Do Not Be Hasty

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Do not be hasty to get married because there aren’t many proposals coming your way.

And do not be hasty to get married hoping someone makes you a better Muslim, while you are not practicing right now to become a better Muslim.

And do not be hasty to get married hoping someone will wake you up for fajr, wake up for fajr now, so you wont need another to help you with that as well.

And do not be hasty to get married to run away from your problems because your problems will still either exist or increase, do your best to solve them, so you wont be burdened with more.

And do not be hasty to marry any individual that comes your way because you think you aren’t good enough, because that individual may end up making you feel that way, instead of what you hoped.

And do not be hasty to marry someone who is not upon the correct aqeedah (beliefs), upon the Qur’an & Sunnah because you may think, they will later but they may never, only for their beliefs to hurt your kids.

And do not be hasty to get married hoping that individual changes because changing for another individual will be temporary, make sure they have changed because the need to change for themselves.

And do not be hasty to get married hoping someone loves you, while in the meantime you could love yourself because they may never love you, instead destroy you.

And do not be hasty to get married because others seem happy on the surface but deep down inside, they are hurting and behind closed doors being abused.

And do not be hasty to get married because being patient will bring the right individual and being hasty may make you regret your decision. Have tremendous faith in Allah SWT that the right one will come. Do not sign your life away with regrets but sign with relief, confidence, being upon the Qur’an & Sunnah, being a practicing muslim that loves yourself and insha’Allah, you’ll live a happy married life.

Food For Thought III

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Think good of yourself and receive your trials in life as a blessing and take things you are turned away from as blessings. Be confident in yourself because no one else can be confident for you. For there are many things about yourself that others love, that you hate but they wish and pray they could have. You are an unlimited potential that limits yourself from the confine of your mind, being trapped and afraid of how the world will react to your intelligence, to the skills and abilities Allah SWT has blessed you with. The ugliness inside of you needs work more than the ugliness on your face because it will disappear in a few years but the ugliness inside of you, on your heart will remain for decades or however long you live, which will ruin the person you are.

No heart turns cold or bitter unless you want it to. Your experiences are nothing but lessons to enable you to grasp the reality of this world and what you are really here for. You strive for this world but Allah says: “This world is nothing but play an amusement.” And there after in the same verse, Allah SWT says: “But far better is the house in the hereafter.” [6:32] Your success will begin with your salah and the hardest things to achieve always give the most joy, so begin with Fajr salah and bring ease to your day.

Your capabilities are boundless but you must remain attached to the success bringer and only is He who can give you success. Never be arrogant with what you have nor feel superior to anybody, as what you may be given as a blessing, may turn into a trial due to how you handle it and show others. Your skin is just a colour, a pigment to the eye, just as your face but that is never telling of the person you are, so be good to others no matter the treatment they put you through.

Never chase anybody in this life because those who are meant to stay, will stay regardless of your downfalls and struggles but those who are meant to leave, will leave because they were never meant to be the piece to complete your life’s puzzle. Be as you say you are and do as you say, do your best to keep your word, so you remain a trustworthy individual. Say the truth even if it is against yourself and against those closest to you, as this is what Muslim is supposed to do.

Don’t wish ill for nobody because wishing ill for others will bring ill to your heart and blacken it. Pray for others, wish them good, just as you have been given good. Don’t take advantage of the vulnerable but give them guidance to show them the way. Don’t say nothing about others they don’t like because your good deeds will be needed on the day it matters the most.

Your time is your most valuable asset, so spend it well and only give to those who will receive and treat it well. Love those who show you endless love and do your best to give it equally, as they show you how valuable you are to them. Life is full of worries and stress but one sujood makes it all better, so keep your salah close and tears for the one who can give you an end to your hardships.

Smile as often as possible because each day you wake up is a blessing others have not received. Eat well, treat your body right and see it give you your rights. In the end, you only have one life and 24/hours, do not waste it worrying and complaining cause you have so much to give and live for. Spend it well, goto towards success (salah) and see your life become easier as you are leaving everything to the one who has given you everything.

26 To 27 – Lessons I’ve Learned

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Yesterday, I turned 27. Please don’t write happy birthday. Here are some lessons I learned.

Im too nice and eventually that gets the best of me. Im too forgiving but I learned it’s best to let people go who aren’t a positive force in your life. If they break you down now, they’ll always break you down later.

Your heart and mind will always conflict, so you look to outside sources to reassure what your mind has made up, even then, it is difficult to do what is right, even if it is hurting you.

An ugly personality with a beautiful face, is still ugly. No amount of products or surgery can change that.

Wisdom does not come from age but it comes from experiences.

Extract lessons from your hardships to teach others on how to be the strongest version of themselves. Your ability to teach is undermined by the ability of your mind.

No one in this world is ugly. No matter how many people will tell you that, it is up to you to believe it or not. Be confident in your looks and how you were created.

Your body is an amanah (trust) so treat it with care. The better you take care of it now, the more it’ll benefit you when you are older. Go workout, get in shape and stay determined. A flower does not grow in a day and your body will not change in a day. It takes time and a lot of effort.

Keep your circle of friends small and keep those who are loyal in. Everyone else is just to keep you company.

Hardships are never to break you down but to make you stronger. Tough times don’t last, tough people do.

Pancakes are the best

Learn lessons from those who have been through more than you. You’ll learn from what they did right and you’ll avoid what they did wrong.

We are all selfish in some ways. Lessons are learned through realization not from those who are judging you.

Learn to love yourself first because self love will always exist, while a secondary love is temporary.

Always encourage those around you. Help them overcome their fears. Not because you expect them to return the favour but because Allah’s blessings are greater.

Always smile, joke around and enjoy yourself. There are others in this world who have less than you but appreciate everything more.

Everything is by the will of Allah, so no matter what you decide in life, if it is not meant to be, it wont be but best believe, it’ll be replaced with what is meant to be.

If your hardships aren’t bringing you closer to Allah, then your hardships will always exist. Get closer to the one who created you by putting your head on the floor and see your hardships depart.

Choose your life partner wisely. If they don’t pray salah, if they drink and understand the Qu’ran differently, then they aren’t for you.

Any woman can wear a hijab and any man can grow a beard but it is the actions that count, not the image presented.

And finally, be in service to others but not as a slave. You are a slave to Allah and not a slave to money. Correct your relationship with Allah SWT and you’ll be successful in everything you decide to do.

Men & Educated Women

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Men do not have a problem with educated women but they have a problem when women try to over power them, are arrogant, egotistical due to their education. Just because you’ve decided to get your certificate/diploma/degree/masters doesn’t mean you are superior, it means you’ve committed enough time and dedicated yourself to something you’ve wanted to achieve so congratulations!
Now, on the other hand, you do have some men, culturally influenced men who dislikes a woman that is smarter than him, then this man is someone who is not confident in himself, as intelligent individuals should be comfortable around those who are also intelligent as well. It creates intelligent and stimulating conversations, where two people can learn from one another.

No man or woman should feel superior due to what they have achieved in life, instead they should be supportive of one another and not feel threatened by the opposite sex. Your rizq (sustenance) is going to be provided by Allah and what people often at times forget or don’t know, is that sustenance not only deals with money but it deals many others thing and what you’ll earn in life, intelligence, being smart is one of them.

Don’t feel threatened because a sister has decided to get an education. The first person to found a higher learning system was actually a woman, so remember, if it wasn’t for a woman, many of you wouldn’t have a university/college to go to. This also doesn’t mean women should stick their chest out and be egotistical or arrogant because of what they’ve earned because remember, Allah SWT guided you to earning that, so be humble.

Men, be supportive of women and be accepting of a woman who earns more than you, if she decides to work, that earning is from Allah and not from you, it is also her money according to Islam. If she is smart, alhumdulilah because you honestly don’t want a dumb woman who will raise your children one day.

Men and women need be balanced with what they are learning. Learn about worldly matters and things that will benefit your deen (religion), eman (faith) as well. It will make your dunya (world) and akhira (hereafter) easier to attain.

Just be humble and be accepting of one another achievements in life. It will benefit both of you in the end. Be happy, stay humble and never be arrogant of what you have because it can be taken away.

5 Things Weightlifting/BodyBuilding Has Taught Me

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1. Everything takes times.
No matter how bad you want something in life, no matter the type of shortcuts you decide to take, your life is going to take time to show your fruits of success. A flower does not sprout in a day and your body, no matter how much you eat, no matter how much protein you absorb, your muscles are going to take time to grow.

2. You must be determined and focused on your goal.
You will have days where you will feel lazy, where you don’t even want to get out of bed. You may be going through something horrible and just want to give up but if this is what you want and you want it as bad as you want to breathe, you will always make an effort and make no excuses to get that goal completed.

3. You must be disciplined.
There is no slacking off! There are no days where you give only 50%. Everyday, you must invest 100% of yourself into the gym, into life to be where you want to be. Paint a picture in your mind. Write your goal down and develop yourself into accepting and accomplishing it by sticking to it by any means necessary. If you are not disciplined, you will not get what you want because you have to keep working at it.

4. I am different from others.
I may see many people being successful with their physique, with their lifts, with their gains but this does not mean they are better than me, this means, they’ve just put in more time and dedication. I cannot make any excuses as to where I am today, instead, I need to put in the time and effort, just as they have. Some are blessed with good genetics and some aren’t but this doesn’t mean, I blame my genetics, I just have to work hard to be where I want to be. We all grow and develop differently.

5. No matter how tough your life can be, never give up!
Just as you struggle to push that 1-3 rep max, you must consistently work your life with the same effort and energy. There will be pressure and there will be so many times where your life becomes difficult, just as it is difficult to push that weight. Just as you are able to push through it, you will be able to push through life’s toughest moments! Everything in life, when it gets tough, is just like that bar, that weight you are trying your hardest to raise above you, to push out of the way. Take life for what it is, continue pushing and have the never give up attitude. Don’t ever let it crush you!

Set Your Kibr (Pride/Arrogance) Aside

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I could never comprehend why some people think their culture or race is superior to others? Wouldn’t you think if your race or culture was superior compared to everyone else’s, you wouldn’t have to work a single day in your life and you would just lounge all day because you are the “chosen” people? You wouldn’t have to worry about a single thing because you are superior compared to everyone else because you are the “chosen” people? The reality is, you are not superior to anyone, so why are you so full of pride over your skin colour, race or traditions compared to everyone else’s? Do you not see that you live just like everyone else? That you turn for help to the creator like everyone else? That the creator made you nations and tribes so you may recognize one another? Isn’t that what Allah SWT says in the Surah Al-Hujurat? So where do you get this idea that your race, culture or traditions are better? Does a person’s skin colour matter more than their character? Seems so in people’s minds. Someone could have the worst of character but since their skin colour matches theirs or the language is the same, they seem to be better. How illogical is that? Do you not understand that thinking this way, while living in a diverse society makes you look like a fool? How closed minded can people be? They want you to accept them for their skin colour, traditions or race, while at the same time rejecting yours but when you don’t accept theirs, they scream racism and want to seek “justice” against your doing. Hypocritical!

Im fed up with how society treats minorities, when the same minorities are doing what the majority do to others. I thought we got past all the racism? I guess not. People still pride themselves over their skin colour, when x-rays show our bones are white, facts say, we are really the same. So why are you obsessed over your skin colour? Why are you obsessed with your culture? Why are you obsessed with your traditions? These things do make you different but reality is, we are really the same.

Doesn’t Allah say in Surah Al-Hajj

We created you from dust, then from a sperm-drop, then from a clinging clot, and then from a lump of flesh, formed and unformed – that We may show you. And We settle in the wombs whom We will for a specified term, then We bring you out as a child, and then [We develop you] that you may reach your [time of] maturity.

So please tell me, how you are superior to anyone else when you are formed and created the same? Then when you die, you are shrouded and buried the same.

Let go of your pride over your skin colour, culture and traditions. All it does is hurt you and especially your children the most. You are nothing but a soul in a body with an appointed time on this earth. Live it without pride and live with an open mind. It’ll make your life easier.

Why Are We Struggling To Get Married?

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Why are we struggling to get married?

First, our parents put too many expectations on your spouse to be. They expect that individual to be of your origin and from your village. Then, the degree, wealth and career choice. It’s not common for parents to worry about deen because some how it isn’t important.

Second, our expectations. Beautiful, handsome, ethnicity, what type of degree and career choice. Sometimes I absolutely hear really stupid things. like “If they don’t have a degree, how can they have an intellectual conversation?” C’mon, bruh, really? Once again, It’s not common for us to worry about deen.

Want to make getting married easier? Make sure that individual is at least practicing Islam to the best of their ability. Anyone can wear a hijab. Anyone can grow a beard but it is the actions of the limbs and tongue that matter most. If they have that, then look at them. Are they attractive to you? Do you see what you like? OK good, if they do. Next, make sure you are compatible. You two get along. Can make each other laugh and smile. That individual is open minded and understanding. They have goals. Long term and short term.

Money? It is needed but not an excessive amount. Degrees? Cool if you have, cool if you don’t. If that individual doesn’t have deen, then you as a Muslim, they aren’t right for you. Deen is what will run the family and raise the kids. Without it, you are lost. You need that individual to be upon the Quran and Sunnah, not upon misguidance and innovations.

Easy as written? I wish! let’s make it easy then. As parents and spouses to be.

The Importance Of Following The Sunnah & Not Blind Following

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Many of us growing up, we do as we are told from the way we eat, to how we eat, to the activities in our lives. When it comes to Islam, we think what we are taught either by our parents or  our madressa (school) teachers, we think it is correct. There is no doubts in our minds that these things, what we are learning today, are correct and these people will not mislead us because well, they are people of knowledge. Come on, our parents teaching us the wrong things? That would never happen! Well, it does happen and happens quite often within homes because what they have been taught, they never questioned it, they never openly asked questions, they just kept quiet and just kept following it. They never asked, did the Messenger of Allah do this? How did he and his companions (may Allah be pleased with them all) do it? Is it true? Is it authentic? We never had the courage to ask that nor did it ever cross our minds because we automatically assumed it was correct. I’ll tell you how I was following which I thought was from Islam, which was not but in fact either innovations or would have led me to shirk because I blindly followed without having a mind of my own.

I was introduced to or taught as a child that wearing a taweez (amulet) would protect you. It was something from Islam and just as a child would believe everything the parents or teachers at madressa taught them, I would follow along. It was only then, a few years ago where my family was introduced to a pious man. You know how pious people look, right? Beard, kufi, thobe and would speak very gently. They told me, he would know whether people had ayn (evil eye) or sihr (magic) done on them. I was amazed. I was like wow, really? So, my family and I went because of how he would find out. He would sit you down in a dark room, attach a screw driver into a hole of a slipper, tell you to put your finger on it and then ask you your name and your mothers name. Next thing you know, the slipper starts spinning. My family and I were shocked, like really? Did that happen? He gave us all a taweez, all taped up and had told me to carry it every where as it would protect me. Ignorant right? I was extremely ignorant.

Months passed by and I some how stumbled across a lecture by Abu Muhammad who performs ruqya in the UK. That lecture was a real eye opener because if you don’t know as of yet, anyone who asks for your mothers name is a magician. Yeah, that’s right, my family was introduced to a magician who claimed to have a cure, when there was nothing wrong with us but alhumdulilah, none of us have been afflicted.

Taweez (amulets) are not what you think they are and they do not benefit you in any single way. People are so misguided these days that they believe there is a cure in everything but wont look to pray their salah or read Qur’an. Last year, I was in the UK visiting a family friend in Leicester. He was having a lot of migraines all day, so his aunt had ordered taweez so they could stop. After researching for months about taweez and how to destroy them and reality of it, I had asked his mom for them, since she had put them away. I had asked her, what are these for? What did the individual tell you to do with them? She said, a few of these pieces of paper in water, then drink them and the other, he has to burn and inhale them. I had informed her, if he had done that, his situation would have gone worse and he could have had magic done to him. He could have been possessed by a jinn. I gathered all of them and destroyed them in front of her, educating her family about the dangers of it.

Once again, taweez are not what you think. Anyone who does ruqya or even does a bit of research on them, you would get scared as to what these sick magicians in disguise of pious people do to you. They are not there to protect you, they will actually harm you. The only protection is from Allah and believing in taweez as a form of protection is shirk. They are not permissible in Islam. So don’t go wearing one or asking for one to cure your problems. You need to have tawakul in Allah, pray your salah, read the Qur’an and read the morning and evening adkhars (supplications) everyday.

Another thing I was introduced and just blindly followed along because my family participated in it, was khatums. If any of you don’t know what a khatum is, it is when a family member dies, people gather in your home for literally weeks and recite Surah Fatiha, Surah Ikhlas, Surah Yaseen and each individual will read 1 juz of the Qur’an and give the rewards to the dead. I didn’t know what I was doing, all I knew was that this is what my family members do and this is what is taught in the community as well, so it must be right, right?

Nope! That all changed one night when Dr Bilal Philips had come to Toronto. He was an imam for several months at one of the masjids. I had attended one of his lectures or I believe he was recording a video for his Islamic Online University class. After the class was over, he had asked us if we had questions, so I asked a bunch of them and one of them of revolved around the virtues of Surah Yaseen that they teach you about as a youngster. If you ever open a Surah Yaseen book, you’ll find all these virtues about it and you are like wow! That is amazing for such a surah!

He clearly told me, that every single hadith about Surah Yaseen and its virtues are all weak or fabricated. I wasn’t in disbelief to hear that because I had looked it up on Islamqa for months trying to comprehend whether it was true or not, I just needed a confirmation. Same thing with khatums, they are not apart of Islam but since everyone has done them for so many years, probably decades, no one took time to find out whether it was permissible or not so they just blindly followed everyone.

Once again, all the virtues of surah yaseen are either based on weak hadiths or fabricated. Also, khatums are not from Islam and was introduced by sufism. Qur’an is for the living and not the dead. We are upon the way of the Salaf and if they had not practiced it, we should not either as these things will not be accepted. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) sad: “Every newly-invented thing is a bid’ah (innovation), every bid’ah is a going astray, and every going astray will be in the Fire.” [Reported by al-Nisaa'i]

Now, you would think that leaving these things that are not from Islam or based on weak or fabricated hadiths would be easy for me, right? That leaving how you were taught to pray salah since you were child and then praying it according to the Sunnah would be easy, right? You would think, the people who also practiced these things would listen with an open mind and also follow that way too. Everyone doing things according to the sunnah and not blindly following what has been taught since a young age. Wonderful world, isn’t it?

Nope! Only thing I have run into has been backlash. I either get called a salafi, which we all are. We are upon the way of the salaf or I either get called a wahabi. Some how, these ignorant people listened to others and thought, these two words are “bad.” When they are not. Muhammad Ibn Abdul Wahab (may Allah have mercy upon him) did not create his own sect. The term Wahabi was created by the British in the 1900’s. I get called hard headed, a lost cause, someone whom is misguided and so much more.

I’ve learned that no matter how much proof you gather against others to show them the right way, if they are inclined to follow their desires, their way, the way of their forefathers, nothing will change that unless they change that within themselves and by the will of Allah.

The straight path is covered in things that are beautified by shaytaan and by other misguided sects, whom practice things out of the norm, while making it look beautiful and amazing, trying to trap you in. As a Muslim, it is your obligation to be aware of these things that look beautiful to you, while they are nothing but misguidance. Following the straight path is not an easy one and not many individuals will follow you. Many will question you, as to why you’ve decided to leave what the majority are doing.

Allah SWT says in Surah Al’Anam: “If you follow the majority of people on the earth, they will lead you astray.”

I am not writing these things to confuse you, I am here telling you about what I went through and continue to go through, leaving the misguidance I was introduced to, to now following the way of the salaf, to the best of my ability. I am not perfect. I probably have sins more than you nor am I pious. I am just normal. I have many shortcomings you don’t see. There may be many things you are practicing that you think it is from Islam but it is not. You’ve questioned these things as well but many times you’ve got the same answer that it is but proof shows otherwise.

You have a mind, an intelligent mind, so use it to guide yourself to the best of your ability towards the straight path. It will not be easy and you will be questioned and you may not be accepted. People may call you names, people may abandon you and people will go against you but all that doesn’t matter if what they are doing or what you were doing is not pleasing to Allah.

Make duaa and ask Allah SWT to guide you to the straight, actually all of us.

Life Lessons II

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I’d rather someone show me they love me through their actions, instead of the things they buy for me. I cannot be bought.

If you don’t pray your salah, your life will only become more difficult. In order to ease the pain and for your worries to go away, make your sujoods long, ask Allah SWT, give sadaqa and be patient. Allah is testing you because He loves you, so don’t become impatient with the answers for your duaas.

Teach people to value themselves instead of the value of things. Encourage them and motivate them to see the potential in themselves.

A beautiful face cannot make up for an ugly personality. If your personality is rotten, ugly, then you overall are ugly because it is your personality that will improve, while your face will not.

A lot of friends aren’t important nor are they better for you. Loyalty and truth is what matters in the end. You may have a lot but they only keep you company, never being there when you need. They are not your friends.

Lessons in your life should improve your character, mindset and only allow you to be the strongest version of yourself. If they do not, then you are not learning from the lessons in your life.

You can have everything in your life, you can make people laugh but if you are not happy, then you are a candle that lights others but extinguishes itself.

“Only in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.” [Surah Ar-Ra’d]

Money is not everything nor having the best of everything. If you are happy with yourself and what you have, you’ll be the happiest person ever.

People don’t know your battles, won’t fight battles but are quick to judge your life and your efforts.

Everything is the will of Allah. No matter how bad you want something, no matter how much duaa you make, if it is not your time, it is not your time and Allah will only give it to you, when that time has arrived. This does not mean you stop making duaa but you are persistent with your actions and daily with your good deeds and your salah.

Be as you would like your future spouse to be, don’t expect them to be something you are not.

And lastly, be happy no matter what is going on in your life. Someone has it worse than you but can still wake up and appreciate what they have and smile, you can too.

Food For Thought II

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I think a lot of times, we let our emotions blind us when things don’t go our way or from things that have fallen apart. What we need to do is open our eyes to all the things we have been blessed with and things that are currently going good in our lives. We also need to think of all the evil we have been protected from and how merciful Allah SWT has been to us, even though we disobey Him constantly. The blessings we currently have in our lives should be more than enough to keep us happy and the blessings to come, should keep us optimistic of what Allah SWT has in store for us.

Look at the bright side of things when things don’t go how you hoped or expected. You live to breathe another day, while others may not. That is by far the biggest blessing each one of us are given every single day of our lives. Every single day is an opportunity for you to overcome something in your life. For you to recreate yourself in so many ways. For you to overcome fears. For you to create a better way that has been presented with the blessing called life. If you constantly keep yourself down and remind yourself of things that have fallen apart and you repeat that memory in your head, you will keep yourself from all that is beautiful currently happening in your life.

People come, people go but you, YOU, yes, YOU, exist and present yourself with a lesson to take on and to smile, while those around you, those loyal to you, those you live with, those who have struggled and battled with you have been there all along.

Life is indeed beautiful but we remain hopeless from things that were never meant for us or things that have broken us down. You remind yourself you are broken when you are not and even if you are, somethings are recreated, rebuilt even stronger than before. You have that opportunity to do so much with your life but it begins with taking the emotions from your eyes and also from your heart that weighs so heavily on your soul. Reminding yourself of the constant blessings in your life and all that you have been protected from.

You see, behind those lips lays a beautiful smile that cheers someone up and behind that skin lays a beautiful soul so many appreciate but we take for granted and never appreciate. Take a moment to remind yourself of what you have in your life currently. Just remind yourself of one thing. Whether it be your children, your parents, your siblings, your chance to live another day. Whatever it may be and appreciate that. These are beautiful blessings that been given to us every single day of our lives and some day, may not be with us anymore. Don’t let your emotions blind you from all that is good in your life.

You may not have what you want because you aren’t either ready for it or it is not good for you, that is Allah SWT protecting you and indeed giving you something better and that knowledge only exists with Him. Be patient. Your just due will come. In the mean time, appreciate what you have and I promise you, you’ll live a better life without all the worrying and all the past you’ve been holding on to. It’s doing you no good and just blinding you from what is currently going on in your life. Breathe, smile, say Alhumdulilah and go have yourself your favourite dessert or something that makes you happy because you deserve it, you earned it. Now, stop worrying. Make duaa, put in effort every single day and let Allah SWT work. Everything will work with perfection if you have complete reliance in Allah SWT. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine…… you will be fine, smile.