with him) thought he was a hypocrite because when he is with the Messenger of Allah, he feels as if he is in paradise and he is reminded of Allah but when he is with his family, his mind goes else where. So he had approached the Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) with this issue and the messenger of Allah told him, if you are the way you are with me all the time, the angels would come down from the heavens and give you salam. Then he said, there is a time for this and there is a time for that. This hadith can be found in Shahih Muslim.
You just have to keep striving every single day. Knowing your end goal is jannah and knowing you are pleasing the creator of the heavens and the earth and nobody else. When you feel down or out of touch with wanting to pray salah, just try to push yourself to pray it. Even if you pray just the obligatory ones, you are making a great deal of effort because you are battling the whispers of the shaytaan and also laziness. Im not perfect and Im just giving you my 26 years of experience on this earth.
Also, surround yourself with the right people. Surround yourself with people who will help you become a better muslim as well. If you listen to music, replace with the Quran and lectures of scholars or sheikhs or imams who are knowledgable in this deen. Ill give you two channels on youtube that has helped me a great deal, alhumdulilah. Cutting off music is difficult but it takes time. I battled with that too.
Just keep making progress everyday. Just as you want to be successful in school or in your work field, the same thought should be in mind. We know with school and work there is a physical prize. A physical accomplishment. You graduate from school and it makes you feel great because the end goal is either 4 or 5 years away. With work, the better you do, the higher your pay becomes and you get promoted. That end goal is there, embedded into your mind. With Islam, the end goal could come anytime and since we don’t see things happen to us physically, we become lazy or we forget about it but it’s beautiful when you think about it. Your family is a blessing but we don’t see it as that often. Our clothes, a warm home, friends, food, intelligence, beauty but we them as very minor things in our lives, so we don’t appreciate them. These are all blessings which many don’t have and many lack appreciation for.
Appreciate what you have. Strive every single day. Know that Allah is bountiful and make duaa for whatever it is you want. It is either answered in three ways. To avert an evil from you, so it protects you. Answered in this life or answered in the hereafter.
I hope this helps, insha’Allah. If you have any other questions or another question that relates to this, please feel free to message me anytime. I always check my inbox, so I will do my best to reply as soon as possible.
Oh yeah, the youtube channels.

How Can You Expect Them To Stay Quiet?

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Before you come to defend Israel, please do it from a logically thinking perspective and put yourself in the shoes of Palestinians. The land of Palestine has been illegally occupied since the 1940’s and here are these people that are supposed to be calm and just accept that everything they’ve ever owned is being taken away, from the land to their children? Their homes being destroyed all because they, the Zionist think the land belongs to them, so they destroy it and build illegal settlements.

You think the Natives were quiet when their land was taken by the British and Americans? You think the Africans were quiet when their land was taken and they were taken as slaves back to America? None of them were quiet and neither are the Palestinians. The Saharis are not quiet either and their land has been taken by the King of Morocco, they still fight for it till this day. And I’m certain, if your land, home or whatever it is you owned and strived for was taken away, you would not keep quiet. If your family was murdered, you would not keep quiet and neither would I or anyone else in the world. We would fight them with our lives on the line but sadly, the IDF has brutally been massacring the people for decades and taking land bit by bit, as much as they can, so they, the Zionist Israeli Regime can claim it as their own.

The Muslims and Jews can live in peace and it has been done centuries ago and it’s happening around the world. So please, bring a discussion that will actually make sense because what the IDF is doing cannot be defended and will never be defended. Killing innocent people, destroying their homes, arresting innocent people, all for what? These aren’t humans, these are animals with no morals and no beliefs because if they did, they would know what they are doing is wrong.

The Coolness Of The Morning

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I would like to share something personal with you all. I’ve been dwelling on this topic for a few days now and I’ve been going back and forth with it in my head. I didn’t want to write it because, I don’t want to seem as if I am a better Muslim than you all or I am showing off but I am writing this because after that morning, something inside of me has told me to write about my experience. Maybe it is the shaytaan that has prevented me from penning, well penning is not the right word but typing my feelings out. It’s still heavy on my chest and on my mind, kind of weighing me down and has only made me want to share my feelings or to say, experience. Here it is…..

I cried like a baby a few days ago. You are probably thinking, that’s it? You cried? You do know, just because you are a man doesn’t mean you can’t cry. Yes, I know but that’s not the reason why Im sharing this with you. Let me tell you…

I had finished my suhoor a few days ago and I was waiting for fajr salah to begin with the congregation at my local masjid. I made my way there through the coolness of the morning, walking quickly hoping I don’t miss a unit of prayer. Joining a brother of African American descent beside me, made me feel great as a Muslim because it shows unity and Islam is not only a religion for Arabs but Islam is a religion for all of mankind. Through out the salah, I kept saying to myself for some odd reason, his recitation is very beautiful how come I won’t cry? But every time he recited certain words which I understood, I got goosebumps and it would instantly hit me.

He had begun the second unit of prayer and Im still standing there, listening to the beautiful recitation of the Quran. As we came out of rukoo, stood up, the imam had started making duaa, as this is the qunoot which is sometimes recited at the times of affliction when the Muslim ummah is affected by a calamity. It was then my heart just shook, my body felt weak and the tears were falling from my eyes. As I write this, tears are forming in my eyes. I don’t speak arabic but a lot of the duaas which were recited, I knew the meanings of them, so it shook me even more. It made me cry even more. The tears were just forming, dripping down my face, while the brother beside me was crying too.

All that i’ve been through in my life. All that I have seen these past couple of weeks with the people of Palestine being afflicted hit me like nothing I’ve ever experienced. The tears just kept on coming down my face. Nothing could have prepared me for crying in front of a crowd of people but it wasn’t a crowd of people that I was crying in front of but it was Allah SWT, the creator of the heavens and the earth. Never in my life had I cried the way I had cried during the duaa in fajr salah. Everything in my life, which Allah SWT had tried me with I accepted knowing it was best for me but it hurt a lot. Sometimes, you can accept the things in your life that keep happening or the tragedies in the world, knowing it is the decree of Allah but deep down, you are hurt from everything.

After the salah had finished, I quickly wiped the last couple of tears off my face, recited Ayatul Kursi and walked out the masjid. A great deal of weight that was on my heart and my mind was removed. I felt so relieved but I was questioning myself as to why I cried? I still ask myself, why did I cry that morning in fajr salah? The only logical reason I could come up with is because Allah had softened my heart in order for me to cry. In order for His words from the Quran to soften my heart. A lot of us have hard hearts and no matter what we do, how we live our lives, we cannot cry but crying, especially in front of your creator, when making duaa or listening to the Quran or reciting it is a mercy from Allah because His words are supposed to change your life, make you a better person.

May Allah SWT softens all our hearts and does not harden our hearts through out our lives and when they are softened, they remain that way.

Ameen.